基于主题意义备考读后续写

基于主题意义备考读后续写——动物篇广东省河源市东源县东源中学唐孝云

一、总体分析

在动物类的读后续写语篇中，由于动物类型不同，与人类发生的故事也有所不同。分析近几年的一些高考真题和模拟题如下表所示，与可爱动物（包括小狗、小鸟、羊等）发生的故事往往有救助类、温情类、成长类；与危险动物（包括狼、熊、蛇等）发生的故事大多属于遇险类。

二、主题意义分析与情节构建

（一）救助类

救助类包括两种类型，第一种是人类救助动物。故事情节是人类遇到受伤的动物心生怜悯，实施救助，动物刚开始会害怕但很快感受到了来自人类的善意，得救后回到大自然；之后人类会担心动物的情况；重逢时，人类感到开心，而动物也表现出对人类的感恩让人感到惊讶。这一类型的语篇旨在告诉人类要保护动物，并与之和谐相处；第二种是动物救助人类。故事情节则是，当人类遇到危险时，动物发出警告提供帮助或动物直面危险对人类实施救助，人类感到惊讶不已并非常感激动物的帮助。旨在赞美动物的忠诚，说明动物是人类的朋友，体现人与动物之间的互相信任。

（二）成长类

成长类讲述的故事虽然围绕动物展开，但着重刻画主人公从中得到一个教训或懂得了一个道理。例如，2022年福建省泉州一模，故事主人公因为天气寒冷没有亲自出去遛狗，导致小狗走失，受到妈妈的批评，幸好小狗最终自己回到了家。通过这件事，“我”明白了要做一个有责任心的人。

（三）温情类

温情类包括两种类型，第一种主要讲述故事主人公与动物在相处过程中，渐渐对动物产生了如朋友或亲人般的情感，而这时却不得不与动物分离。主人公为了不失去心爱的动物而采取办法，或者在别人的帮助下，最终得以和喜爱的动物继续待在一起。第二种类型，人类与动物早已产生深厚的感情，讲述人与动物互相陪伴互相安慰的故事。构建情节时侧重突出人与动物的温情画面，体现人与动物之间浓浓的友情和亲情，赞美人与动物和谐相处的美好情感。

（四）遇险类

在遇险类型中，故事主人公遇到的是具有攻击性的危险动物，主要描写动物的攻击，以及故事主人公在遇到攻击时的心理变化和采取的脱险措施。文章旨在分享一次难忘的经历或告诉读者在面临危险时要保持沉着冷静。

三、语料积累

（一）词汇

1. roar v./n.（狼、熊、大象等）咆哮，吼叫

2. howl v./n.（狗、狼等）长嚎，嗥叫

3. growl v./n.（狗、狼等）低声怒吼

4. smell/sniff v. 闻/嗅

5. lick/bite v. 舔/咬

6. scratch/rub v. 抓挠/摩擦

7. fur/feather/paw n. 皮毛/羽毛/爪子

8. bark towards…wildly/weakly朝某个方向……疯狂地/虚弱地叫

9. bark madly at sb. 朝某人疯狂地叫

10. with full strength 用尽全力

11. be surprised/amazed at 感到惊讶、不可思议

12. be concerned about 关心

13. rescue/escape…from…从……救出/逃脱……

14. express one's gratitude 表达感激之情

15. shed tears of relief 流下欣慰的眼泪

16. stretch one's hand 伸出某人的手

17. hug/huddle the dog tightly

紧紧地抱着小狗

18. form/develop a close bond with

与……建立亲密的关系

19. regard…as a friend/ a member of family 被当作朋友/家庭成员

20. bend /kneel down弯腰、蹲下/跪下

21. dash into/towards 冲进/向

22. stroke the pet抚摸宠物

23. smooth its feather 捋它的羽毛

24. wag its tail merrily开心地摇尾巴

25. bounce up上下弹跳

26. little sparkling/twinkling eyes亮晶晶的小眼睛

（二）句型

1. I was filled with a sense of satisfaction for knowing I have done just the right thing．

我的内心充满了满足感，因为我知道自己做了正确的事。

2. It was on that day that I was aware of the value of responsibility．

正是在那一天，我意识到了责任感的价值。

3. Knowing that they could keep the lovely creature， they gathered around and stroked it gently， their little hearts filled with joy．

得知他們可以拥有那个可爱的小东西，他们环抱在一起，轻轻地抚摸着它，内心充满了喜悦。

4. It was really an unforgettable experience and luckily we didn't get hurt and escaped successfully．

这真是一次难忘的经历。幸运的是，我们没有受伤，而且成功地脱险了。

5. Sometimes a little kindness can make our world more glorious and harmonious．

有时候，一次小小的善举能让我们的世界变得更加美好与和谐。

四、技巧点拨

在动物类型的读后续写中，对于动物的描写刻画必不可少。除了在平时的英语学习过程中积累语料外，在训练或者考试过程中，要细读原文，抓住原文对动物的细节描写，并灵活运用到续写情节中。

（一）续写技巧 1：延续同样的动作，与之前进行比较，或描写动作的结果。

例1：2020浙江卷——遭遇北极熊的攻击

故事原文：He pulled and bit the wire. He stood on his back legs and pushed at the wooden fence posts… he just kept trying to tear down the fence with his massive paws．

续写情节：他继续对铁丝网又拉又咬。后脚站立着，更猛烈地推着木栅栏柱。栅栏快要被他的巨大的爪子推倒了。

He continued to pull and bite the wire. He stood on his back legs and pushed at the wooden fence posts much more violently…he almost tore down the fence with his massive paws．

（二）续写技巧2：描写动物态度的转变，由冷淡变得热情，由谨慎变得不防备等。

例2：2020年10月浙江五校联考——Sam帮助孤单的邻居遛狗

故事原文：Roland was no exception. He was a magnificent German Shepherd（德国牧羊犬）， a little lazy and overweight though. He loved to doze in the backyard. He yawned and stretched his body as he heard the slowly approaching footsteps of Mrs. Proudfoot. “Come have your lunch dear！” said Mrs. Proudfoot with her usual fondness for him and he wagged his tail affectionately in return.

续写情节：刚开始时，Roland见到Sam要么只是轻轻地摇摇尾巴，要么打个哈欠，舒展一下身体后继续打盹。渐渐地，Roland听到Sam的脚步声，它就会冲到门边，充满喜爱地摇着尾巴等待着Sam的到来。

At the beginning， seeing Sam， Roland either wagged his tail politely， or yawned， stretched his body and continued his doze. Gradually， hearing Sam's footsteps， he would dash towards the door and wag his tail affectionately， waiting for Sam's coming．

（三）續写技巧3：重现原文对动物的美的描写或与动物互动的温情画面。

例3：2022年广东省广州三模——“我”和奶奶一起建立帝王蝶驿站

故事原文：“I remember when I was a girl，” she said， “those orange and black butterflies were a common sight. Come late summer， there would suddenly be hundreds of them， and before long there were so many it felt like you were standing in an orange cloud.”

续写情节：在某个阳光灿烂的夏日，我亲眼目睹了奶奶描述的美丽场景：成百上千的黑色和橙色相间的蝴蝶突然出现，那感觉就和奶奶一样，像是站在橙色的云朵上。

On a sunny summer day， I witnessed the beautiful scene that Nana had told me and experienced the same feeling as Nana did—Hundreds of orange and black butterflies appeared suddenly， which made me feel standing in an orange cloud．

（四）续写技巧 4：对动物的伤势进行描写——内心由害怕到感谢，身体由受伤到康复。

例4：2022年大湾区模拟考试——卡罗琳救下断翅小鸟

故事原文：The poor creature cried in pain， as its wings had been badly damaged…The poor feathered soul was wriggling （扭动） about， with a fearful look in its eyes.

续写情节：这只可爱的小动物，翅膀已经康复了，亮晶晶的小眼睛里没有了害怕，在空中欢快地飞着叫着，像是在向Caroline表示感谢。

The lovely creature， with wings cured and no fear in its little sparkling eyes， flew and cried happily in the sky， as if expressing its gratitude to Caroline．

五、实例分析

（2023年1月浙江卷）阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。

I was invited to a cookout on an old friend's farm in western Washington. I parked my car outside the farm and walked past a milking house which had apparently not been used in many years. A noise at a window caught my attention. So I entered it. It was a hummingbird（蜂鳥）， desperately trying to escape. She was covered in spiderwebs（蛛网） and was barely able to move her wings. She ceased her struggle the instant I picked her up．

With the bird in my cupped hand， I looked around to see how she had gotten in. The broken window glass was the likely answer.I stuffed a piece of cloth into the hole and took her outside， closing the door securely behind me．

When I opened my hand， the bird did not fly away; she sat， looking at me with her bright eyes. I removed the sticky spider-webs that covered her head and wings. Still， she made no attempt to fly. Perhaps she had been struggling against the window too long and was too tired？ Or too thirsty？

As I carried her up the blackberry-lined path toward my car where I kept a water bottle， she began to move. I stopped and she soon took wing but did not immediately fly away．

Hovering（悬停）， she approached within six inches of my face. For a very long moment this tiny creature looked into my eyes， turning her head from side to side. Then she flew quickly out of sight．

During the cookout， I told my hosts about the hummingbird incident. They promised to fix the window. As I was departing， my friends walked me to my car. I was standing by the car when a hummingbird flew to the center of our group and began hovering. She turned from person to person until she came to me. She again looked directly into my eyes， then let out a squeaking call and was gone. For a moment， all were speechless. Then someone said， “She must have come to say good bye.”

注意：

1. 续写词数应为 150 左右：

2. 请按如下格式在答题纸的相应位置作答。

Paragraph 1： A few weeks later， I went to the farm again.

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Paragraph 2： I was just about to leave when the hummingbird appeared.

_________________________________________________________________

（一）原文故事分析

原文故事讲述“我”受到邀请去朋友的农场烧烤，从废弃房子的破旧窗户上救助了一只被蜘蛛网困住的蜂鸟。在“我”准备离开的时候，蜂鸟飞到了“我”的眼前，似乎是来跟“我”告别。

（二）续写分析

这是一篇人类救助小动物的语篇，根据故事的主题意义，旨在体现人类关爱和保护动物，与动物和谐共处。根据两段段首句，第一段主要描述主人公“我”再次来到农场后，牵挂着蜂鸟，希望再次见到她；第二段则描写蜂鸟出现后，她的行为表现以及“我”的内心感受。

（三）情节构建与策略运用

1. 根据故事的主题意义和续写分析，构建情节如下：“我”很担心蜂鸟非常想要再次见到她→“我”在农场里寻找蜂鸟→可是没有找到，决定离开→就在这时蜂鸟出现了→“我”很开心很欣慰→蜂鸟欢快地飞着叫着，似乎是在表示感谢→“我”觉得很不可思议→“我”感到很满足，觉得做了正确的事。

2. 技巧运用

原文故事：she sat， looking at me with her bright eyes…Hovering（悬停）， she approached within six inches of my face. For a very long moment this tiny creature looked into my eyes， turning her head from side to side…She again looked directly into my eyes， then let out a squeaking call and was gone．

重现与蜂鸟互动的温情画面，灵活运用到续写中：

（1）How I hoped that she would sat on my hand and look at me with her bright eyes again.

（2）Hovering， she approached me and looked into my eyes as before.

（3）I stretched my hand and she sat on it， letting out a squeaking call.

（4）Then she flew up， turning her head from side to side as if expressing her gratitude.

（四）續写故事

根据续写分析和构建的情节，运用准备好的语料进行续写：

A few weeks later， I went to the farm again. It seemed as if I had formed a close bond with the hummingbird. The moment I arrived at the farm， I dashed towards the milking house directly， eager to meet her again. To my delight， the broken window was fixed， but to my disappointment， the hummingbird wasn't there. I couldn't help wondering if the tiny creature managed to go back home or was trapped again somewhere. How I hoped that she would sat on my hand and look at me with her bright eyes again. （88words）

I was just about to leave when the hummingbird appeared. “It's you！” I cried. Hovering， she approached me and looked into my eyes as before. I stretched one hand and she sat on it， letting out a squeaking call. “Glad to see you again，” I responded， smoothing her feather gently. Then she flew up， turning her head from side to side as if expressing her gratitude. At that moment， I was filled with a sense of satisfaction and realized that sometimes a little kindness can make our world more glorious and harmonious. （88words）

六、模拟训练

（2021年11月台州一模）Almost all the possessions had been sold to buy food and clothing for the family. At last， nothing was left but the pet lamb， Daisy. At the thought of parting with the little creature， Mrs.Grant felt sad because the children loved it very much. Having struggled hard， she had to make up her mind to sell the lamb. But she could not ask any child to go for the butcher. Finally， she went herself with a heavy heart， dragging her leaden feet， and bargained with the butcher for the sale of Daisy．

While the children were all playing with the lamb， the butcher and his boy came to the door. “You see I am here for the lamb，” said the butcher in a loud voice. Hearing this， one child ran to her mother's side， and asked what was happening in alarm. Mrs. Grant gently pushed the child aside， bent down and was about to tell the truth.

“That's my lamb now， Charlie！” said the butcher's boy in a playful tone， going up to Daisy with a rope in his hand．

“No， it is not your lamb. It is ours！” said Charlie， placing himself in front of it.

But the boy， pushing him aside， threw a rope round Daisy's neck， and began to drag the little creature away. The poor lamb bleated very sadly. The cry of grief which fell upon the mother's ears was too much for her， and her heart sank within her. In a moment ， begging with tearful eyes， the children were all around their mother with voices choking with sobs for their little pet．

“Pray， tell your boy to stop a moment，”she said in husky tones to the butcher.

The boy， at a word from the butcher， stopped dragging the lamb， and the little creature stopped its bleating．

In a trembling voice， Mrs.Grant explained to them how badly off they were after their father died. She also added that the kind butcher had given the money for Daisy. With this money， she could buy her children bread to eat.

注意：

1. 續写词数应为 150 左右：

2. 请按如下格式在答题纸的相应位置作答。

Paragraph1： But the more she explained， the stronger her children begged for Daisy.

_________________________________________________________________

Paragraph 2： The butcher， who had been watching all， was touched in his heart.

_________________________________________________________________

【参考范文】

But the more she explained， the stronger her children begged for Daisy. “Please， mom！ Let us keep Daisy！ We would rather go hunger than lose her！” the children pleaded， with tears rolling down their faces. It seemed as if Daisy had been aware of something for it began to bleat again with full strength and cried with greater grief. The children dashed towards the poor creature and hugged it tightly together. With heart bleeding， Mrs. Grant bent down and patted her children， “I know you have formed a close bond with Daisy and regard it as our family member.” Happy moments with the lovely creature flashed across Mrs. Grant's mind， and she struggled. （107 words）

The butcher， who had been watching all， was touched in his heart. “You can keep it，” the butcher made up his mind. Hearing what he said， the children and Mrs. Grant were all surprised， unable to believe their ears. The butcher turned to his son and stretched his hand， “Give me the rope， son.” Reluctantly， the son obeyed his father. Only when the butcher passed the rope to Charlie did they realize that he really meant it. “Thank you so much， sir！” they expressed their gratitude sincerely. Seeing the children stroking the pet joyfully， the butcher was filled with a sense of satisfaction for knowing he had done just the right thing. （106words）

七、结语

总之，在备考动物类读后续写时，学会根据原文故事动物的类型去理解和把握语篇的主题意义，有助于学生进行续写分析和构建合理的续写情节，最终帮助学生运用积累的语料完成故事的续写，实现解题能力的提高。

责任编辑吴昊雷