English Jokes 英语笑话

[美]Marshall’s Talent Education, LLC. 龚珍妮 编译

1. Can’t

不会

An English teacher isgiving a lessontohis students. He asks his students a question, “What isthe most commonwordused bystudents in a classroom?”

Thewhole classis silent. Itseemsthat none of them can answer such a difficult question.Suddenlya boy student stands up and says, “Can’t, Sir!”

“Smart! You are right. Please sit down,” says the teacher.

一位英语老师正在给他的学生上课。他问学生一个问题：“学生在教室里最常用的词是什么？”

全班学生都安静了下来。看来，他们谁也回答不了这么难的一个问题。突然，一个男生站了起来，说道：“不会，先生！”

“聪明！你回答正确。请坐下。”老师说。

Notes:

give a lesson to 给……上课

the most common 最常见的

commonadj. 常见的

used by … 被……使用

wholeadj.全部的；整个的

whole class 全班

seemv.似乎；看上去

suddenlyadv.突然

2. Take the “s” out from it

把" s "从里面取出来！

A maths teacher is giving a lesson to her students. She asks, “How can you make the number seven to an even number?”

Wood stands up and says loudly, “Just take the ‘s’ out from it!”

At this, all the others laugh and laugh.

一位数学老师正在给她的学生上课。她问：“你怎么才能把数字‘7’变成一个偶数呢？”

伍德站起来，大声说道：“从‘7’里面取出‘s’！”

听到这里，其他人都哈哈大笑。

Notes:

英语中的“奇数”叫作“odd number”，“偶数”则叫作“even number”。数字“7”是一个奇数，其单词拼写是“seven”。而英语中的“偶数”的单词拼写则是“even”。因此，把“seven”中的字母“s”取出来，单词“seven”就变成了“even”（偶数）了。

3. Will Bill and Mike study?

比尔和迈克将会学习吗？

Bill and Mike are brothers.Neither ofthem like studying. They like playing.

One Saturday afternoon, Bill asks Mike, “What will we do this afternoon, Mike?”

Mike says, “I have no idea. But we canflipacoin.”

Bill doesn’t understand Mike. Then he asks, “Flip a coin? What do you mean?”

Mike says, “Oh, it’s so easy. If it comesheads, we willgo for movies. If it comestails, we willplay cards. If it stands on itsedge,we will study!”

Bill laughs andcries, “Good idea!”

比尔和迈克是兄弟。他们两个都不喜欢学习。他们喜欢玩。

一个星期六的下午，比尔问迈克：“迈克，今天下午我们做什么？”

迈克说：“我不知道。但我们可抛硬币。”

比尔不理解迈克。然后,他问道：“抛硬币？什么意思？”

迈克说：“哦，太简单了。如果硬币是正面朝上，我们就去看电影。如果硬币是反面朝上，我们就玩扑克牌。如果它站立在它的边缘上，我们就学习！”

比尔笑着大叫道：“好主意！”

Notes:

neitherpron.两者中一个都不

neither of …两者中任意一个都不

flipv.投掷

coinn.硬币

headn.硬币的正面

go for movies 去看电影

tailn. 硬币的背面

play cards玩扑克

edgen. 边缘

cryv. 大声喊叫

4. It’s a so easy question!

这是一个很简单的问题！

John and Sam are twin brothers. Johndoes well inthesubjectHistory. Samisnotgood atthe subject History, but he is notsilly.

In a History class, the teacher asks his students to tell theimportanceof the year 1809.

John stands up and says, “Abraham Lincoln was born.”

The teacher is happy. He says, “Yes. You’re right. Please sit down.”

Then the teacheragainasks the students to tell the importance of another year 1819.

Sam suddenly says, “It’s a soeasyquestion!”Hearingthis, the teacher asks Sam to stand up and asks, “You know the answer?”

Sam says, “Yes. So easy.”

The teacher asks, “What is your answer, then?”

Sam answers loudly, “Abraham Lincoln was ten years old!”

At this, the teacher and all the other students laugh and laugh.

约翰和萨姆是孪生兄弟。约翰在历史这门学科上学得很好，而萨姆不擅长历史学科，但他并不傻。

在一节历史课上，老师让他的学生讲述1809 年的重要性。

“亚伯拉罕·林肯出生了。”约翰说。

老师很高兴。他说：“是的。你说得对。请坐下。”

然后，老师再次要求学生们讲述另一年——1819 年的重要性。

萨姆突然说：“这是一个很简单的问题！”听到这里，老师叫萨姆站起来，问道：“你知道答案吗？”

萨姆说：“是的。太简单了。”

老师问：“那你的答案是什么？”

萨姆大声回答道：“亚伯拉罕·林肯十岁了！”

听到这话，老师和其他同学都笑个不停。

Notes:

do well in在……方面很好

subjectn. 学科

be good at擅长……

sillyadj.傻乎乎的

importancen. 重要性

againadv. 再一次；又

easyadj.容易的

hearv. 听见；听到

5. My name

我的名字

Almostall thevillagersin that village think that Jack is a very smart boy, as he can answer any question you ask. However, David does not believe so, and he wants tomake sure whetherJack is really smart or not.

One day, David meets Jack on a bridge over a small river in the village. David says to Jack, “Jack, people say that you’re very smart,because you can answer all the questions. Is thattrue?”

Jack looks at David fora whileand says, “Of course, it’s true.Don’t you believe me?”

David says, “No, I don’t think you can answer all the questions asked by others.”

Jack smiles and says, “Well, you can ask me ahardquestion now.”

David thinks fora moment. Then he asks Jack, “Jack, what isowned byyou but mostlyused byothers?”

Jack answersimmediately,“My name!”

那个村子里几乎所有的村民都认为杰克是个非常聪明的男孩，因为他能回答你问的任何问题。然而，大卫并不这么认为，他想确定杰克是否真的聪明。

一天，大卫在村子里小河上的一座桥上遇到了杰克。大卫对杰克说：“杰克，人们说你很聪明，因为你能回答所有的问题。是真的吗？”

杰克看着大卫好一会儿，说：“当然，这是真的。你不相信我吗？”

大卫说：“是的，我认为你不能回答别人所有的问题。”

杰克微笑着说：“好吧，你现在可以问我一个难题了。”

大卫想了一会儿。然后，他问杰克：“杰克，什么东西是你所拥有的，却是别人用得多？”

杰克立刻回答道：“我的名字！”

Notes:

almostadv.几乎

villagern.村民

make sure确信

whetherconj.是否

trueadj.真实的

a while一会儿

hardadj. 难的

a moment 片刻

owned by …为……所拥有

used by … 为……所用

immediatelyadv. 立刻；马上