成人礼

□作者佚名 尹丹婷译

成人礼

□作者佚名 尹丹婷译

突然有这么一刻，所有的事物都变得不同——你不知为何成了另一个人。

多年前的一天，我和我的父母、妻子还有儿子在一家餐馆吃饭，这家餐馆的菜单是写在一块黑板上的。在一顿愉快的晚餐之后，服务生将帐单放在桌子中间。我要说的故事就是从那一刻开始的?我的父亲居然没有伸出手去拿起帐单。

谈话还在进行着，最后我醒悟了，原来我才是那个被认为该付帐单的人。在与父母外出就餐成百上千次以后，在我一直认为只有父亲才有钱付账的时候，一切都变了。我伸手拿起帐单时，我的自我意识也随即起了变化，我是一个成年人了。

很多人用岁月来记载他们的人生,而我却喜欢用很多小的事件——成长仪式，来记载我自己的。我不是在一个像13岁这样特定的年龄时意识到自己是个成年人的，而是某一天，一个小孩走进我工作的商店里，叫我先生。他的眼睛直直地盯着我，还反复叫了好几遍。如同被人当头一棒似的，我，就这么的突然间成为一位先生了！

还有一些里程碑似的事情。年幼时，警察们在我心中的形象是很高大的，甚至可以说是伟大的，当然他们也是一定比我的年纪大很多的。然而，有一天他们突然比我年轻了?事实上，有些还只是小孩——个头看上去是这样的。又有一天我突然意识到我曾经看过的比赛中的足球运动员都比我年轻?他们也还只是大小孩。我曾梦想着自己有一天，或许，也能成为一名足球运动员。但自那天以后，我的梦想破灭了；就像一个登山者，还没有爬到半山坡，就结束了旅程。

我从未想过我会像父亲一样在电视机前睡着了，而现在，这是我最擅长做的事情。我从未想过我会去海边而不游泳，然而，我在海边度过漫长的八月却一次也没下海去游过。我从未想过我会喜欢戏剧，但是现在，戏剧演员那悲戚的嗓音和管弦乐队的完美组合却吸引着我。我从未想过我会喜欢晚上呆在家里，但是我现在发现自己却为此宁愿错过一些聚会。我过去常认为那些爱看鸟的人是很奇怪的，但这个夏天我发现自己居然也在欣赏它们，或许我还会买一本关于鸟的书；我渴望宗教的信仰，这也是我从未想到过的；在我和儿子的争执中，我重复着父亲过去常对我说过的话；我还在失去着一些东西。

一天，我买了一座房子，一天——那是怎样的一天啊——我成为了一位父亲，就在我替父亲付帐后不久。那时我认为这是我的一个成人礼。但是有一天，当我年龄又稍大一些后，我才意识到，对于父亲来说，这也是一个成人礼，是另一个里程碑。

附：原文

Rites of Passage

Suddenly there come times when everything is different

---you’re somehow another person

Several years ago my parents,my wife,my son,and I ate at one of those restaurants where the menu is written on a blackboard. After a wonderful dinner,the waiter set the bill in the middle of the table.That's when it happened:my father did not reach for the bill.

Conversationcontinued.Finally it dawned on me.I was supposed to pick up the bill! After hundreds of restaurant meals with my parents,after a lifetime of thinking of my father as the one who had the money,it had all changed.I reached for the check,and my view of myself was suddenly altered.I was an adult.

Somepeople mark off their lives in years;I measure mine in small events--in rites of passage.I did not become a young man at a particular age,like 13,but rather when a kid walked into the store where I worked and called me''mister.''He repeated it several times,looking straight at me.The realization hit like a punch:Me!I was suddenly a mister.

Therehave been other milestones.The cops of my youth always seemed big,even huge, and of course they were older than I was. Then one day they were suddenly neither.In fact,some were kids--short kids at that. The day came when I suddenly realized that all the football players in the game I was watching were younger than I was.They were just big kids.With that milestone went the dream that someday,maybe,I too could be a football player.Without ever having reached the hill,I was over it.

Inever thought that I would fall asleep in front of the television set as my father did. Now it's what I do best.I never thought that I would go to the beach and not swim.Yet I spent all of August at the seaside and never once went into the ocean.I never thought that I would like opera,but now the sadness and combination of voice and orchestra appeal to me.I never thought that I would prefer to stay home evenings,but now I find myself passing up parties.I used to think that people who watched birds were strange,but this summer I found myself watching them,and maybe I'll get a book on the subject.I long for a religious conviction that I never thought I'd want,and in arguments with my son,I repeat what my father used to say to me.I still lose.

One day I bought a house.One day--what a day!--I became a father,and not too long after that I picked up the bill for my own father.I thought then it was a rite of passage for me.But one day,when I was a little older, I realized it was one for him too.Another milestone.