Jokes

本刊资料

A Kiss

At a dinner party， the speaker， who was the guest of honor， was about to deliver a speech when his wife sitting at the other end of the table， sent him a piece of paper with the word “KISS” scribbled on it.

The guest seated next to the speaker said， “Your wife must love you very much， I see her send you a ‘KISS’ before you begin your speech.”

The speaker smiled and explained， “You dont know my wife. The ‘KISS’ she gives me stands for ‘Keep It Short， Stupid.’”

At the Supermarket

At the supermarket I noticed an elderly man who seemed to be following me wherever I went. As I moved to each aisle， there he was， smiling at me. Now I was wondering if he was interested in me. At the dairy counter I was checking out the eggs when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Turning around， I saw that it was the same man. “Lady，” he finally said， “you have my shopping cart.”

Dream

The school of agricultures dean of admissions was interviewing a prospective student. “Why have you chosen this career？” he asked.

“I dream of making a million dollars in farming， like my father，” the student replied.

“Your father made a million dollars in farming？” echoed the impressed dean.

“No，” replied the applicant. “But he always dreamed of it.”

I am Lost

There was a man who raised a pig. He felt tired of it and gave it up. However， the pig knew the way to go home. The man did not succeed in doing so several times.

One day， the man drove a vehicle， turning many times on the way， then gave it up. Late at night， he telephoned to his family and asked： “Had the pig returned home？”

A member of his family answered： “It had.” The man roared： “Let it answer the telephone. I am lost！”

Compliment

“Larry！ Come here！” said his furious mother， putting the telephone down， “Ive just had a call from Mrs. Harrison about your behavior to her Doris at the school dance last night. You wretched， rude boy！”

“I was nice to her， Mum， really I was！” protested the youth. “I even paid her a compliment when we had a dance.”

“Did you， indeed？” said his mother grimly， “And what exactly did you say？”

“I said， Gosh， Doris， you sweat less than any fat girl Ive ever danced with！”

（本刊資料）