Ｊｏｋｅｓ ａｎｄ Ｈｕｍｏｒ

李春银／编译

Impolite

My sister， a primary school teacher， was informed by one of her young pupils that a bird had built a nest in the tree outside the classroom.

“What kind of bird？” my sister inquired.

“I didnt see the bird， maam， only the nest，” answered the child.

“Well，” said my sister， “what does the nest look like？”

The child studied her innocently for a moment， and then replied：

“Like your hair， maam， except that it has more sticks.”

无礼

我妹妹是个小学教师。一次，一个学生告诉她有只鸟在他们教室外边的树上筑了个巢。

“什么样的鸟？”我妹妹问。

“我没看见鸟，我只看到了一个巢。”那小孩回答。

我妹妹接着问：“那巢是什么样子的？”

那小孩天真地望了我妹妹一会儿，然后说：“巢上除了多了几根小棍棍以外，和你的头发几乎完全一样。”

What Would You Do？

Son： Mom， if someone broke your best vase， what would you do？

Mum： Id spank him and send him to bed without any supper！

Son： Well， youd better get the slippers. Dad has just broken it！

你会怎么办？

儿子：妈妈，如果有人打碎了你最好的花瓶，你会怎么办？

妈妈：我要打他的屁股，还让他不吃晚饭就去睡觉！

儿子：好了，你准备好拖鞋吧，爸爸刚把那只花瓶打碎了。

When Do People Talk Least？

Student A： When do people talk least？

Student B： In February.

Student A： Why？

Student B： Because February is the shortest month of a year.

人们什么时候说话最少？

学生甲：人们什么时候说话最少？

学生乙：二月。

学生甲：为什么呢？

学生乙：因为二月是一年中最短的一个月。

The Plural Form of “Child”

Teacher： Tom， What is the plural of man， Tom？

Tom： Men.

Teacher： Good. And the plural of child？

Tom： Twins.

“孩子”的复数形式

老师：汤姆，“男人”这个词的复数形式是什么？

汤姆：男人们。

老师：答得好。那“孩子”的复数形式呢？

汤姆：双胞胎。

WOOL

Teacher： What do we get from sheep？

Boy： Wool.

Teacher： You are quite right. And what do we make from wool？

Boy： I dont know.

Teacher： Well， whats your sweater made of？

Boy：My coat was made from my fathers old sweater.

羊毛

教师：我们从羊身上能得到些什么呢？

男孩：羊毛。

教师：你说得非常对。那么我们又拿羊毛做什么呢？

男孩：我不知道。

教师：嗯，那么你的毛衣是用什么做的？

男孩：我的毛衣是用我爸爸的旧毛衣改的。

Like Father， Like Son

Once a grandfather beat his grandson for playing with fire in the courtyard. The boys father saw this and got worried about him. So the father took a stick and began beating himself. The grandfather was surprised and asked， “Why are you beating yourself？” “You are beating my son and Im beating your son，” the boys father answered.

有其父必有其子

一次，一个小男孩因为玩火被他爷爷打了一顿。小男孩的父亲看到后很心疼自己的儿子，于是，他就拿起一根棍子开始打自己。男孩的爷爷见到后很不理解，便问道：“你为什么要打自己呢？”男孩的父亲回答道：“因为你打了我儿子，所以我也要打你儿子。”

The Results of a Promise

Father： I promise to buy you a car if you passed your examination， but you have failed. What were you doing last term？

Son： I was learning to drive a car.

许诺的结果

父亲：我答应过你，如果你考试及格的话，就给你买一辆汽车，可是你却没考及格。你上学期都干什么了？

儿子：我在学开汽车。

NOUNS

Teacher： A noun is the name of a thing. Who can give me a noun？

First boy： A cow.

Teacher： Very good. Another noun？

Second boy： Another cow.

名词

教师：名词是一个东西的名称。谁能说出一个名词？

第一个男孩：一头母牛。

教师：很好。谁能再说一个名词？

第二个男孩：另一头母牛。