短文写作

沈丽君

湖北卷的短文写作要求同学们根据英文提示，结合生活中的一个事例，写一篇话题作文。这种“开放式”的论述文的命题形式给同学们很大的自由发挥空间，对写作的布局谋篇提出了较高要求，要求同学们既要发表观点，又要描写叙述。

请根据以下提示，并结合具体事例，用英语写一篇短文。

Honesty is a kind of courage and responsibility.Honesty wins trust， respect and friendship.

注意：①无须写标题；

②除诗歌外，文体不限；

③内容必须结合你生活中的具体事例；

④文中不得透漏个人姓名和学校名称；

⑤词数不少于120，如引用提示语则不计入总词数。

【审题谋篇】

一、读提示语，锁定写作话题

英文提示语其实是让同学们在英文语境中选择一个恰如其分的话题，所以读提示语，选择合适的话题是写作的关键。本文提示语意为：诚实是一种勇气和责任，它能为我们赢得信任，尊重和友谊。

二、谋篇布局，拟定提纲

湖北高考英语短文写作多采用三段式结构，即引言（introduction）——主体（body）——结尾（conclusion）。第一段提出话题——诚实是一种美德，也是责任，它能在生活中为我们赢得他人的信任和友谊；第二段主体部分用言简意赅的语言叙述一个自己生活中遇到的与诚实有关的小事；第三段写这个经历给自己的体会和启示，回归主题——诚实在生活中很重要。

习作一

Its generally accepted that honesty is a great virtue.Honesty makes people accepted and trusted by others， which is of great importance in our society. I learned it from my own experience.

One afternoon， I borrowed a dictionary from my best friend Bob. That was his favorite birthday gift from his uncle， which he lent to me without a second thought. But a few days later， I left the dictionary on the bus by accident. What should I do to face my generous friend？ At the beginning， I tried to find some excuses for my fault. However， I was not a good story maker. Having hesitated for a week， I chose to face my friend honestly. Taking up my courage， I apologized to him and told him the event. “Well，” he said. “Im a bit upset but Im happy that you can tell me the truth. I know my closest friend wont lie to me. Though I have lost my book， I still keep a true friend.” It was my frankness and honesty that helped me to be trusted by my friend.

Small as the thing was， it impressed on me that honesty is an important quality， which should deeply root in everyones heart. Only when we get along with others heart to heart can we be trusted and respected in life.

点评 本文是一篇高分作文，有以下优点：

1. 首尾关于honesty的主题清楚明确；生活事例叙述完整生动，紧扣了主题，中心突出；

2. 恰当使用了语句间的连接成分，结构紧凑，语言表达流畅自然；

3. 文中运用了丰富的高级词汇及短语。例如virtue， fault， generous， frankness， its generally accepted that，be of great importance， without a second thought， by accident， take up ones courage， story maker， impressed sth on sb； root in ones heart.

4. 多样化的高级句型：

Honesty makes people accepted and trusted by others， which is of great importance in our society. （非限制性定语从句）

That was his favorite birthday gift from his uncle， which he lent to me without a second thought. （非限制性定语从句）endprint

Having hesitated for a week， I chose to face my friend honestly. Taking up my courage， I apologized to him and told him the event. （非谓语动词，分词完成式在句中做状语）

It was my frankness and honesty that helped me to be trusted by my friend. （强调句）

Small as the thing was， it impressed on me that honesty is an important quality， which should deeply root in everyones heart. （as引导的让步状语从句的倒装）

Only when we get along with others heart to heart can we be trusted and respected in life. （倒装句）

习作二

In mordern society， honesty had gradually played an important role and also helped people to accomplish their own dreams.

As for me， honesty is a kind of energy to motivate me to study hard， because it can prove my ture level. For example， when we take part in the exam， everybody is ready to go through this “war”； if someone cheats in this exam， it is not good for student who often bury themselves in studying.

So honesty is not only good for those who work in the big company， but also helps students to study better like me. On the one hand， it can give people some good impression； On the other hand， when you enter some company which are famous in the world， they must watch over your actions whatever you have done.

So bear this in mind， honesty is becoming more and more important all over the world.

点评 这是一篇中档习作，其优点是：

1. 内容切题，首尾呼应，主题明确，语言表达清楚流畅。

2. 运用了一些好的词汇和短语。如play an important role， accomplish ones dreams， as for sb， motivate sb to do sth， go through， bury oneself in， on the one hand， on the other hand， give sb good impressions， watch over， bear sth in mind.

3. 运用了一些高级句式。比如以下三个定语从句：

If someone cheats in this exam， it is not good for students who often bury themselves in studying.

So honesty is not only good for those who work in the big company， but also helps students to study better like me.

On the other hand， when you enter some companies which are famous in the world， they must watch over your actions whatever you have done.

不足之处：

1. 单词拼写错误：mordern-modern，ture-true

2. 名词的单复数有误：student-students，impression-impressions，company-companies

3.文章的段落有点多；第二，三两段中所谈及的事例不够典型，表达不够简练，从而显得层次不够清晰。

【拓展语料】

Honesty is not only the best policy， it is rare enough today to make you pleasantly conspicuous.

—Charlie Brower

There is always a way to be honest without being brutal.

—Arthur Dobrin

Of all the feats of skill， the most difficult is that of being honest.

—Marie de Beausacq

Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.

—Thomas Jeffersonendprint