小幽默

杨扬

Thinking Back

We were gathered together， all ten of us， for our widowed mothers 80th birthday. The conversation was of early struggles， walking to work and saving up in clothing clubs， when my elder sister said， “Of course， we were bound to be poor because we were such a big family. Mom， why did you have so many children？”

Mother looked around at us all and said， “Well， where did you want to me to stop？”

回憶

我们总共十个人，聚在一起祝贺已成为寡妇的妈妈的八十岁生日。谈的话题是我们家早年的艰辛，走着去上班，在“新衣会”里存钱准备买衣裳。这时我姐姐说：“当然，我们的生活没法子不艰难，因为我们家孩子太多了。妈妈，您为什么要生这么多的孩子呢？”

妈妈看了我们一圈说：“那么，你想让我在哪儿停住呢？”

Ill Carry You Down

My 15-year-old son came bounding in from school and found me in bed. “Dont you feel well， Mom？” he asked with concern. “No， I dont，” I said. “Well， dont you worry about dinner，” he reassured me. “Ill carry you down to the stove.”

我会把您背下去

我十五岁的儿子连跑带颠地跑回家里发现我躺在床上。“妈妈，您觉得不舒服吗？”他关心地问。“是的，我有点不舒服，”我说。“那么，您别担心晚饭了。”他向我打保票说：“我可以把您背到楼下的炉灶前去。”

Prize

Little Albert came home from school with a new book under his arm. “Its a prize， mother，” he explained.

“A prize？ What for， dear？”

“For natural history. Teacher asked me how many legs an ostrich has， and I said three.”

“But an ostrich has only two legs.”

“I know it now. But all the pupils said four， so I was the closest.”

奖品

小阿尔伯特腋下夹着一本新书从学校回家来了。“这是奖品，妈妈。”他解释道。

“奖品？因为什么得的，亲爱的？”

“因为自然课得的。老师问我鸵鸟有几条腿，我说有三条。”

“但是鸵鸟是两条腿的啊。”

“我现在知道了。但其他学生都说有四条。所以还是我最接近正确答案。”

She Ate All My Bait

The young boy protested vigorously when his mother asked him to take his little sister along fishing. “The last time she came，” he objected， “I didnt catch a single fish.”

“Ill talk to her，” his mother said， “and I promise this time she wont make any noise.”

“It wasnt the noise， Mom，” the boy replied， “She ate all my bait.”

她把所有的诱饵都吃了

当妈妈提出让小男孩带着妹妹一起去钓鱼时，他坚决反对。“上次她跟着我，”他反对说：“我连一条鱼都没能钓上。”

“我会告诉她，”妈妈说：“我保证这次她不再发出响声了。”

“妈妈，不是响声，”男孩回答：“是她把所有的诱饵都吃了。”

（浙江杭州 杨  扬 供稿）