希腊情浓时

Celine： Remember that letter that you let me read that you wrote when you were 20 to yourself at 40？

Jesse： Yes， I remember the first sentence： Dear 40-yearold Jesse， I hope youre not divorced.

Celine： No I did not even remember that part， I meant to all the other things in that letter. Youre the same guy. I mean， we always think that we are 1）evolving. But maybe we cant change that much.

Jesse： You know how I think Ive changed the most？

Celine： How？

Jesse： When I was younger I just wanted time to speed up.

Celine： Why？

Jesse： Well so I could be on my own， so I could be free from my parents and school and all that shit， you know， I just wanted to close my eyes and wake up and be an adult. And now I kinda feel that happened and I just want everything to slow down.

Celine： Its strange Ive always had this feeling no matter where I am in my life. That its either a memory or a dream.

Jesse： I know youve always thought that. Me too， I mean， its like is this really my life？ Like is it happening， right now？

Celine： It is.

Jesse： I know. Every year I just seem to get a little bit more 2）humbled and more overwhelmed about all the things Im never gonna know or understand.

Celine： Thats what I keep telling you： you know nothing.

Jesse： I know， I know！ Im coming around！

Celine： But not knowing is not so bad. I mean the point is to be looking， searching to stay hungry， right？

Jesse： Thats true. I just wish it was a little easier.

Celine： How do you mean？

Jesse： Just to maintain a certain level of passion， you know. I mean， it used to come so naturally. Remember when I was younger， me and all my writer friends. We like... we just felt like were doing something important. You know？ Like this was our time.

Celine： But they were all a bunch of 3）arrogant little 4）pricks， right？

Jesse： No！ Alright， maybe... I dunno...we just grew out of all this energy. You know， all this creativity or whatever ambitions people had. You know， I think you gotta be a little 5）deluded to stay motivated.

Celine： Young men have this thing about comparing themselves all the time. They have all these 6）signposts they judge themselves by. You used to do that all the time！

Jesse： Do what？ What do you mean？

Celine： Its like Rimaud wrote this by 17， Scott Fitzgerald did this by 30.

Jesse： And Balzac wrote a book before breakfast everyday. So what the hell am I doing？

Celine： Yeah， but women do not think that way as much.

Jesse： You dont think so？

Celine： We have much less to compare ourselves to， maybe. Most women who achieve anything in life the first time you hear about them， theyre in their 50s because it is was so hard for them to get any recognitions before then. They struggled for 30 years or they raised kids and were 7）stranded at home before they could finally do what they want. Actually you know what？ Its kind of freeing. We dont have to spend our lives comparing ourselves to Martin Luther King， Ghandi...Tolstoy.

Jesse： What about Joan of Arc， right？ I mean... she was a teenager and she saved France. So…

Celine： Who wants to be Joan of Arc？ OK. Forget France. OK？ Nothing I aspire to. What a great achievement！ Oh God...

Jesse： What？

Celine： No， nothing.

Jesse： What？

Celine： This is so weird.

Jesse： What do you mean？

Celine： Just this， us walking， having a conversation. About something else than scheduling， food， work.

Jesse： I mean how long has it been since we were wondering around bullshiting？

Celine： Do you hear what I hear？

Jesse： The sea？

Celine： No.

Jesse： What？ Oh！ No small feet. No…nothing being knocked over， nothing we have to clean up. No injustices being done.

Celine： Yeah， so when was the last time？

Jesse： When we had nowhere we had to be？

Celine： Yeah.

Jesse： Remember walking around the Luxembourg Gardens？

Celine： Yeah.

Jesse： I used to kick your ass in ping-pong on those concrete tables.

Celine： Congratulations！ You beat a woman pregnant with twins！ Such a gentleman！

Jesse： It is better than losing to a pregnant woman with twins！

Celine： Yeah.

Jesse： Okay？

Celine： Oh God.

Jesse： You know what I think？ I think its from the time we leave our parents house until we have kids， I mean， thats the only time that your life is completely your own. You know， I think I had about a decade of that， it was great， it was like…just like one long flowing， a day， a week， a year-there wasnt much difference.

Celine： No， I used to keep track of time. Through jobs and boyfriends and stuff like that. Now I can tell you every detail of the past seven years， OK， based on what was happening in the girls lives.

Jesse： Yeah...right... totally.

Celine： You do that too？

Jesse： Yeah， yeah， I mean time is 8）demarcated now.

Celine： Really？

Jesse： What？

Celine： No， no， no. Im just surprised you do that too. No but…OK... quick test.

Jesse： Oh no.

Celine： You know， August 2009. No， August its...come on！ Its a quick one. What was happening？

Jesse： August 2009， we were on vacation with your parents. Nina got the chickenpox first and quickly followed by Ella.

Celine： I am so impressed.

Jesse： So do I get a gold star？

Celine： Maybe.

赛琳：记得你让我读过你20岁的时候写给40岁的你的那封信吗？

杰西：记得，我还记得第一句是：亲爱的40岁的杰西，我希望你还没离婚。

赛琳：不，我甚至不记得有那段了，我说的是信里的其他内容。你还是一样，我是说，我们总是以为我们在变，但是我们可能变不了多少。

杰西：你知道我认为我最大的变化是什么吗？

赛琳：是什么？

杰西：我小时候就想时间过得快点。

赛琳：为什么？

杰西：因为这样我就可以独立，从父母、学校和那些狗屁事里解脱出来，你知道的，我想闭上眼，一觉醒来就长大成人。现在我感觉那些真正发生的时候，却想要时间过得慢些。

赛琳：很奇怪不管我在人生的哪个阶段都会有这样的感觉，在记忆中，或是在梦里。

杰西：我知道你总是会那么想，我也一样，就像是，这真的就是我的人生吗？现在正在发生吗？

赛琳：是啊。

杰西：我知道，每年我总要变得更谦逊一些，为周围那些从前不知道也从不理解的事情变得不知所措。

赛琳：那就是我一直告诉你的：你一无所知。

杰西：我知道，我知道！我不还是我吗？

赛琳：但是不知道也不是那么糟。我是说，关键是你得不断观察、探寻，求知若渴，对吗？

杰西：确实是，希望能容易一些。

赛琳：什么意思？

杰西：保持一定程度的激情，你知道的。我是说，以前这一切来得那么自然。记得年轻的时候，我和我全部的作家朋友，我们像……我们总想要大干一番。你知道吗？就像这是我们的时代。

赛琳：但是他们是一群傲慢自大的毛头小子，对吧？

杰西：不！好吧，或许是……我不知道……我们带着这股劲儿长大，这种创造力和人兼具有的雄心。我觉得你得有点妄想，才能保持热情。

赛琳：年轻小伙子就是喜欢一直和别人作比较。他们有判断自己的标准，你一直在这么做！

杰西：做什么？你说的是？

赛琳：像是兰波17岁就写了这个，司各特·菲茨格拉德30岁就做了这个。

杰西：巴尔扎克每天早餐之前写一本书。我究竟在干什么？

赛琳：是啊，但是女人不会那么想。杰西：你们不这么想？

赛琳：我们可能很少拿自己和别人作对比。大多数有成就的女性，当你第一次听到她们名字的时候，她们已经年过半百，因为在那之前他们想要得到认同是一件多么困难的事。在她们能做自己想做的事情之前，她们奋斗了30年，养育子女，留在家中。事实上你知道吗？那也是一种解脱，我们不用花费毕生时间将自己的人生和那些人比，比如马丁·路德·金，甘地……或是托尔斯泰。

杰西：圣女贞德呢？我的意思是……她年纪轻轻，拯救了法国，所以……

赛琳：谁想要做圣女贞德？别提法国了。好吗？没什么值得我崇拜的，这是什么伟大的贡献啊！噢，上帝……杰西：什么？

赛琳：不，没什么。

杰西：怎么了？

赛琳：感觉怪怪的。

杰西：什么意思？

赛琳：就这样，我们一起散步、闲聊，谈论除了那些安排、饮食、工作之外的事。

杰西：我是说，我们多久没这么闲聊了？

赛琳：你听到我听到的了吗？

杰西：海浪声？

赛琳：不是。

杰西：什么？哦！没有那些小脚步声。没有……没有东西被打翻，没有东西要收拾，没有不公平的事发生。

赛琳：是啊，上一次是什么时候？

杰西：漫无目的的闲逛？

赛琳：是啊。

杰西：记得我们在卢森堡花园闲逛吗？

赛琳：记得。

杰西：我们在混凝土球桌上打乒乓球，我把你打得落花流水。

赛琳：恭喜你了！你打败了一个怀着双胞胎的孕妇！多么绅士啊！

杰西：总好过输给一个怀着双胞胎的孕妇啊！

赛琳：是啊。

杰西：好吧？

赛琳：噢，天啊。

杰西：你知道我在想什么吗？我想，从我们离开父母的家（组建自己的家庭）直到孩子出世，我是说，那是段完全属于我们自己的独一无二的时光。我想我度过了十年之久，那很棒，像是很长一段时间，一天，一星期，一年，没什么太大的区别。

赛琳：不，我总是记录时间。那些工作啊、男朋友之类的事情。现在我可以告诉你过去七年我们的女孩生活中的点点滴滴。

杰西：是啊……对啊……完全可以。赛琳：你也那么做吗？

杰西：是啊，是啊，我是说时间是具有划分性的。

赛琳：真的吗？

杰西：什么？

赛琳：不，不，不。我很惊讶你也会记得。不，但是……好吧……快速问答。

杰西：噢，不是吧。

赛琳：你知道，2009年8月我们在干什么？不，快答我！这是快速问答。那时发生什么事了？

杰西：2009年8月我们和你父母度假，妮娜先得了疱疹，接着艾拉也得了。

赛琳：真让我刮目相看。

杰西：所以我可以得到一颗金星吗？

赛琳：或许吧。