“As You Wish”A Combination of External Flexibility and Internal Integrity

A phrase often on the Chinese lips is “As you wish.” When there is a visiting guest at someones home， a host asks， “What would you like to drink， tea， coffee or something else？” The guest may answer，“As you wish.” This does not mean the guest would not mind what you serve. It inadvertently shows their respect for the host.

In another instance， you may ask your superior how to deal with a matter. Your superior says， “As you wish.” This shows that your superior has full confidence in you and if everything works out fine， your superior would appreciate more of your abilities. If anything went wrong， the appraisal of your abilities would fall in the eyes of your superior. Thus， it can be concluded that there is a lot of knowledge behind “As you wish.”

By such a phrase， we mean what Confucian philosophy advocates：“Anything will do.” Confucian ideas suggest that we should be adaptable under different circumstances. People are changing and situations vary. If we speak our mind without much thought， it may not be respectful or benevolent to others. We may as well say “As you wish”first to allow for some alternatives. “As you wish” does not mean “carelessness.”We hope neither to be treated carelessly nor to do so to others.

This also reflects a Chinese way of dealing with things - a good combination of inner integrity and external flexibility. The inner integrity shows ones adherence to principles， ideas and beliefs， while the external flexibility displays ones adaptation to the outside world， aiming to remove obstacles and conflicts as much as possible.

According to Zhou Bi Suan Jing， an ancient Chinese work of mathematics and astrology， the square represents earth， and the circle represents heaven. In ancient China， these representations symbolized a constant pursuit for a perfect and everlasting life force. The“circle” symbolizes a body of knowledge for Taoists to adapt to change， while the“square” refers to the Confucian ideal for character cultivation. We may conclude that the square and the circle as well as Confucianism and Taoism form the mainstay of traditional Chinese culture.“Square” or “integrity” is central to humanity， while “circle” or “flexibility” is fundamental to everyday life. They are closely connected.

The circle does not mean cunningness， but a kind of flexibility， being kind and generous to others. The circle has the strongest elasticity， with the least pressure yet largest tension. The Chinese adopt the circles characteristics as their principles to develop strong adaptation.

The square does not mean being rigid， but rather following rules or laws. Over many years， the Chinese have gained a better understanding of such principles as “nothing can be accomplished without norms or standards.” The Chinese can cope with shifting events by sticking to a fundamental principle by following：“neither riches nor honors can corrupt him； neither poverty nor lowly condition can make him swerve from principle； neither threats nor force can bend him.”

People can be invincible in dealing with social issues if they skillfully use the square-circle principle. With a seemingly casual manner， one can become flexible and adapt to changes. We can neither casually say “As you wish” on the one hand， nor casually interpret it. A refined Chinese with a sense of propriety would never say that in a casual manner.