How to Be a Good Roommate and Deal with Those Who Aren’t

Laura Schluckebier

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走进大学，我们会结识来自五湖四海的朋友，一起学习，一起生活。然而，所有人都能适应这种资源共享的生活环境吗？这其中又会遇到什么问题？又需要如何去解决？自己在别人眼中能算得上是不错的室友吗？一连串的问题接踵而来，学习相关的室友法则也成了必不可少的“课程”之一。

Roommate horror stories are pretty popular topics of conversation at college. Everybody’s got them. Follow a few simple guidelines to ensure you’re not the awful roommate everyone’s talking about—and learn to deal with your terrible roommate.

I know bad roommates. Last year my noisy, inconsiderate1. inconsiderate: 不考虑别人的。roommate constantly woke me up around three in the morning. Her side of the room was always messy2. messy: 散乱的。and covered with clothes. Her suitcase from Christmas break didn’t move from the middle of the room all second semester. She used my makeup. She ate my food. One night, her boy toy stole my pillow off my bed while I was sleeping on it. And she brought a kitten to live in our room (which,just by the way, is totally against dorm policies).3. kitten: 小猫；by the way: 顺便说一下。Y’all4. Y’all: 即You all，你们大家。, I don’t like cats. Not even kittens. But who did the kitty like best? Me. Whose bed did it sleep on? Mine.Who did it wake up every morning to be fed? Me.

Oh, and it gave our room fleas5. flea: 跳蚤。.

While my rooming situation left much to be desired, I know that I probably wasn’t the perfect roommate either.6. 我和室友的相处现状并不尽如人意，同时，我知道自己很可能也不是完美的室友。However, my roommate and I were still able to get along together fairly well (all things considered) and managed to end the year on good terms. There are a few basic things you can do to help start off a successful roommate relationship and some tactics to help alleviate even the worst of rooming circumstances.7. 以下是一些基本的行为方法，来帮助你建立一段成功的室友关系；还有一些技巧，帮你缓和宿舍中最为糟糕的情况。tactic: 技巧，策略；alleviate: 缓和。

Respect Each Other

First and foremost, you need to respect your roommate. I know,sometimes, it’s really hard. But when you’re living in tight quarters8. quarter: 地段，地区。with the same person (or people), if you don’t respect them first, they sure as hell won’t respect you. Your parents have hopefully been teaching you what respecting others means since you were about four. The same rules apply in college as they did in preschool9. preschool: 幼儿园。.

Be considerate10. considerate: 体贴的，周到的。—If your roommate is sleeping or attempting to sleep,keep the noise and light levels down. If your roommate is studying,don’t have loud conversations in the same room. It really should be common sense, but it is truly amazing how people don’t understand what it means to be considerate. If in doubt, ask yourself if you would be annoyed if your roommate did whatever it is you would like to do to you. If the answer is no, take it elsewhere.

Keep it clean—Seriously, I cannot emphasize11. emphasize: 强调。how many horror stories I have heard about dirty roommates. Hair in the shower, toothpaste gelled12. gel: 胶化，成胶状。to the sink, bathrooms littered with magazines or dirty clothes. It’s gross13. gross: 令人恶心的。. Respect means keeping your side of the room clean. Now, I’ll admit, I’m a rather messy person. I don’t like picking up my clothes, the concept of drawers, or making my bed. But at least once a week, I pick all of my stuff up off the ground and make my side of the room clean again. It’s a good habit to get into and it will make you a better roommate. And hopefully, if your roommate sees you keeping your side clean, they’ll be more inclined to14. be inclined to: 倾向，易于。keep theirs clean.

Keep your hands off their stuff—Respecting your roommate means respecting their stuff. I already told you my former roommate used my makeup, usually without asking. Just don’t do it, especially with personal items like brushes and stuff like that. It’s gross. If you really need to borrow something of theirs, always, always ask before you do. If they say no, don’t get offended. Some people just don’t like other people using their stuff. This goes especially for food. It’s super annoying to open the fridge and see that your lunch that you planned to eat is now gone. If you eat your roommate’s food, it is absolutely your responsibility to replace it.15. 如果你吃了室友的食物，那你绝对有义务再去买些回来。

Set Ground Rules16. ground rule: 基本法则。

Now that we’ve reviewed what it means to respect each other, you and your roommate should also establish some ground rules. It may sound a little Type-A personality17. Type-A personality: 现代医学心理学根据人的性格和心理素质将性格分为A、B、C三种类型。A型性格的人争强好胜，容易急躁，不善克制。, but it’s really just better to set up what each of your pet peeves are before the year gets rolling.18. 这听起来有些像A型性格的人会做出的事情，不过，真的最好在一开始就了解什么是彼此不能忍受的事情。pet peeve: 不能忍受的事，经常抱怨的问题；get rolling: 开始。For instance, I really don’t like it when people have phone conversations in the room while I’m studying. I don’t multitask very well, and I’d rather be writing my paper on Roman gladiators than listening to you tell your best friend about your raging weekend.19. multitask: 同时处理多任务；Roman gladiator: 罗马角斗士，是经过训练的职业杀手，为取悦当地领主而搏杀；raging: 使人痛苦的。Here is a list of things that you and your roommate should touch on as far as ground rules go:

Talking on the phone—inside the room, outside the room, on the balcony, in the closet, whatever.20. balcony: 阳台；closet: 小房间。Make a compromise, but the tie should go to the person studying.

Smoking—This Is So Important. If you have a balcony, establish if it’s okay for the smoker to smoke on the balcony. Be careful if you agree to smoking on the balcony or you could end up with your roommate’s chain smoking friends living out on your balcony. I don’t think smoking is allowed in any dorm room, but make sure to set your expectations early.

Cleaning—Discuss duties for cleaning and whose job it is to do what. Dividing responsibilities of cleaning will make keeping your room cleaner and it will help ease roommate tensions if you both pitch in.21. tension: 紧张气氛；pitch in:投入，出一份力。Taking out the trash, tidying the room, buying toilet paper, and washing the sink are just a few things to consider.

When All Else Fails…

Sometimes, no matter how much you do, your roommate will still drive you crazy. When respecting,cleaning, and ground rules don’t get you where you want in your rooming situation, all is not lost, even if it seems like it. There’s still a certain amount of damage control that you can do.

Deal with it—There are just some things that you are going to have to get used to when living with another person. Sometimes, you just need to suck it up22. suck it up: 忍受。and deal with it. For the most part, the things that annoy you are minor things that you can put up with23. put up with: 容忍。for just one year. If you have trouble keeping your annoyances under control, remember this quote from Robert Anton Wilson: “You are precisely as big as what you love and precisely as small as what you allow to annoy you.”24. annoyance: 烦恼；Robert Anton Wilson:罗伯特·安东·威尔逊，美国小说家。

Talk to your roommate—Sit down and have a conversation with your roommate about the key things that really irritate25. irritate: 激怒。you about the situation.Maybe he snores26. snore: 打鼾。. Maybe she keeps the TV on while you do homework.Whatever it is, don’t yell and don’t accuse. Be calm and friendly and simply explain your situation. Focus on the big aspects. If you start nitpicking or start getting mean,27. nitpick: 挑剔，找茬；mean: 刻薄的。the situation will get out of control, nothing will get solved, and you’ll both be angry. Also, if you’re going to talk to your roommate about issues you have with them, you need to be able to take the issues that they might have with you. Be flexible and willing to compromise.

Talk to your RA—Do not do this before you talk to your roommate. Going above your roommate’s head is inconsiderate. You are big boys and girls now.You can work your problems out by yourselves. However, if you’ve talked to your roommate and something is still really causing a big disagreement between you and you roommate, you might need to get an outside party involved. If the situation really is irreconcilable28. irreconcilable: 不能调解的。, there is usually a process that will transfer you to a different room with a different roommate.

Get out of your room—This is probably the simplest of all solutions. When your roommate is in your room and doing something irritating, just leave the room. Go to the library or a campus computer lab if you need to study. Go to a friend’s room if you just need somewhere else to escape. Getting out of your room is good for you anyways, and some time away from your roommate will help keep tensions from getting too high.