坏不过告别

by Christopher Hudspeth

翻译：思苇

坏不过告别

Goodbyes Are the Worst

by Christopher Hudspeth

翻译：思苇

Track 7

时间正像一个趋炎附势的主人，对于一个临去的客人不过和他略微握握手，对于一个新来的客人，却伸开了两臂，飞也似地过去抱住他；欢迎是永远含笑的，告别总是带着叹息。—莎士比亚

Eras[时代]end. Friendships,daily routines[日常生活], jobs, locations, relationships, lives—anything you’re a part of right now is likely to end some day. Maybetemporarily[暂时地], but possibly forever. Endings as a wholetend to[趋向于]be disappointing. Personally, I hate when something I’m enjoying nears the end, so much so that I always avoid the last 20 seconds on the fnal tracks of my favorite albums, or turn off my favorite movies before theend credits[片尾演职人员表]begin. It’sextreme[极端的], and perhaps even a little odd, but somehow it eases the disappointment in the fact that something I enjoy is over. In life, these endings are far different than the last 20 seconds ofMarvin Gaye’s注What’s Going On, because I can just start the disc over. Endings in real life—in our lives, are simply not that simple.

时代总是会告终的。友谊、日常、工作、处所、关系、生活—你正置身其中的一切，总有一天会迎来终结。或许只是暂离，但也有可能从此永别。从大体上而言，结局总是容易让人失望的。对我来说，我很讨厌自己喜欢的事情临近尾声，以至于我在听喜欢的专辑时，总是要跳过最后一首歌的最后20秒；又或是在看喜欢的电影时，总是在结尾的演职人员表出现之前就关掉。我这做法太极端了，也许甚至有点怪异，不过它能缓解我喜欢的东西即将结束所带来的失落感。在人生中，我们所面对的结束与马文·盖伊的《发生了什么》最后20秒相去甚远，因为对后者，我只要从头再播就可以了。而在真实生活中—在我们的生活里的各种结局，可远远没有这么简单。

Goodbyes are directly linked to endings. A career change, a decision to move to another city, our lover breaking up with us or the other way around—these types of life-changing events each have endings that weigh heavily on our emotions. Whether you saw it coming or were completely surprised, the feelings are still going to be present. In reality, there’s no amount of timein advance[提前]that can fully prepare us for the actual goodbye—the part where the moment we’ve feared finally comes to pass, or the worst casescenario[情节]you hadn’t expected suddenlysnatches[抢夺]comfort from yourgrasp[抓住].

Generally speaking, saying “goodbye” is kind of uneasy. It doesn’t always go smoothly and often feels uncomfortable. Whether you ran into an old friend that you hadn’t seen for a long time, or you’re moving out of the place you’ve shared with the same roommates for years—when parting ways it can get awkward. Emotional words and tears orsarcastic[讥笑的]jokes and laughs? Handshake or hug? An empty “We should hang out soon” or an actual number exchange andhashed out[充分讨论]details? Will you be back in this place you’re leaving in a year? A decade? Or is this the last time you’ll ever be here? There are simply too many unanswerable questions for comfort. Too many unknowns tobe at ease[安心].

告别总会让人马上联想到终结。一次跳槽，决定搬去其他城市，被爱人甩了（或者甩了对方）—像这些会改变生活的事情，每次结束都会给我们的情绪带来沉重的负担。不管你是早有预感还是完全出乎意料，这些感受依然会如约而至。在现实生活里，无论给多长时间让我们做好心理准备，在真正面对告别时，我们还是会措手不及：那个让我们一直害怕的时刻终于到来了，又或是突然发生了一个最糟糕的意外状况，将你所拥有的安逸一把夺去。

一般而言，说“再见”可不容易，那并不总能顺利说出口，而且时常让人感到难受。不管你是偶遇一个很久不见的老朋友，还是准备搬离与室友同住多年的地方，在即将各奔东西时，告别就会让人局促不安。是直抒胸臆、抱头痛哭，还是调侃扯皮、大笑一场？是握握手，还是抱一个？一句空泛的“我们以后再联系”，还是真的交换号码，一边讨论细节？你会在一年还是十年后回到你离开的这个地方吗？又或者这是你最后一次待在这里呢？有太多无法回答的问题让人无以慰藉；有太多的未知让人无法自在。

注：马文·盖伊（1939—1984），美国摩城唱片著名歌手、作曲家，有“摩城王子”之称，对许多灵歌歌手都有巨大影响，可说是黑人流行音乐史上最受人敬重及喜爱的超级巨星之一。

Ciao['tʃaʊ]在意大利语里既是“你好”，也是“再见”的意思，是较熟悉的朋友之间相互问候的口头语。走在意大利的大街上，经常可以听到人们在说“Ciao”，至于他们是在告别还是刚见面，还得看具体的情况。

Ta-ta[‘tæ’ta:]指“再见，回头见”，多用于英式英语，非正式语境，语气偏向感叹。

Adieu[ə'djuː]源自法语，指“再见，诀别，永别”。Dieu在法语里表示“上帝，神”，而a就相当于英语里at或者to的意思，因此adieu直译过来就是“在上帝那里见面吧”，有“永别”或者“长期分别”、“相见遥遥无期”的意思。在日常生活中最好还是不要用adieu。

The best goodbyes are the ones that don’t ever actually happen. The stuff that doesn’t necessarily come to an ending so much as it slowly becomes into less and less over the months and years. Consider a person you used to be close friends with, but no longer speak to regularly. Someone you never had afalling out[吵架]with, but you simply grew apart from. These situations can be adowner[令人沮丧的人或事], especially when you realize the former friendship is covered in so manycobwebs[蜘蛛丝]it’s no longerrecognizable[可辨认的]. As big of a downer as thatepiphany[顿悟]may be, it doesn’t have the sudden shock effect of an actual goodbye. No hugs, no kisses, no handshakes, no airports, no packed bags or tears—just time.

Goodbyes are never going to be something we canadapt to[适应]. They’re all different and each one is followed by a different person, place or thing beingabsent[缺席的]in our lives. There are the necessary goodbyes that we feel a sense ofrelief[解脱]after, but even then, to know that something we once felt strongly about or comfortable with is going tocease[停止]to exist can be scary. Maybe we shouldeliminate[消除]“goodbye” from our vocabulary.Ciao, farewell[辞别], later,ta-ta, adieu—take your pick—any of those feel a lot less fnal, even if goodbye is the sad reality.

最好的告别是那种没有真正说出口的告别。有些东西不是必然地步向终结，而是随着年月逝去变得越来越不重要。有些人并没有和你吵架闹翻，你们只是自然而然地分开了。这些情况也会让人沮丧难过，尤其是当你意识到昔日的友谊如今布满蛛丝、早已面目全非的时候。这种顿悟虽然让人十分难过，但它不会带来真正的道别那种突如其来的震惊效果。没有拥抱，没有吻别，没有握手，没有机场送别，没有大包小包的行李，也没有眼泪—仅仅是时间的流逝。

道别是我们永远无法适应的事情。每一次道别都是独一无二的，随之而来的就是不同的人、地点或事物从此离开了我们的生活。有些告别还是很有必要的，会让我们在事后感到从此解脱；但就算是那样，一旦意识到我们曾经付出如此强烈感情的东西—又或是那些曾经让我们如此舒坦的存在将要消失殆尽，这依然是件可怕的事情。也许我们应该将“告别”从词汇表里删去。再会，别了，回见，再见，告辞……选个你喜欢的吧，选个感觉没那么曲终人散的词语—尽管我们还是要面对告别这个令人伤心的不争现实。