张祖平 男,80后英语教师,就职于浙江省绍兴市树人中学,爱好阅读、翻译和写作。在英语教学中,注重分层教学,尤其善于激励英语基础薄弱的学生,用他们的兴趣爱好引导他们愉快地阅读。自主研发的“E飞英语口语考试小程序”荣获2018年绍兴市教师自制教具比赛一等奖。
Hello, everyone!
The Health Club has just made a survey about the habits of our students. Today we are going to share the results. Many of the students by bike or walk to school①. They dont eat snacks for② breakfast and lunch. They do sports a lot③. So they are very healthy.
But some of the students take their parents car④ to school. They eat lots of meat. And they never do sports so theyre fat and heavy.
I think its not difficult to have good habits. Healthy food and enough sleep are both important for us because we are grow⑤ up.
浙江省绍兴市树人中学初一(5)班 曾江涛
1. 优点:
本文紧扣要点,语言简洁,能准确使用单数和复数及相应的代词。全文脉络清晰,观点明确。
2. 需要修改的地方:
①此句建议改为:Most students go to school by bike or on foot.或Most students ride bikes or walk to school. 连词or连接的应该是并列结构,原句中by bike并非动词短语,而是介词短语。另外,“大部分学生”应该用most students。
②“兩餐之间”用between...and结构,也就是把for改为between。
③此句建议改为:They do a lot of exercise. 读起来更流畅。
④此句中人和车都是复数,并且有所属关系,应该用上名词所有格结构parents cars。
⑤在英语中,be动词后面是不能直接跟动词原形的,应该把grow改为growing,这样就变成了现在进行时结构,意为“我们正在成长”。
3. 评分:
按中考英语作文满分10分的评分标准,本文修改前可得6分。