本期点评名师
姜经志 男,中学英语高级教师,省级骨干教师、淮北市优秀教师、中国外语学习学研究会会员,《学英语》《英语周报》等报刊特约编辑;多年来,在省级以上报刊发表文章800余篇,并有多篇论文获奖;曾主编《初中生英语满分作文大全》《英语奥林匹克》《新目标英语八年级暑假作业》,参编《高中英语知识点反馈与阅读》《初中英语题典大全》《21世纪英语学习指南》《初中英语新作文》《中学生英语水平测试》等10余册;曾辅导学生30余人次在国家和省级英语竞赛中获奖。
In order to build a healthy and civilized city, we students should try our best to behave well in many ways.
First of all, we must respect old people and polite① to others. Second, we should make our city clean every day. Dont throw litter here and there. Third, its polite to say “Thank you”, “Please” and so on. We should never speak② dirty words. Be friendly to others and always be ready to help others. For example, when we are in a bus, we should give our seats to the old people and the women have③ babies. Whats more, we should obey traffic rules. When traffic lights are red, we should stop. Last but not least, wed not better④ talk or laugh loudly in public.
If everyone behaves well, our city will be more and more beautiful.
安徽省濉溪縣百善中心学校九年级(2)班 徐慧
1. 优点:
这篇习作主题明确,行文流畅,通过运用“First of all”“Second”“Third”等连接词,使整篇文章层次分明、结构紧凑。祈使句和状语从句的使用也为文章增色不少。
2. 需要修改的地方:
①改为be polite。情态动词后面应接动词原形,polite是形容词,不能直接放在情态动词后面,故其前应加be。
②改为say。表示说“某种语言”用speak,如果表示说什么内容,应用say。
③改为with。with babies是介词短语,作后置定语。
④改为better not。had better do sth.意为“最好做某事”,其否定形式应在better后加not。
3. 评分:
按中考英语作文满分25分的标准,本文修改前可得22分。