荆 棘
下面我们对一些在英语写作中典型的病句实例逐一加以剖析。
一、不一致(Disagreements)
所谓不一致不光指主谓不一致,它还包括数的不一致、时态不一致及代词不一致等。例如:
When one have money, he can do what he wants to.
人一旦有了钱,他就能想干什么就干什么。
剖析:one是单数第三人称,因而本句的have应改为has;同理,want应改为wants。本句是典型的主谓不一致。
改为:Once one has money, he can do what he wants (to do).
二、修饰语错位(Misplaced Modifiers)
英语与汉语不同,同一个修饰语置于句子不同的位置,句子的含义可能引起变化。对于这一点中国学生往往没有引起足够的重视,因而造成了不必要的误解。例如:
I believe I can do it well and I will better know the world outside the campus.
剖析:better位置不当,应置于句末。
三、句子不完整(Sentence Fragments)
在口语中,交际双方可借助手势、语气、上下文等,不完整的句子完全可以被理解。可是书面语就不同了,句子结构不完整会令意思表达不清,这种情况常常发生在主句写完以后,笔者又想加些补充说明时发生。例如:
There are many ways to know the society. For example by TV, radio, newspaper and so on.
剖析:本句后半部分“for example by TV, radio, newspaper and so on.”不是一个完整的句子,仅为一些不连贯的词语,不能独立成句。
改为:There are many ways to know the society, for example, by TV, radio, and newspaper.
四、悬垂修饰语(Dangling Modifiers)
所谓悬垂修饰语是指句首的短语与后面句子的逻辑关系混乱不清。例如:
At the age of ten, my grandfather died.
这句中“at the age of ten”只点出十岁时。但没有说明“谁”十岁时,按一般推理不可能是my grandfather, 如果我们把这个悬垂修饰语改明确一点,全句就不那么费解了。
改为:When I was ten, my grandfather died.
例如: To do well in college, good grades are essential.
剖析:句中不定式短语“to do well in college”的逻辑主语不清楚。
改为:To do well in college, a student needs good grades.
五、词性误用(Misuse of Parts of Speech)
“词性误用”常表现为:介词当动词用;形容词当副词用;名词当动词用等。
例如:None can negative the importance of money.
剖析:negative 系形容词,误作动词。
改为:None can deny the importance of money.
六、指代不清(Ambiguous Reference of Pronouns)
指代不清主要讲的是代词与被指代的人或物关系不清,或者前后所用的代词不一致。试看下面这一句:
Mary was friendly to my sister because she wanted her to be her bridesmaid. 玛丽对我姐姐很好,因为她要她做她的伴娘。
读完上面这一句话,读者无法明确地判断两位姑娘中谁将结婚,谁将当伴娘。如果我们把易于引起误解的代词的所指对象加以明确,意思就一目了然了。这个句子可改为:
Mary was friendly to my sister because she wanted my sister to be her bridesmaid.
例如:And we can also know the society by serving it yourself.
剖析:句中人称代词we 和反身代词yourself指代不一致。
改为:We can also know the society by serving it ourselves.
七、不间断句子(Run-on Sentences)
什么叫run-on sentence?请看下面的例句。
There are many ways we get to know the outside world.
剖析:这个句子包含了两层完整的意思:“There are many ways.” 以及“We get to know the outside world.”。简单地把它们连在一起就不妥当了。
改为:There are many ways for us to learn about the outside world. 或:
There are many ways through which we can become acquainted with the outside world.
八、措词毛病(Troubles in Diction)
Diction是指在特定的句子中如何适当地选用词语的问题,由于教学时间紧迫,教师平时在这方面花的时间往往极其有限,使学生中没有养成良好的推敲,斟酌的写作习惯。他们往往随心所欲,拿来就用。所以作文中用词不当的错误比比皆是。例如:
The increasing use of chemical obstacles in agriculture also makes pollution. 农业方面化学物质使用的不断增加也造成了污染。
剖析:显然,考生把obstacles“障碍”,“障碍物”误作substance“物质”了。另外“the increasing use (不断增加的使用)” 应改为“abusive use (滥用)”。
改为:The abusive use of chemical substances in agriculture also causes/leads to pollution.
九、累赘(Redundancy)
言以简洁为贵。写句子没有一个多余的词;写段落没有一个无必要的句子。能用单词的不用词组;能用词组的不用从句或句子。如:
In spite of the fact that he is lazy, I like him.
本句的“the fact that he is lazy”系同位语从句,我们按照上述“能用词组的不用从句”可以改为:In spite of his laziness, I like him.
又如: For the people who are diligent and kind, money is just the thing to be used to buy the thing they need.
剖析:整个句子可以大大简化。
改为:Diligent, caring people use money only to buy what they need.
十、不连贯(Incoherence)
不连贯是指一个句子前言不对后语,或是结构上不畅通。这也是考生常犯的毛病。例如:
The fresh water, it is the most important things of the earth.
剖析:The fresh water与逗号后的it不连贯。it与things在数方面不一致。
改为:Fresh water is the most important thing in the world.
十一、综合性语言错误(Comprehensive Misusage)
所谓“综合性语言错误”,是指除了上述十种错误以外,还有诸如时态,语态,标点符号,大小写等方面的错误。例如:
Today, Money to everybody is very importance, ours eat, cloth, live, go.