刘佳娴
张超 男 河北省衡水市阜城县第四中学高级英语教师、市英语优秀教师、县骨干教师,从事英语教育教学工作29年;多年来,在省级以上报刊《中学生英语》《学英语》《英语周报》《中学生英语读写》《中学英语园地》《英语辅导》《校园英语》等发表文章数百篇,并有多篇论文获奖;曾参编高中版教辅资料《天天向上》及《三维方案》的编写工作,并荣获“中央教育科学研究所全国基础教育科研先进个人”荣誉称号;多次辅导多名学生在市、省、国家级英语竞赛中获奖。
It was the weekend yesterday, so I didnt have to go to school as usual. Dad was on business and Mom went to the supermarket. I was lonely① at home.
“Wow,” I said to myself, “its time for me to enjoy the good times today!” So I began to play football at home after finished② my homework. Suddenly, I kicked the ball so hard that it hit a vase and broke it. It was my moms favorite. I decided to tell my mom it was the fault of the cat because I was afraid she will③ come back and beat me. Two hours later, mom got home. However, on second thought, I told my mom what true④ happened. Instead of beating me, Mom said to myself⑤, “Honesty is the most important thing and I hope you can learn to be honest even when no one sees what happens.”
I would never make such a foolish mistake.
1. 优点:
打碎妈妈的花瓶这是一件很普通的小事,但是小作者卻从中明白了一个道理:无论做错任何事,都要勇于去承认,因为错误的态度比错误本身更可怕。人,要学会诚实。
2. 需要修改的地方:
① lonely改为alone。lonely指“孤独的”,而alone是指“独自的”,不强调主观感受,be alone at home意为“独自在家”。
② finished改为finishing。介词after后面接动名词。
③ will改为would。would表示过去的将来。
④ true改为truly。副词truly意为“真实地,不假”,修饰实义动词happened。
⑤ myself改为me。该句意为“妈妈对我说”,而不能写为“妈妈对我自己说”。
3. 评分:
按中考英语作文满分20分的评分标准,本文修改前可得18分。