写好结尾，续出精彩

广东 陈丽芳

【问题导读】

读后续写的结尾句是全文的收笔处，精彩的结尾能够起到点睛的作用，除了给读者留下深刻印象，亦能唤起读者的思考与共鸣，增强文章的感染力。在结束故事剧情的基础之上，可以灵活运用画面定格、情感升华、主题提炼、首尾呼应、人物对话等多种方式进行结尾，对故事主题进行深化，使人物情感得到升华。熟练掌握这些结尾方法并针对故事特征进行恰当的运用，可以使文章的结尾更加出彩。

【名师导学】

1.画面定格式结尾

以具有特殊意义的画面结尾，这个画面可以是开头画面的再现，也可以是其他的画面，用来映衬人物当时的心情，渲染场景氛围。我们通常可以定格人物动作画面或者是具有特殊寓意的写景画面。

例句欣赏：The wild murmured in the trees and the sunlight flooded in through the window,warming the whole room,as if the freezing ice was all melted.

2.情感升华式结尾

在读后续写的结尾部分，可以采用情感升华的方式，激发读者思考，让读者产生情感上的共鸣。情感升华的结尾要求有较高的立意，因为这样能够产生强烈的艺术感染力，使其成为故事的灵魂。通常，我们可以通过人生感悟、生活真谛或者哲理来实现结尾部分的情感升华。

例句欣赏：I held the paper bag tightly, tears rolling down without control.It is love that makes the world go around,which I felt deep in my heart.

3.主题提炼式结尾

在结尾中，对主题进行提炼往往能够起到凝练中心、升华主旨的作用。常见的方式是使用名言作为结尾。这种结尾可以引出结论、即时抒情、凸显主旨、渲染氛围等，为我们的续写画龙点睛、添砖加瓦。

例句欣赏：Looking back on the previous experience, he learned a new lesson: keep calm no matter what happens,and then you can overcome everything.

4.首尾呼应式结尾

文章的开头和结尾在内容上要有密切的关系，对同一情况做出解释说明，使文章浑然一体，突显文章主旨。写这样的结尾，常见的方式是在结尾处突显开头中的某些关键词、关键画面等。

例句欣赏：(2017·浙江卷)Despite Mom's being absent-minded and forgetful,she was still a kind and nice mom.(呼应文章开头的absent-minded)

5.人物对话式结尾

对话看似简单，但往往蕴含着丰富的情感，令人回味。用人物对话结尾给读者留下的不仅仅是一句话，而是一个有声有色的画面、一片充满遐想的空间，能够达到言有尽而意无穷的效果。

例句欣赏：A smile came to his face.“Mrs Li, thank you,”he said.“And thank you,Ada,”she said.“Your smile is the nicest present I can have.”

【案例导引】

阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。

It was a few months since our beloved boxer（拳师狗）Bama had passed away.He'd lived a good and long life.Alan and I didn't have children.Our boxer was our baby.After Bama's death,we couldn't bring ourselves to go through his toys to decide what to keep,so we put them all in the basement.I told myself I'd do it when I was ready.Apparently,I still wasn't.

Now I sat in my yard and wept.Our friends and family had suggested we get another dog, but Alan and I dismissed the idea.We couldn't go through that kind of heartbreak again.I gazed out over the yard.Across the street was a dog.A boxer.I wiped the tears from my eyes,heart beating wildly.Was he real or just wishful imagination?I took a second look.The boxer was still there.We locked eyes.He ran across the street, straight toward me.I offered my hand.He sniffed it eagerly,bushy tail wagging.He licked me.

This dog was younger than Bama, smaller.He was well-fed and clean.He wore a collar but had no ID.I knew he must belong to someone in the neighborhood.But I'd never seen another boxer around.

The dog lay down beside my feet, his tongue lolling in a doggie smile.He didn't seem lost.Just as if he were dropping by for a visit.

“Alan!”I called.“You have to come see this!”

Alan joined me, and we sat together in awe for a moment.Then the boxer got up and walked off.In the following days, he'd sometimes appear in the backyard when Alan and I were outside.Other times,he'd wait for us on the front porch.

With each visit, I could feel the ache in my heart lessen.Seeing him was helping me work through my deep sorrow.

At work one day, a young man and an older woman I'd never seen before came in.I took down the man's address to complete some paperwork and noticed he lived on the other side of the street from me.His name was Tanner.The woman with him was his grandmother.He and his family had recently moved from Georgia.

注意：

1.所续写短文的词数应为150左右；

2.续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好。

Paragraph 1:

“Do you happen to have a dog?”I asked._____________________________________

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Paragraph 2:

“Not at all!Actually,he was a big help,”I said.________________________________

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一、学语言，知梗概

（一）请用文本中的词汇完成翻译

1.定期拜访某人____________________

2.看起来既惊讶又尴尬____________________

3.向外注视____________________

4.擦干眼泪____________________

5.给某人造成麻烦____________________

6.给某人带来安慰____________________

7.（心）狂跳____________________

8.把我们所有人聚在一起____________________

9.积灰____________________

10.拜访____________________

【参考答案】1.pay sb regular visits 2.look surprised and embarrassed 3.gaze out 4.wipe the tears from one's eyes 5.cause sb trouble 6.bring comfort to sb 7.beat wildly 8.bring all of us together 9.gather dust 10.drop by for a visit

（二）概括原文的故事情节

Alan and I didn't have children, and we kept a boxer Bama as our baby for a long time.But a few months ago,Bama 1.________.We were so sad that we had to put Bama's toys in the 2.________.We refused to get another dog because we couldn't go through the kind of 3.________again.One day a 4.________boxer ran across the street, straight toward me while I was gazing out over the yard.The boxer was 5.________,wearing a collar without ID.I knew he must 6._________someone in the 7.________.In the following days,the boxer often came to visit us,which lessened our ache in the heart for losing Bama.One day,I met a young man whose name was Tanner when I was 8.________.I had never seen him before.Then I took down his address and noticed he 9.________.He and his family had recently 10.________Georgia.

【参考答案】1.passed away 2.basement 3.heartbreak 4.younger and smaller 5.well-fed and clean 6.belong to 7.neighborhood 8.working 9.lived up the street from me 10.moved from

二、读人物，析情感

原文主要讲述了作者和她老公艾伦因为“孩子”拳师狗巴马去世而十分伤心，直到后来偶遇了另外一只拳师狗，心情才有所转变的故事。“我”、巴马和后面出现的小狗是主要人物，其他人物是次要人物。根据原文，我们可以预测续写部分可能出现的人物有新出现的狗狗、“我”、新狗狗的主人。

The plot Beginning____Our beloved boxer Bama had passed away.__________Development Climax My feelings Heartbroken_________________I wiped the tears, heart beating wildly.The ache in my heart lessened.Ending______We came across a boxer across the street.We met the boxer frequently during the following_____________days.?___________________________________________?__________________________

通过分析表格和原文所给的续写首句，我们可以预测作者接下来会遇到狗狗的主人并与之交谈，而作者的心情也从最开始的心碎到慢慢回归正常，感受快乐。

三、析主题，思情节

（一）阅读材料，找出最能体现故事主题的两个词

①family ②love ③accident ④teamwork ⑤sincerity ⑥change

【参考答案】②⑥

（二）构思具体情节

建构合适的主干情节之后，接下来可以通过问题链来构思要续写的两段的具体情节。

续写第一段：“Do you happen to have a dog?”I asked.

1.How would Tanner answer me?

2.Was Tanner surprised at my question?How would I explain it?

3.What might Tanner say to make me say“Not at all!Actually,he was a big help.”?

根据以上问题及其答案，我们尝试续写第一段：

________________________________________________________

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【参考答案】

“Do you happen to have a dog?”I asked.“We do,”he said.“Is he a boxer?”“Yes,my dog Alex is a boxer.”“I have met him.He has actually been paying me regular visits.”The moment Tanner heard what I had said, he looked surprised and embarrassed.“I am so sorry,”he said.“We are building a fence,but it is not finished yet and Alex keeps getting out.I hope he didn't cause you any trouble.”

续写第二段：“Not at all!Actually,he was a big help,”I said.

1.What does“he”refer to?Why did I say“he was a big help”?

2.How did I deal with the old toys?

3.How can we design a warm ending to the story?Would I see the dog again?

根据以上问题及其答案，我们尝试续写第二段：

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【参考答案】

“Not at all!Actually,he was a big help,”I said.I told him about my Bama and the comfort Alex had brought to us.It has been three years since that day.Tanner and his family have become our good friends.Alan and I see them often along with Alex,the boxer who brought all of us together.Now Bama's toys don't just sit in the basement, gathering dust.Alan and I keep them out for Alex to enjoy.

四、修结尾，添美感

在完成初稿的基础上，我们尝试使用今天所学的五种方式来给续写添加一个精彩的结尾。

I told him about my Bama and the comfort Alex had brought to us.It has been three years since that day.Tanner and his family have become our good friends.Alan and I see them often along with Alex,the boxer who brought all of us together.Now Bama's toys don't just sit in the basement,gathering dust.Alan and I keep them out for Alex to enjoy.

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妙招1：画面定格式结尾

Possible ending version 1: From then on, every time Alex dropped by for a visit, I would throw my arms around him tightly and Alex would loll his tongue out, licking me softly.Balmy breeze wiping my face,a surge of warmth just hit us at that moment.

点评：这个结尾描绘了作者与狗狗拥抱的画面，营造出和谐温暖的氛围，并将人物感动的心情与微风拂面的环境相结合，温暖袭人，结尾非常自然，水到渠成，也让人在这样的画面中感悟到人与动物、人与人之间的爱，温暖人心。

妙招2：情感升华式结尾

Possible ending version 2: I was touched and grateful to Alex and his family who gave me a special gift that would change my life.Something inside me just clicked by them,and I finally found my“Bama”.

点评：这个结尾通过两个心理描写的句子，表达了“我”对狗狗亚历克斯及其家人深深的感激之情。从最后一句中的I finally found my“Bama”可以感受到作者从亚历克斯身上获得的生活感悟：无论失去是多么痛苦，只要你敞开心扉，勇敢面对，爱依旧在。简单的结尾却饱含深情，在凸显文本主题的同时，还对全文起到了画龙点睛的作用。

妙招3：主题提炼式结尾

Possible ending version 3: This special encounter in my life made me realize that as long as you open your heart,love is just around the corner.

点评：这个结尾的立意不仅仅局限在人与动物之间的情感关系上，还升华到了对生活的热爱及对朋友的新定义。在人生至暗时刻，是狗狗的爱、陌生人的善意拯救了“我”，让“我”重新燃起了生活的斗志，主题在这一结尾句中得到升华。

妙招4：首尾呼应式结尾

Possible ending version 4: From then on, our“Bama”returned,bonding us with new friends and helping us go through the darkest time of our life.

点评：此续写结尾写到our“Bama”returned，这很好地呼应了文本开篇的“It was a few months since our beloved boxer Bama had passed away.”。文章开头说巴马去世了，结尾却又“活”过来了，反转的结局，能极大地吸引读者的兴趣。读者通过阅读全文，了解故事后能迅速产生共鸣。

妙招5：人物对话式结尾

Possible ending version 5: Looking at Alex playing Bama's toys, tears of gratitude pouring down my cheeks, I did nothing but bow to Alex and address him,“Thank you, my life guide.”

点评：此结尾的前半句通过人物的神态、动作描写展现人物的情感与品质，在这种无声的人物描写的铺垫下，最后仅有的一句话“Thank you,my life guide.”掷地有声，不仅突出主题，还让作者和狗狗亚历克斯之间的感情紧紧萦绕在读者心中。

小结：文章结尾的方式多种多样，同学们写作时要根据文章的具体情况选择最合适的方式结尾，给评卷老师留下深刻印象。

【模拟导练】

阅读下面材料，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。

Walking with Misty

In 2004, when my daughter Becky was ten, she and my husband,Joe, were united in their desire for a dog.As for me,I shared none of their desire.

“But why?”they begged.“Because I don't have time to take care of a dog.”“But we'll do it.”“Really? You're going to walk the dog? Feed the dog? Bathe the dog?”“Yes, yes,and yes.”“I don't believe you.”“We will.We promise.”

They didn't.From day two,neither thought to walk the dog.While I was slow to accept that I would be the one to keep track of her shots (注射), to schedule her vet appointments and to feed and clean her,Misty knew this on day one.

Quickly, she and I developed something very similar to a Vulcan mind meld (心有灵犀).She'd look at me with those sad brown eyes of hers, beam her need, and then wait,trusting I would understand.In no time, she became the fifth appendage (附加物),snoring on my home-office couch as I worked,cradling against my feet as I read, and splaying across my stomach as I watched television.

Even so,part of me continued to dislike the walking duty.Joe and Becky had promised.“Not fair,”I'd loudly remind anyone within earshot upon our returning home.

Then one day—January 1, 2007, to be exact—my husband's doctor uttered an unthinkable word: leukemia (白血病).With that, I spent eight to ten hours a day with Joe in the hospital doing anything and everything I could to ease his discomfort.During those six months of hospitalizations, Becky, 12 at the time, adjusted to other adults being in the house when she returned from school.My work colleagues adjusted to my taking off at a moment's notice for medical emergencies.Every part of my life changed:no part of my old routine remained.

Misty still needed walking.At the beginning, when friends offered to take her through her paces,I declined because I knew they had their own households to deal with.

注意：

1.所续写短文的词数应为150左右；

2.续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好。

Paragraph 1:

As the months went by,I began to realize that I actually wanted to walk Misty.________

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Paragraph 2:

After Joe died in2009,Misty slept on his pillow.________________________________

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【评价导思】

1.你续写的内容是否注意了与原文的衔接程度，包括语篇主旨、文章内容和语言风格的衔接？

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2.续写这篇文章的时候，可以采用哪些方式结尾？你采用了哪种方式结尾？你的结尾方式是否能吸引读者？

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3.在平时写作时，你还可以从哪些方面入手润色结尾句子？

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