中考英语满分作文解析及点评

湖北省武汉市 吕芸 供稿

2009年武汉中考作文题：

为了使同学们与人交往时举止更加文雅，你校学生会正在举办以“How to be have well?”为主题的英语征文比赛，请你写一篇短文。(以上背景内容无需表述)

短文要点如下：

1.学生应该守时，守信，不撒谎，不说脏话；

2.礼貌待人，热心助人；

3.遵守交通规则；不在公共场所喧哗，不乱扔垃圾；

4.请你就此话题再补充一至两点个人看法。

要求：

1.不要逐词翻译。

2.在文中不要提及真实的校名和姓名。

3.词数60一80左右。短文首句已给出，不计入词数。

参考词汇：

dirty adj.obey v.promise n.

Behaving well is the secret of getting on well with others.

满分文展示1

Behaving well is the secret of getting on well with others.Then how can we students behave well?First，we are supposed to do everything on time and keep promise.That is to say,we should never tell lies.Second，be kind to others and help those in need.Third,we’d better not talk loudly in public.It’s not good manners to throw rubbish about.Last,I think we should respect the old and care about the young.

名师点评：

作者以简洁流畅的语言将写作要点所列各条以 first，second，third，last等词一一道出，文章脉络清晰。祈使句，We’d better..，It’s...等不同句式的交替使用，让读者读来感到清新自然。最后作者所发表的观点与How to behave well?这一主题吻合，并进一步突出了这一主题。

满分文展示2

Behaving well is the secret of getting on well with others.All of us students ought to do everything on time and keep promises.Remember that lying to others or saying dirty words is a bad behaviour.What’s more，it’s important to be polite to others and be willing to help people who arc in trouble.Never should we throw litter about or speak loud in public.Obeying traffic rules and waiting in line should be remembered.In addition，in my opinion,we should do what we can for our class and our school.

名师点评：

该文的几大亮点：1.精彩的句式。作者用了祈使句、It’s+adj.+to do..句式、动词-ing 形式作主语、倒装句等。2.恰当的连接词，如what’s more，in addifion，in my opinion等。3.观点鲜明。作者发表了作为学生应该尽可能性地为班级和学校做事，切中主题，且观点有其独到之处。综上所述，该文亮点纷呈，被评为满分作文名符其实。

附：标准范文

Behaving well is the secret of getting on well with others.As a student，I think it’s very important to do everything on time and keep promises.Never lie to others or say dirty words.We should be polite to others and ready to help people in need.We’d berter not talk loudly in public.Don’t throw litter or spit about.And remember to obey traffic rules.

Finally，learn to work with others.We need good teamwork in our life.