孙犁
Most of the attention on domestic violence is on the violence perpetrated by the husband towards the wife. It seems that little attention is paid on the infliction of domestic violence on children. Domestic violence on children should not be neglected.
Domestic violence on children is everywhere. A survey carried out in 2013 by Liu Yilu, an educator, among 1000 college students showed that 56% of the students had been beaten by their parents. According to a TV program in CCTV, many girls are asked to do the heavy housework even in their early ages and were often hit by their parents, some of whom were even tortured to death. On 25th, November, 2013, a video was released on the internet showing that a nine-year-old girl cruelly beat a three-year-old boy in the elevator and then took him to her home and hit him again and finally shoved him out of the balcony. After that she drugs the little boys body to the grass to avoid other people finding it. Why does so much violence towards children occur? There are 3 different reasons: traditional value, parents large pressure from works and the law does not prevent the domestic violence on children.
The first reason of domestic violence on children originates from the traditional values. There are two sayings that “spare the rod, spoils the child” and “boys are better than girls.” When children go against their parents will, they hit them. For those parents, hitting children when they do not obey is the best way to educate them. Corporal punishment could also been seen in schools. It has long been a tradition to treat students this way. I remember: when I was in my primary school, 4 students were asked to write out the words we had learned the day before on the blackboard, including me. Those who failed to write out all the words correctly would be cracked on the hand with a ruler. I wrote out the 3 words out of 4, with only one missed. Consequently, I was hit several times on my palm. Just the very moment I got down from the platform the word I missed---came to my mind and I think I will never forget it.
Schools in those days were horrible places. Students there were forced to learn under the pressure of violence. Still violence is going on at school, just in different forms. I recently listened to a piece of news said that a child was late for class because he had gone out to empty the trash. After he came back to the class and asked whether he could come in, the teachers answer was that since you like dumping so much, then you should dump all the trash in the classroom for the coming week. The student was so sad that he committed suicide by jumping out a window from the building. This kind of thing is not a single incident. Nearly in every school, there are students committing suicide for this or that kind of violence.
The second reason for domestic violence on children is from parents. More pressure is loaded on peoples mind: the rise in prices is far larger than rise in peoples wages and Chinese pension benefits is far from perfect. When parents are home from work, they feel tired; full of stress. To make things worse, some of them are suffering from excessive drinking, gambling and drug taking. When something goes wrong with parents, they vent their anger onto their children.
It is really important for us to break up the traditional value that domestic violence can help to educate children. We should set up a right one instead that to let students learn from their own mistakes in a kind attitude is a better way than to implement violence on children to educate them. It is also necessary for parents to have a good educational background. A survey carried by Lin Jiayi, an educator in 2008 shows that the probability of domestic violence is inversely proportional to the parents level of education. Children who are brought up in a harmonious environment would also be friendly towards others. Likewise children who grown up in the family with little love and domestic violence tend to repeat violence and every generation are suffered from domestic violence. If all the children were raised in a harmonious family, the unfortunate 3-year-old boys tragedy would not have happened.
Domestic violence should also be under the jurisdiction of the police in China. American police deal with domestic violence once they are informed, but that is not what happened in China. In China, when people dial 110 to call police for the reason of domestic violence, police would not come for they think it is family disputes. There is a saying goes that “even an upright official finds it hard to settle a family quarrels”, it is the reflection of Chinese peoples view towards domestic violence. You said that you are wondering why the police stood by did not stop the man from beating his wife, the reason maybe that it is a custom in China not to interfere in others family chores.
References:
[1]Liu Yilu.“Domestic Violence on Children.”Guang Ming Net.
[2]Yong Hui.23,June,2013.