辞宴书 On Refusing an Invitation to a Banquet

文/贾平凹 译/胡宗锋 罗宾·吉尔班克

By Jia Pingwa

老兄：今晚粤菜馆的饭局我就不去了。

My older brother:I shan’t be attending the Cantonese style banquet tonight.

[2]在座的有那么多领导和大款，我虽也是局级，但文联主席是穷官、闲官，别人不装在眼里，我也不把我瞧得上，哪里敢称作同僚？他们知道我而没见过我，我没有见过人家也不知道人家具体职务。

[2]There may be so many senior leaders and nouveau riche there this evening.Although I’m also a bureau head, the Chairman of the Federation of Literature and Arts Circles has little chance to peddle his place for profit; he isn’t even kept overly occupied.Others never have me in their line of vision and I too look down upon myself.How can I sit in their company?True enough, they know who I am but have never met me before.I’ve never made their acquaintance and cannot even be sure of their specific ranks.

[3]若去了，他们西装革履我一身休闲，他们坐小车我骑自行车，他们提手机我背个挎包。于我觉得寒酸，于人家又觉得我不合群，这饭就吃得不自在了。

[3]If I were to go, all of them would be wearing Western dinner jackets, whereas I would dress casually.They would be chauffeured over there, whereas I would choose to cycle.They would brandish cellular phones,whereas I would have nothing but my hold-all.I would feel humble in and of myself, whereas they might sense I was being unsociably aloof.All of us would be ill-at-ease as we dined.

[4]要吃饭和熟人吃得香，爱吃的多吃，不爱吃的少吃，可以打嗝儿，可以放屁，可以说趣话骂娘，和生人能这样吗？和领导能这样吗？知道的能原谅我是懒散惯了，不知道的还以为我对人家不恭，为吃一顿饭惹出许多事情来，这就犯不着了。

[4]If you want to eat, just stick with your friends.The food will taste delicious then.You can gorge on more of what you like and spurn what you are not keen on.You can belch, fart,curse, and jape while eating.Can you do these things among strangers? Can you do these things among senior leaders? Familiar folk are inclined to be forgiving because they know that this is my way.Those who are not may very well conclude that I am being disrespectful.It is not worth going to a meal when so much trouble could ensue.

[5]酒席上谁是上座，谁是次座，那是不能乱了秩序的，且常常上座的领导到得最迟，菜端上来得他到来方能开席。我是半年未吃海鲜之类，见那龙虾海蟹就急不可耐，若不自觉筷先伸了过去如何是好？即便开席，你知道我向来吃速快，吃相难看，只顾闷头吃下去。若顺我意，让满座难堪，也丢了文人的斯文；若强制自己，为吃一顿饭强制自己，这又是为什么来着？

[5]There are, moreover, strict, inviolable rules about who should be seated at the head of the table and who should sit immediately to his side.The senior leader who is given priority has the prerogative to always turn up late.The table may have been laid, but the others cannot touch the dishes before he arrives.I’ve now gone half a year without eating seafood.When I spy lobsters and crabs I cannot restrain myself.What would happen if I couldn’t wait and unconsciously stretched out my chopsticks first? You know, even after a banquet has begun I cannot help but bolt my food, my table manners are unsightly, and my mind is fixated on eating.If I were to act on impulse,that would make the others feel awkward and rob me of the gentility of the man of letters.If I had to try and practice self-control, what would be the point of sharing a meal and then not be one’s self?

[6]席间敬酒，先敬谁，顺序不能乱，谁也不得漏，我又怎么记得住？而且又要说敬酒词，我生来口讷，说得得体我不会，说得不得体又落个傲慢。敬领导要起立，一人敬全席起立，我腿有疾，几十次起来坐下又起来，我难以支持。

[6]During the rounds of toasts, who should be the first to be saluted? That order too is inviolable.You cannot skip inadvertently over any single party.How could I be expected to com-mit all of this to memory? Furthermore, formal words must embellish a toast.I was not born articulate.I don’t know how to express myself correctly.If I were to express myself incorrectly, people would assume me to be proud and distant.When we offer toasts to senior leaders we are required to stand up.All of those present must get to their feet.I have something wrong with my leg.Rising and sitting down dozens of times that’s truly unbearable!

[7]我又不善笑，你知道，从来照相都不笑的。在席上当然要笑，那笑就易于皮笑肉不笑，就要冷落席上的气氛。

[7]What is more, I am not good at smiling.I don’t even smile when I’m having my photograph taken.At the banquet I would be compelled to beam broadly, of course, but that expression would be a movement of the skin not felt deep down in the flesh.In this case, an air of incongruousness would hang over the proceedings.

[8]更为难的是我自患病后已戒了酒。若领导让我喝，我不喝拂他的兴，喝了又得伤我身子。即使是你事先在我杯中盛白水，一旦发现，那就全没了意思。

[8]To make matters harder still, I quit drinking because of an ailment.If the senior leaders were to propose a toast, my refusal would deflate their hospitable spirits.Should I knock the stuff back, that would imperil my health.One might simply fill my liquor cup with plain water, but once the ruse had been unmasked everything would be rendered meaningless.

[9]官场的事我不懂，写文章又常惹领导不满，席间人家若指导起文学上的事，我该不该掏了笔来记录？该不该和他辩论？说是不是，说不是也不是。我这般年纪了，在外随便惯了，在家也充大惯了，让我一副奴相去逢迎，百般殷勤做媚态，一时半会儿难以学会。

[9]I am ignorant when it comes to officialdom.My articles always put officials on edge.During the banquet if the senior leaders were to deliver advice on writing, ought I to take out a notebook and jot down everything they said? Ought I to argue with them or not? It wouldn’t be proper for me to say either“yes”or“no.”I have reached that age when I’ve become accustomed to feeling comfortable outside and I’ve grown used to being the head of my own household.I’d struggle to act like a slave at the drop of a hat, affecting humble actions and flattering words.

[10]而你设一局饭，花销几千，忙活数日，图的是皆大欢喜，若让我去尴尬了人家，这饭局就白设了，我怎么对得住朋友？而让我难堪，这你于心不忍，所以，还是放我过去，免了吧。

[10]You have prepared for this banquet,swallowing up thousands of yuan and many days.The purpose is to make everybody happy.If I were to go and be the object of embarrassment, all of that would have been in vain.How could I not regret what I had done? That would be a source of acute discomfort.You couldn’t bear to see this happen.So, let me decline and please forgive me.

[11]几时我来做东，回报你的心意，咱坐小饭馆，一壶酒，两个人，三碗饭，四盘菜，五六十分钟吃一顿！

[11]Sometime in the future I shall treat you to a meal.We can sit in a small inn, order one pot of liquor—just us two chaps, with three bowls of rice and four dishes.You may tuck in heartily for fifty minutes or an hour!

[12]如果领导知道了要请我而我未去，你就说我突然病了，病得很重。这虽然对我不吉利，但我宁愿重病，也免得我去坏了你的饭局而让我长久心中愧疚啊。

[12]If the senior leaders find out that you did invite me but I declined to go, you can tell them that I’ve gone down with a sudden, serious illness.Although that would be an inauspicious lie, I’d rather be seriously ill than attend the event and spoil it.The pity would well up from the bottom of my heart and last inordinately.