An Unusual Trip

本期点评名师

陈传光 男，江苏省连云港市罗阳中学高级教师、连云港市优秀教育园丁、江苏省教育学会会员，从事教育教学工作多年；曾获英语教研能力大赛区一等奖、英语专业技能大赛市一等奖、班主任基本功大赛市一等奖；有多篇论文在各核心和主流期刊上发表；曾指导学生在各类竞赛中取得不错的成绩，有多人获得地市级奖和省级奖。

An Unusual Trip

Last Saturday， John， Mike and I went on a hike. It was sunny. We had agood time there.

Soon it was time to go back home and we were tired. We began to walkback. It was completely dark and we got lost. Suddenly， Mike had a fall and hurt her①leg. We helped him to walk slowly. We were cold and hungry. Luckily wesaw a light not far away. It was a small house！ We knocked at the door and anold man came out. He invited us to stay for the night. The next morning， with thehelp of the old man’s son， we went back home safe②.

It was an unusual trip， and we were grateful for③the kind old man and his son.

江苏省连云港市罗阳中学 陈立玉

点评

优点：

小作者先介绍旅行中所发生的事情，之后，表达旅行后的感受。文章用词得当，条理清晰，是一篇不错的学生习作。

需要修改的地方：

①her 改为his。代指Mike（男性），要使用his。

②safe 改为safely。修饰动词短语went back home，要使用副词safely。

③for 改为to。be grateful to sb.意为“感激某人”。

评分

院按江苏省连云港市中考英语作文满分25 分的评分标准，本文修改前可得22分。