立足文本解读，实现语言协同

广东 张湾湾

【问题导读】

读后续写作为高考英语中的一种新题型，将语言的输入和输出紧密结合在一起。它要求续写内容与原文保持逻辑衔接上的合理性和语言风格上的一致性。因此，续写时除了要考虑故事的主题思想和逻辑关系之外，还需要高度关注续写内容和原文的语言风格，确保续写内容在语言风格上与原文保持一致。考生的续写有时会存在与原文割裂的情况，这是因为考生不注意原文用词和句子的风格，随心所欲，从而导致续写内容和原文语言风格偏离，不能很好地与原文保持语言风格的协同。为避免这种情况，考生需要在续写前充分地解读原文，从叙事风格、词汇、句式、表现手法、修辞手法等着眼，对原文的语言特点进行分析。续写的段落只有尽可能多维度地模仿、体现这些语言特点，才能输出与原文高度协同、浑然一体的佳作。

【名师导学】

读后续写任务中存在协同效应，该效应主要来自理解和产出的紧密结合。读后续写中的语言协同是指在续写中运用原文中的词表达自己思想的语言现象。因此我们在续写过程中，应当通过不断参照和回顾原文，自觉或不自觉地模仿和运用其中的一些表达，扫清表达障碍，强化续写语言与原文语言的协同。

在续写过程中，应当立足文本解读，在理解文章主旨和思想的基础上，注重对原文语言风格的分析与模仿，高度关注续写内容和原文的语言风格。这样，续写内容与原文的融合度才会更高，协同作用也才会更大。

【案例导引】

阅读下面短文，准确地把握住原文的基本情节走向和语言风格，在保持整体一致的前提下续写原文，使之构成一个完整的故事。

It took place in a teacher's family.One day,Ben was playing basketball in the living room after school,when he accidentally threw the ball at a vase sitting on the shelf.The vase dropped to the floor and a large piece broke off.What made Ben more upset was that the vase was not a common decoration but an antique,which was handed down through generations from the 18th century.It was also his mother's favourite possession.To cover his terrible action,the terrified boy glued the pieces together hastily and put the vase back to its place.

As the mother herself dusted the vase every day,she naturally noticed the cracks (裂纹) that evening.To her surprise,the repair work was actually very good.At dinner time,she asked her boy if he broke the vase.Fearing punishment,the suddenly inspired boy said that a neighbour's cat jumped in from the window and he couldn't drive it away no matter how hard he tried.It raced around the living room and finally knocked the vase off its shelf.His mother was quite clear that her son was lying,for all the windows were closed before she left for work each morning and opened after she returned.However,in the face of her son's nervous eyes and the suspicious looks of the other family members,Ben's mother remained calm.She realized she shouldn't just simply blame and punish her son for lying.She came up with another idea.

Before going to bed,the boy found a note from his mother in his room,asking him to go to the study at once.The boy thought he would be punished but,as he had already lied,he was determined to deny everything to the end,no matter how angry his mum became.

In the study,calmly bathed in the light,his mother's face showed no sign of anger.On seeing her son push open the door and cautiously enter,she took a chocolate box out of a drawer and gave him one.

注意：续写词数应为150左右。

Paragraph 1:

The mother said,“This chocolate is a reward for your imagination: a window-opening cat!”_____________________________________________________________________

Paragraph 2:

Now with some chocolates in hand,the boy's bad attitude disappeared.___________________________________________________________________________________

文本解读

一、原文分析

（续表）

二、原文主题

本文的主题语境为人与自我。本不小心打碎了妈妈心爱的花瓶，他害怕受到惩罚，便跟妈妈撒谎说是一只猫打碎的。妈妈虽然看穿了他的谎言，但为了保护孩子的自尊心，决定把他叫到书房用巧妙的方式进行教育。故事的主题是“诚实不说谎，敢于直面自己的错误”。

三、原文脉络

四、细品原文，找出语言协同点

1.原文中关于本和他妈妈的描写

（续表）

2.原文中的重点词汇和句法结构

（续表）

五、基于语言协同，研读首句构思情节发展

根据该故事的情节发展脉络，我们可以分析一下故事的情节走向。

故事的开端：本不小心打碎了妈妈心爱的祖传花瓶，为了掩盖自己犯的错，他急忙把花瓶的碎片粘回去并把花瓶放回了原处。

故事的发展：本的妈妈发现了花瓶上的裂纹，便问本是不是他打碎的。

问题的出现：由于担心受到惩罚，本便撒谎，说是一只猫打碎了花瓶。

问题的解决：本的妈妈在他的房间留下了纸条，让他立马去书房一趟。

结合续写段落所给出的首句可以推测出故事的结局：通过和妈妈谈心，本逐渐认识到了自己的错误并勇敢地向妈妈承认是自己打碎了花瓶。

续写第一段展开语言和动作描写细节时，可以结合原文语言协同点尝试回答以下问题：

（1）How did Ben feel upon hearing his mother's words? Nervous? Surprised? Embarrassed?

（2）What should we write in paragraph 1 to show Ben's“bad attitude”mentioned in paragraph 2?

（3）Why did Ben have some chocolates in his hand in paragraph 2? What other rewards might be mentioned in paragraph 1?

根据以上问题和给出的段首句内容——“这块巧克力糖是对你想象力的奖励：一只会开窗的猫！”，续写第一段的具体情节可以这样安排：本一开始仍然试图撒谎，到后来一点点卸下防备。妈妈找了几个理由来奖励本巧克力糖，一步步戳穿他的谎言但又巧妙地维护了孩子的自尊，让他放下恐惧。具体情节的设计应该以妈妈的奖励理由和孩子的内心活动变化为主。

续写第二段展开语言和动作描写细节时，可以结合原文语言协同点尝试回答以下问题：

（1）How did Ben feel now?Ashamed?Regretful?

（2）How would Ben tell his mother the truth?

（3）What was the mother's reaction to the truth?

（4）How can we design the ending to teach the readers a lesson?

根据以上问题和给出的段首句内容——“手里拿着一些巧克力糖，男孩的糟糕态度消失了。”，续写第二段的具体情节可以这样安排：本逐渐认识到了自己的错误并勇敢地向妈妈承认是自己打碎了花瓶。然后在续写内容的最后升华文章的主题。

参考范文

Paragraph 1:

The mother said,“This chocolate is a reward for your imagination: a window-opening cat!”What made Ben quite surprised was the humorous but intelligent remarks,which destroyed his lies so easily.A mixed feeling of embarrassment,shame and fear crowded in on him,but he still muttered,“But you forget to close the window!”Instead of arguing with him,the mother took out another chocolate and said calmly,“The second chocolate is given for your effort to repair the vase! The cracks and the glue will always remind me of your care for me!”Hearing this,the boy's face flushed,too awkward to utter a word,which was interrupted by his mother's remarks,“And the third one is for your courage to face the problem,though it's a little delayed!”She then handed the chocolate gently to him.Paragraph 2:

Now with some chocolates in hand,the boy's bad attitude disappeared.He thought of all these days when his mother was trying to teach him to be honest and to be responsible.He thought of all the troublesome problems caused by his lies and fear of punishment.All of a sudden,he realized that it is honesty and courage rather than lies and cowardliness that can fix the problem.With this thought,he gathered his courage and apologized,“Sorry,Mum,it was me who broke the vase.The cat was wronged and I lied...”“Well,my son,these are for your final admission of your mistake,”said his mother,gathering him to her chest affectionately.“Honesty far outweighs anything else—whether an antique or someone's favourite.”

【模拟导练】

阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。

Laurie sat quietly in the empty dressing room at the ice-skating rink（溜冰场）.She had not been skating in any competition since her left knee was badly injured in an accident six months ago.As she waited for her turn to skate,Laurie was very nervous,with her legs trembling.She knew that today was a very important day,in her comeback.

“If I can win today,”she thought,“I can skate in the World Cup next year and then maybe I can make it to the Olympics.”

Laurie was just told that she had a tough competition this year,a girl from Connecticut named Jinny Jordan who was really strong in everything.“She is the one you have to beat this year,”the coach said.

Minutes later,the door opened and Laurie saw a young woman who was about her own age.The young woman put some of her belongings onto a chair.However,the bag fell to the floor.

Laurie glared at Jinny.“So this is my competition,”thought Laurie.“Because of her,I may lose tonight.”

“This costume was my mom's idea,”Jinny started the conversation,looking down at her red,white,and blue skating dress.“I look like a flag.”

Laurie couldn't keep from smiling.She pointed to Jinny's skating bag.“Some stuff fell out of your bag,”Laurie said.

Jinny looked at the clothing and equipment that lay scattered on the floor.As she began to gather her belongings,the door opened.

“Jinny,”called someone,“you'd better give the tape of your music to the sound engineer right away.”

“I thought I gave him my music tape half an hour ago,”said Jinny.“Tell him it's the green box with my initials written in white in the right-hand corner.”

“He claims you never gave it to him,and he is getting angry.”

“Then I don't know what I did with it,”said Jinny,hurrying out.

Laurie knew that music was nearly as important to the program as skating itself.If she lost her music tape,she might as well forget about skating.Laurie stood up and walked to the chair to do a few more knee bends.

注意：续写词数应为150左右。

Paragraph 1:

Suddenly she saw something small and dark green behind the leg of the dressing table.

Paragraph 2:

Feeling relieved,Laurie skated quickly to the center of the rink after the announcer finally called her name.______________________________________________________

【评价导思】

1.续写时我除了考虑故事的主题思想和逻辑关系外，有没有关注原文的语言风格？

2.续写这篇文章的时候，我是否在原文中找到了语言协同点？

3.在续写时我是否关注了原文的语言特征，使用了原文中的词汇和句法结构，以保持与原文语言风格的协同？