Chinese Personal Relationships

By+Chen+Qing

china is a typical relationship-based society. All business dealings and personal associations are based on relationships. Chinese personal relationships are so subtle and profound that many people do not necessarily understand them clearly even though they have spent years studying them. It is essential for those who want to interact with Chinese people to know the structure， influence and taboos of relationships.

Personal relationships

Chinese people see personal relationships as a resource of intangible wealth. People with good interpersonal relationships are popular and enjoy valuable social connections， but those without such relationships do not. In todays business world， you will do business more smoothly if you have wide ranging social connections and good personal relationships. Everybody needs help at certain times and if you receive help from others， you owe them a favor and you should remember to make it up sometime in the future. Conversely， those who have received your help will give you a hand in return when you are in need.

Personal relationships are also very much a double-edged sword. On one hand， good connections bring convenience to personal life； on the other hand， such relationships may also greatly pressure Chinese people as the cost of such relationships is very high. Although personal relationships are very important， they have deep utilitarian overtones and may carry heavy burdens as people have to put in much time， emotion and even money to develop them. Due to such factors， most people find personal relationships complicated and have mixed feelings about them.

Face

Chinese people， whether they are citizens or emperors， hate to lose face. It is a tradi tion passed down from ancient to modern times. Face is about a persons dignity， character and reputation. Being keen on face saving is a sign of self-esteem， while giving face to others means you have respect for them. Thats why saving face is considered to be so important in daily life. If you happen to have some Chinese customers， do remember not to make them lose face.

Some people say that face is an intangible asset for businesspeople and that it is also the symbol of their social status. Having face means dignity and ability while losing face means ineptitude and a poor reputation. It is a shameful and frustrating thing to lose face in Chinese culture.

Face is an integral part of peoples daily life. With face， things move smoothly. Giving face to others means that you respect their power， status or the relationship between you. Conversely， not giving face to others means that you are abusing your power or status and showing disrespect for them.

How can you give face to others？ For example， take good care of visitors at home； handle all connections well and solve problems quickly to save your social connections the trouble of dealing with such issues. Dealing with Chinese people is a continuous and subtle process in which you must discern their likes and dislikes， respect their identity and status and learn how to give them face.

Superior-subordinate relationships

It is a tradition in China to respect elders， teachers and superiors， which is also an important criterion for judging whether you are educated and cultivated. Handling superior-subordinate relationships well is good for both your work and life. To put it simply， handling such relationships well shows your respect for the status of your superiors and your wish not to challenge or overstep their power. This is applicable to every aspect of life in China because nobody can avoid dealing with their superiors. Therefore， maintaining a good relationship with your superiors is quite important.

Western people are more individualized while China is a country concerned about a greater level of cooperation and solidarity. The saying， “The tree that grows higher than the forest will be the first to be destroyed by the wind，” tells us that one should get on well with others and respects the superior-subordinate order， lest they find themselves in trouble. Handling superior-subordinate relationships well will result in positive outcomes， while handling such relationships poorly will upset the entire company.