How to Handle Yourself When You Plan to Pop the Question

By Wu Hanling

I popped the question just the other day, and my girlfriend told me, “First you have to get my boss’s approval, and by my boss I mean my mom, but if she protests then you and I can say our last goodbyes.”

So, I asked her what kind of man her mom liked. She thought about it for a minute and said, “Of course a man just like my father.”

That Saturday I went to my girlfriend’s house for the first time, and as soon as I got there I started furiously cleaning up the house. Then after dinner I scrubbed the dishes squeaky clean. The way I handled myself absolutely had her father grinning from ear to ear, “You’ve taken care of everything for me, now I can relax and watch the game,” he said with a sigh of contentment.

The next day I couldn’t wait to ask my girlfriend the outcome of how I handled myself the night before, “So what did your mom say, was she pleased?”

My girlfriend’s brow furrowed,“My mom had a great impression of you, she said you were just like my dad in that you only know how to clean up messes around the house, and that you’re really cut out to be a janitor, but not her son-in-law.” (FromSatire and Humor.Translation: Chase Coulson)

前几天，我向女友求婚，她告诉我：“先得过我妈这一关，如果她反对，我们只有拜拜了。”

我问：“她喜欢什么样的男人？”

女友想了想，说：“肯定是像我爸那样的呗。”

我问了她爸的嗜好、特长、禀性等，心里有了数。

周六下午，我第一次到女友家。进了门，我就开始做家务；吃过饭，抢着刷碗。

我的这番表现，让女友父亲乐得合不拢嘴：“你把我的事情都做了，让我闲得慌。”

第二天，我迫不及待地问女友：“你妈对我的表现很满意吧？”

女友叹了一口气，说：“我妈对你的印象非常不好，说你太像我爸，只知道干家务，一副没出息的样子。”（摘自《讽刺与幽默》）