Nature as the Third Parent第三位家长

侯冬意

Right now my husband and I are in the thick of raising our two little wildlings1， both are under five years old. These early years have been filled with joy， but they havent been the easiest in a lot of ways. So many of you out there are in the same position， and it seems like everyone I talk to is missing the village. Sadly we probably wont get back to that level of community in our life time， but that doesnt mean we are completely alone.

现在我和我的丈夫全身心投入到抚养我们的两个小“野人”中，两个都是五岁以下。这些早年的日子充满了欢乐，但从许多方面来讲却不怎么容易。有很多人都处于相同的情况，看起来和我交谈过的每个人好像都对这个村庄依依不舍。可惜有生之年我们很可能没有机会再回到那种层面的社区，但那并不意味着我们是完全孤独的。

These past few weeks spent watching my kids play in the summer light， a thought has slowly taken shape in my heart and profoundly2 shifted my experience as their mother. Nature is their third parent.

在过去的几周时间里，我看着孩子们在夏日的阳光下玩耍，有个想法已经慢慢在我的心中形成并深刻地改变了我作为孩子母亲的经验，那就是——自然是他们的第三位家长。

When the children scale3 rocks and branches， nature is helping them build resilience4 and strength.

当孩子们在攀爬岩石和树干的时候，自然正在帮助他们增强韧性和力量。

When they play in the mud5， nature is nurturing their creativity and building their immunity6.

當他们在泥里玩的时候，自然正在培养他们的创造力和提高他们的免疫力。

When they encounter death of little life on our farm， nature is teaching my children about the fragility7 and value of life.

当他们在我们的农场中遭遇小生命死亡的时候，自然正在教会我的孩子们关于生命的脆弱和价值。

Suddenly I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I didnt have to do it all. I didnt have to be everything.

突然，我感觉像从肩上卸下了一个重担。我不必做一切。我不必是一切。

When the flowers bloom， my children know beauty.

花儿绽放的时候，我女儿知道了什么是美。

When they forage8 for wild edibles9， they are being fed and nourished10.

当寻找可食用的野生食材时，他们获得了充足的食物和营养。

When the seasons shift， they experience impermanence11， patience and change.

季节转换的时候，他们体验着无常、耐心和变化。

Nature has been there beside through it all， occupying the kids when they get “bored”， aiding12 in their emotional and physical development， and most importantly giving them the space and freedom to play.

至始至终自然一直就在那里，在孩子们“无聊”的时候让他们忙碌起来，给予他们情感和身体成长方面的帮助，最重要的是，给了他们发挥的空间和自由。

It might not be the traditional village of our dreams， but the closer we get to nature the more chance we have of recognizing it as one of our biggest allies13 on this parenting journey. Only in modern times has nature been passively backdropped14 against our busy lives. In the past， nature was characterized and understood as a force， an active participant playing a vital role within the context of the family and wider community. And shes still there， patiently waiting for us to ask for help.

这可能不是我们梦想中的传统村庄，但我们越接近大自然，我们就越有机会认识到她是我们这次育儿之旅的最大盟友之一。只有在现代社会，自然才会被动地作为我们忙碌生活的背景。在过去，自然被描述和理解为一种力量，是一个在家庭范围内和更广泛的社会群落中发挥了至关重要的作用的积极参与者。如今她依然在那儿，耐心地等待我们去寻求帮助。endprint