舞会囧事

And now Im gonna take you into my high school awkward story. So， like I said， I was very 1）anti-social， but we had dances， and I would probably skip every other dance. Id probably go to one and not go to the next. This one dance in particular—I dont know what year of high school it was； maybe it was like sophomore or junior year. I liked this girl， and I wanted to ask her to the dance. So I， like， wrote her a little 2）jingle and put it on a CD and gave it to her and asked her to go to the dance with me. Shes， like， “Yeah， Id love to.”

So the week goes by， and the night of the dance comes， I pick up my 3）date， we go to the dance， everythings going fine， we get there， and then its time for us to actually dance. I dont know about you， but Im a pretty good dancer—I cant say this with a straight face. So I started dancin with her. Were， like， doin our thing， and its going well. Then， about 30 seconds later she， like， walks over there， and， like， leaves me， and Im， like， “What？” I cant handle this. So I danced on over to her， and Im backin up next to her， Im， like， “Hey， whats up？ You left.” She doesnt say anything. She kinda dances for a second， and she goes back over there. Im， like， “What the heck， Im a good dancer.” So I do my thing. Now were back over here where we started， which makes no sense to me， but were dancin. And， no lie， it happens again， and I watch her go back. And at this point Im startin to take a hint， so Im just dancin by myself. I know I look good—not really. And so I let her go that time， and I didnt see her for the rest of the dance.

So the part of the story where it gets really awkward is the Monday following the dance at school. I remember it was lunch time， and Im walkin through the cafeteria about to get my food， and I overhear this group of girls saying my name. They cant see me cause Im， like， kind of around a corner when I pass them， and I could hear them talkin about me. And Ill never forget， one of the girls in the group was my date， and I remember hearing one of them say， “Man， Landon was so awkward at the dance，” and Im thinkin to myself“Yeah， that sounds about right，” and so I turned the corner right where they could see me， and I was， like，“Hey， I heard that. Ill see yall later，” and I walked off， and Ill never forget the look on their faces. They were， like， shocked.

现在我要给你们讲一件我高中时的糗事。刚才说了，我是个很不合群的人，不过学校会开些舞会，我也隔三岔五地去一下，这场去了，下场就逃掉。我要说的这场舞会不记得是哪个学年的了，好像是高二还是高三吧。那时我喜欢上一个女孩，想邀请她一起去舞会。所以我就给她写了首小歌，录在一张光盘上送给她，问她能不能跟我一起去舞会。她说：“好啊，乐意得很。”

一个星期就这么过了，到了舞会那晚，我接了她一起过去，一切都很顺利。我们到了那儿，两个人就要开始跳舞了。不知道你怎么样，反正我的舞跳得蛮不错的——我没法一本正经地说出这句话。然后我就开始跟她跳舞。我们就在那儿跳着，一切都很正常。然后，大概过了30秒吧，她走到那边去了，离开了我。我心想：“怎么回事儿？”我一下子懵了。然后我就边跳边靠近她，到了她身边，我问她：“嘿，怎么啦？你干嘛走开了？”她啥都没说，跳了两下，又走回去了。我心想：“搞什么鬼啊，我的舞跳得这么棒。”所以我就这么跳着。这时候我们回到了开始时跳的地方，我搞不明白为什么，我们又跳起来。然后，不骗你，又来了，我看着她走回刚才那里。这时候我开始明白了，所以我就一个人在那儿跳。我知道我看起来不错——其实不是。这次我就让她走了，一直到舞会完了都没有再见到她。

这还不算什么，真正窘的是接下来那个周一在学校发生的事。我记得是午餐时间吧，我在饭堂里走着，正要去拿吃的，无意中听到一群女生在说我的名字。我刚好在拐角的地方路过，所以她们没有看到我，但我能听到她们说的话，真是让我永生难忘啊。其中一个女生就是我的约会对象，我记得她们中有个人说：“天哪，兰登那天在舞会上真是糟透了。”我对自己说：“嗯，听起来好像还真是这么回事。”然后我就走过拐角，让她们看到我。我跟她们说：“嘿，我都听到了哦。等下见。”说完我就走了。我永远都忘不了她们脸上那个表情——不折不扣的“惊呆了”。