英语笑话

【美】Marshall’s Talent Education, LLC. 龚珍妮 编译

1. What Letter Can Hurt You If It Gets Too Close?如果你挨得太近，什么字母会伤害你？

Teacher: Whatlettercanhurtyou if itgets too close, Jason?

Jason: B (bee).

老师：杰森，如果你挨得太近，什么字母会伤害你？

杰森：B（蜜蜂）。

Notes:

lettern.字母

hurtv.伤害

get too close挨得太近

been.蜜蜂

2. The Letter “T” Is So Amazing!字母þTÿ太神奇了！

Teacher: Mike, whatstartswiththe letter “t”,is filled with“t” andends in“t”?

Mike: Ateapot!

老师：迈克，什么东西以字母“t”开头，以“t”装入，以“t”结尾？

迈克：茶壶！

Notes:

startv.开始

start with …以……开始

be filled with … 以……装进去

end in … 以……结尾

teapotn.茶壶

3. What Color Were the Stairs?楼梯是什么颜色的？

Lucy: In aone-storypinkhouse, there was a pinkperson, a pink cat, a pink fish, a pink computer, a pink chair, a pink table, a pink telephone, and a pinkshower. Everything was pink! What color were thestairsthen?

Mary: There weren’t any stairs. It was aone-story house!

露西：在一幢一层楼高的粉红色房子里，有一个粉红色皮肤的人，一只粉红色的猫，一条粉红色的鱼，一台粉红色的电脑，一把粉红色的椅子，一张粉红色的餐桌，一部粉红色的电话，还有一个粉红色的淋蓬头。所有的东西都是粉红色的！那么，楼梯是什么颜色呢？

玛丽：没有楼梯。那是一幢平房！

Notes:

one-story一层楼的

pinkadj.粉色的

personn.人

showern.淋蓬头

stairn.楼梯

one-story house平房

4. I Gave It to a Poor Old Woman我把它给了一个贫穷的老太婆

Little Robert was a small boy. He was very good and smart.Almosteverybody liked him.

One day, Little Robert asked his mother for twocents.

“What did youdo withthemoneyI gave youyesterday?” asked his mother.

“I gave it to apoorold woman,” he answered.

“You’re a good boy,” said the motherproudly, “Here are two cents more. But why are you sointerested inthe old woman?”

“She is the one whosellsthecandy,” Little Robert said.

小罗伯特是个小男孩。他很乖，很聪明。几乎每个人都喜欢他。

一天，小罗伯特向他妈妈要两分钱。

“我昨天给你的钱，你花哪儿了？”他母亲问。

“我把它给了一个可怜的老妇人。”他回答。

“你是个好孩子，”母亲骄傲地说，“再给你两分钱。但是你为什么对这位老妇人这么感兴趣呢？”

“她是卖糖果的。”小罗伯特说。

`Notes:

almostadv.几乎

centn.分；百分之一元

do with …处理……

moneyn.钱

yesterdayadv.昨天

pooradj.贫穷的；可怜的

proudlyadv.骄傲地

interested in …对……感兴趣

sellv.卖；出售

candyn.糖果

5. I Know the Reason of the Famine我知道闹饥荒的原因了

Bernard Shaw was a well-known British writer. He was born on July 26, 1856 and died on November 2, 1950. He wrote many famousnovelsand a lot of interesting short stories. He won Nobel Prize in Literature in 1925. He washumorous absolutely, but he was very thin.

One day, Bernard Shaw was invited to a big dinner party. At the party, acapitalistlooked at Bernard Shaw up and down for a while,and said in all seriousness, “Look at yourappearance. It really makes people believe that all the British arestarving.”

Bernard Shawexaminedthe very fat capitalist, and said immediately, “But I know the reason why Britain issufferingfamine as soon as I saw you.”

萧伯纳是英国著名作家。他出生于1856年7月26日，于1950年11月2日去世。他写了许多著名的小说和许多有趣的短文。他于1925年获得诺贝尔文学奖。他绝对幽默，但是身材很瘦。

一天，萧伯纳被邀请参加一个盛大的晚宴。在聚会上，一个资本家上下打量了萧伯纳一会儿，然后一本正经地说：“看看你的外表，真让人相信所有的英国人都在挨饿。”

萧伯纳审视了那个肥胖的资本家，立刻说道：“可我一见到你，我就知道英国遭受饥荒的原因了。”

Notes:

noveln.小说

humorousadj.幽默的

absolutelyadv.绝对地

capitalistn.资本家

appearancen.外表；外貌

starvingadj.挨饿的

examinev.审视；注视

sufferv.承受；遭受