笑话两则

A little kid gets on a city bus， sits right behind the driver， and starts talking loudly，

“If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow， Id be a little bull.”

The driver gets annoyed as the kid continues to yammer[嘟囔道] on.

“If my dad was a rooster and my mom a hen， I would be a little chick.”

The kid goes on and on with all the animals he knows， when finally， the bus driver yells，

“What if your dad was a bum[流浪汉] and your mom was a drunk[酒鬼]？”

The kid smiles and says， “Id be a bus driver.”

小提示

该笑话中的小屁孩使用了以if引导的虚拟语气，但这并不是规范的语法。在表示与事实相反的情况时，if引导的从句里的be动词应为were，主句则用should、would、could或者might加动词原形，例如：

If I were you， I wouldnt worry about it. （如果我是你，我就不会对此担心。）

Getting Forgetful[健忘的] 健忘症

Three old ladies sit in a diner， discussing their health.

One lady says， “You know， Im getting really forgetful. This morning， I was standing at the top of the stairs， and I couldnt remember whether I had just come up or was about to[将要] go down.”

The second lady says， “You think thats bad？ The other day， I was sitting on the edge of my bed， and I couldnt remember whether I was going to sleep or had just woken up！”

The third lady smiles smugly[得意洋洋]. “Well， my memory is just as good as its always been， knock on wood，” she says as she raps[唠叨] on the table. Then with a startled[感到惊讶的] look on her face， she asks， “Whos there？”

小提示

knock on wood是美式英语中常用的习语，对应的英式英语是touch wood，意为敲敲木头（人们认为触碰木头可以带来好运），例如：

Knock on wood. I havent missed one days work.（谢天谢地，我工作从未缺勤过。）

I almost got bitten by a dog. Knock on wood.（我差点就被狗咬了，真是好险。）