将立未立的年轻一代

I will readily admit； it took me a long time to grow up. I graduated from Michigan State University in 1980 at the age of 23， with a freshly printed bachelors degree in psychology and no idea what I really wanted to do. After a couple of years， I entered graduate school in psychology， but even after I got my PhD four years later， I still didnt really know what I wanted to do. Eventually， I did find my way in love and work， but it took years and years. I got my first long-term job （as a professor） at 35， married at 36， and had my kids （twins） at 42.

When my research on how young people make their way to adulthood first began， the initial inspiration was my own odyssey. I was in my early 30s and thinking about how long it was taking me—and lots of my peers—to get there. But I have maintained my research focus on these 18- to 29-year-olds because I found they were so rewarding to talk to. I was to discover， however， that there were many others who didnt share my warm and benevolent views of emerging adults. Quite the contrary.

One of the most common insults about todays emerging adults is that theyre lazy. According to this view， young people are“slackers” who avoid work whenever possible， preferring to sponge off their parents for as long as they can get away with it. They expect work to be fun， and if its not fun， they refuse to do it.

Its true that emerging adults have high hopes for work， and even， yes， a sense of being entitled to enjoy their work. Ian， a 22-year-old， chose to go into journalism， even though he knew that： “If Im a journalist making $20，000 a year， my dad （a wealthy physician） makes vastly more than that.” More important than the money was finding a job that he could love.

So， yes， emerging adults today have high and often unrealistic expectations for work， but lazy？ Thats laughably false. While they look for their elusive dream job， they dont simply sit around and play video games and update their Facebook page all day. The great majority of them spend most of their twenties in a series of unglamorous， low-paying jobs as they search for something better. Its unfair to tar the many hard-working emerging adults with a stereotype that is true for only a small percentage of them.

Another widespread slur against emerging adults is that they are selfish. With this stereotype， too， there is a grain of truth that has been vastly overblown. Its probably true that most emerging adults today grow up with a higher level of selfesteem than in previous generations. Their Baby Boomer parents have been telling them from the cradle onward： “Youre special！” “You can be whatever you want to be！” “Dream big dreams！”and the like. Popular culture has reinforced these messages， in movies， television shows and songs. Well， they actually believed it.

But—and this is the key point—that doesnt mean theyre selfish. It simply means that they are highly confident in their abilities to make a good life for themselves， whatever obstacles they might face. For example， Nicole， 25， grew up in poverty as the oldest of four children in a household with a mentally disabled mother and no father. Her goals for her life have been repeatedly delayed or driven off track by her family responsibilities. Nevertheless， she is pursuing a college degree and is determined to reach her ultimate goal of getting a PhD. Her selfbelief is what has enabled her to overcome a chaotic childhood full of disadvantages.

As for the claim that they never want to grow up， its true that entering the full range of adult responsibilities comes later than it did before， in terms of completing education and entering marriage and parenthood. Many emerging adults are ambivalent about adulthood and in no hurry to get there.

Despite their ambivalence， by the age of 30， the great majority of emerging adults have a marriage partner， at least one child， and a stable long-term job. So， its not true that they never grow up. Most of them just dont want to take on the yoke of adult responsibilities in their early 20s. They want to make use of their freedom while they have the chance. Thats not contemptible， its wise， and we dont give them enough credit for their wisdom.

Despite all of this good news about the rising generation， an especially popular negative stereotype of emerging adults today is that they are worse than ever， far inferior to young people of a generation or two ago. There is a widespread belief in US society that young people are apathetic， irresponsible and immoral.

Oddly， this stereotype persists even though there is overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Rates of violent crime committed by young men are now less than half the level of the 1970s， 80s and early90s. Automobile fatalities have long been the main cause of death among young Americans in the late teens and early 20s， but rates have declined by almost half in the past 20 years.

Not only have bad things gone down， but good things about this generation have gone up. Nearly 90% of American college freshmen reported doing volunteer work in the past year， the highest level ever. Furthermore， applications to post-college volunteer programmes such as the Peace Corps， AmeriCorps， and Teach for America have reached record levels.

The origins of the many prejudices against todays emerging adults are complex， but maybe one key reason is that many of their elders still use old yardsticks to measure their progress. The pace of social， economic and technological change over the past half-century has been mind-boggling， and what is ‘normal among young people has changed so fast that the rest of society has not yet caught up.

我会欣然承认——我花了很长时间才真正長大成人。1980年，我当时23岁，刚从密歇根州立大学毕业。拿着新鲜出炉的心理学学士学位，我并不知道自己想做什么。几年后，我进入了心理学研究生院。但是，即使四年过后，我拿到了博士学位，我依旧不知道自己真正想做什么。最后，我确实找到了爱情与事业的方向，但这花了许多年的时间。35岁时，我获得了第一份长期工作（当一名教授）；36岁时，我结了婚；而在42岁时，我有了自己的孩子（一对双胞胎）。

当我刚开始研究年轻人如何步入成人期这个课题时，我首先想到的就是我自己那漫长的成长之路。我那时三十出头，思考着我——和我的许多同龄人花了多长时间才长大成人。但是我把我的研究对象定位在十八到二十九岁的年轻人身上，因为我发现他们身上有着许多值得讲述的地方。然而，我发现，许多人并不认同我对这些将立未立的年轻人抱有的善意友好的观点，他们的态度恰恰与之背道而驰。

对现在这些将立未立的年轻人最常见的责难之一就是——他们很懒惰。根据这个观点，年轻人都是“懒虫”，只要有可能，他们就逃避工作，宁愿啃老，能熬多久是多久。他们希望工作是有趣的，如果没意思，他们就拒绝工作。

确实，步入成人初期的年轻人对工作有着很高的期许，并且认为，没错，他们有资格享受工作的乐趣。伊恩，22岁，他选择从事新闻工作，尽管他知道：“如果我当一名年薪2万的记者，那么我爸爸（一名富裕的医生）赚的远超于我。”比钱更重要的是找一份他喜欢的工作。

所以，没错，将立未立的年轻人确实对工作有着很高，而且经常是不切实际的期许，但是——“懒惰”？那就错得离谱了。当他们在寻找那些难以企及的梦想工作的同时，他们并非整日游手好闲，打游戏和更新他们的脸书。在他们二十多岁的时候，当他们在寻找着更好工作的同时，他们大多数都在从事着一系列单调乏味、薪酬低的工作。把他们当中一小部分人的不良品行扣在努力工作的大部分年轻人身上是不公平的。

另一个广为流传的对这些将立未立的年轻人的诋毁就是——他们很自私。同样地，由于这种刻板的成见，这其中的一点点真实成分也被极大地夸大了。现在大多数的年轻人比他们的老一辈有着更高的自尊心，这点也许没错。自襁褓时起，他们“婴儿潮”一代的父母就告诉他们：“你是特别的！”“你能成为任何你想成为的人！”“要怀有远大的梦想”，诸如此类。在电影里、电视节目里以及歌曲里，流行文化更是强化了这些信息。嗯，他们真的相信了。

但是，这并不意味着他们就很自私，这点至关重要。这仅仅说明他们十分自信无论遇到任何困难，他们都有能力创造美好的生活。举个例子，妮可儿，25岁，家境贫寒，家里有个精神失常的母亲，没有父亲，她是四个孩子中的老大。她的人生目标曾多次被她的家庭责任所耽误或因此而偏离正轨。尽管如此，她正在努力攻读大学学位，并且决心达到她的最终目标——拿到一个博士学位。正是她的这份自信，才使她能够顺利度过她那困难重重又混乱无序的童年生活。

至于他们永远也不想长大这一论断，确实，就完成学业、步入婚姻、生儿育女的时间而言，现在的年轻人承担起这些成人责任的时间确实比过去要晚。许多及冠未立的年轻人对于成家立业有所犹豫，并不急于成家。

尽管他们有所犹豫，但是等他们到了三十岁，他们大多数人都会有婚姻伴侣，至少一个孩子，以及一份稳定的长期工作。所以，说他们永远也长不大是不对的。他们大多数人只是不想在二十出头就戴上成人责任的枷锁罢了。他们想要在还有机会的时候享受自由。这没有什么不齿于人的，反而充满智慧，而我们并没有对他们的智慧给予足够的赞赏。

即使关于年轻一代的好消息如此之多，社会上还是对今天的年轻人有一种普遍流行的负面印象——他们是有史以来最槽糕的一代，远远比不上前一代或前两代的年轻人。美国社会普遍认为现在年轻人冷漠无情、不负责任、道德败坏。

奇怪的是，尽管有充分的证据说明事实恰恰相反，这种成见还是一直存在。现在年轻人的暴力犯罪率不到上世纪七、八十年代以及九十年代初期的一半。长久以来，车祸一直是导致二十岁左右的美国年轻人死亡的主要原因。但是，在过去二十年间，这个比率已经下降了近一半。

关于这一代年轻人，不仅是坏事少了，好事也多了。据报告，在过去一年，有将近90%的美国大学新生有参加志愿者工作——有史以来的最高值。此外，申请参加大学毕业生志愿者项目——比如“和平队”、“美国志愿者队”，以及“为教而生”——的人数也达到了历史最高值。

对现在的年轻人持有的种种偏见的根源十分复杂，但是也许一个关键的原因在于许多老一辈的人仍然在用着陈旧的标准来衡量现在年轻人的成长。过去半个世纪以来，社会、经济、技术发生了让人难以置信的变化，而年轻人对于什么才是“正常”的标准变得如此之快以致社会上的其他人还没能跟上。