A Study of Gender Differences in Language

Chen+Xuefei

【Abstract】Men and women show great differences in language use， from speech patterns， aims to body language. This phenomenon do have some causes， this article will explore the gender differences and their causes in language to help people grasp communication skills better in order to avoid unnecessary misunderstandings.

【Key words】language； communication； gender differences

With the highly developed science and technology， todays world has become smaller and smaller， so we have much more opportunities than ever before to communicate with others. Only armed with excellent communication skills， can we communicate with others in different gender correctly and effectively. Since men and women are the main roles in communication， thus exploring gender differences between them can help us grasp those skills and avoid misunderstandings as possibly as we can.

Chapter 1 Gender Differences in Language Use

1.1 Gender Differences Existing in Language

Any of us has different styles of communicating with other people. Our styles depend on a lot of things： where we are from， how we were brought up， educational background， age and it also can depend on our gender. I am sure that you have found it challenging at times to understand someone when conversing with them. Has it also happened to you that talking with a person from the opposite sex is especially difficult？ If the answer is yes， this article will help you.

Nowadays， allowing to the trend of globalization， it is necessary to get the key to effective communication between different people. We have more chances than ever before to communicate with people from all over the world， and language is the carriage of information. Are there any differences in their use of language？ Yes， there are. How do men and women communicate clearly when most of their ways of communication are so different？ If we want to communicate with each other effectively， we must have a better knowledge of gender differences in language and the causes of them. It is common that some people quarrel with others or just cause more troubles when they want to help. This kind of things can be avoided if we know gender differences in language.

How to avoid these misunderstandings？ After exploring the differences in gender language， priority should be given to promoting communicative skills.

1.2 Communicative Misunderstandings and Some Hints

To communicate effectively requires that we have certain knowledge of communicative skills. We must know how to gather appropriate information about strangers， and have some knowledge of group differences， personal similarities and know how strangers are interpreting messages. If we know how to gather information， we can gain other types of knowledge from our interactions with strangers. And if we know how strangers are interpreting messages， we can express ourselves properly with our correct prediction. Thus， unnecessary misunderstandings can be avoided.

Talking with strangers or some foreign friends， we may be nervous and do not know what to do when ambiguity comes. To manage our anxiety， we must be able to tolerate ambiguity and be able to manage our anxiety. To manage our uncertainty， we must be able to empathize， be able to adapt our behavior and be able to make accurate predictions and explanations. Knowing about these， we can feel released and try our best to achieve successful communication.

1.3 Different Gender Different Language

Men and women not only look different physically but also show a lot of differences in communication. As we all know， women are tender than men， they talk in a different style， use different words and sentence structures and so forth. Their different uses of language lead to gender language. They may use words differently， tone differently and address differently. To achieve effective communication between each other， a better understanding of gender differences in language is urgently needed.

It is necessary to gain enough knowledge about different uses of language between men and women. When doing this successfully， effective communication can be achieved. As we know， different gender use language differently， here I call gender language， which means women and men have their different uses of language， which shows in language， especially in their speech patterns and speech aims.

According to William B. Gudykunst：

Communication is a complex human practice that encompasses two interrelated aspects of social life. The first aspect is culturally distinctive ways of communicating—the use of particular means and meanings of communication that can be found in particular times， places， and social milieus. In this sense， communication is communicative conduct that is infused with the particulars of cultures. The second aspect is the role of communication in performing the cultural， or communal， function—the workings of communication in constituting the communal life of a community and in providing individuals the opportunity to participate in， identify with， and negotiate that life.

1.4 Speech Patterns

As to speech patterns， men and women tend to speak in different patterns， which appear mainly in their different choices of words， tone， and sentence structure.

As to words， according to the works of Lakoff， womens diction has two main characteristics： concrete words and weakened malediction. For example， when expressing surprise or anger， a woman will often use words such as goodness， dear and so forth， while a man will use shit， damn and so on. Furthermore， women have a better sense of color than men do. For instance， such words as mauve （紫紅色），beige（米色）or else are often used by women and they are seldom occupied by men.

In terms of tone， women have higher and shrill voice， while men lower and husky. In a talk， a woman will often start with can， would， may and other modal verbs in a rising tone. On the other hand， a man will just say directly in a falling tone. The former shows politeness and lack of confidence， while the latter shows determination and power. In a word， men are direct and women are indirect in communication. Men mumble many of their words and tend to be sloppy in their pronunciation of words. Men have a tendency to speak in a lower tone and rarely change from that tone to any others. Women on the other hand speak in five different tones， which makes them sound more emotional. Women also speak more fluidly， while men use more fragmented sentences. Men are more commanding in their style of speech， however women ask for things to be done in a more polite manner. Men use more foul language， slang and make simpler， more understandable requests， but women do all of these things exactly the opposite.

Concerning sentence structures， men always use imperative ones to directly express what they want and give orders. On the contrary， women will often use interrogative or exclamatory ones to show politeness and friendship to others.

1.5 Speech Aims

When we talk， we want to express something， and make others know something. Mens talk is just like report talk and womens is rapport talk because of their different communication aims. Men are more likely to engage in what is referred to as report talk， which is characterized by a focus on content. Men talk about public matters， such as sports or politics. During report talk， people will demonstrate their knowledge about a subject and will give general information about the topic. Mens talk is in the self-enhancement style which emphasizes the importance of boasting about ones accomplishments and abilities so that they can gain respect and face honor from others. On the other hand， rapport talk is designed to establish relationships and make people in relationships feel closer to each other. Women engage in this kind of talk more often than men. Rapport talk deals with more intimate matters than report talk and includes topics such as family and marital relationships. Women are in the self-effacement style which emphasizes the importance of humbling oneself via verbal restraints， hesitations， modest talk， and the use of self-deprecation concerning ones effort or performance so that they can establish friendship with others. （Stella Ting-Toomey，1999）. Men seek control， and thus tend to talk over and interrupt others in conversations. Men value independence， thus they tend to take control and direct the course of a conversation and strive to illustrate dominance and superiority. They prefer solution-oriented arguments rather than emotion-based conversation， thus they limit personal and emotional expression.Women seek to develop relationships and emotional connections while communicating， so they tend to share information about themselves more openly compared to their male counterparts.

To be simpler， men talk to achieve the aim of gaining face honor， while women gaining friendship.

1.6 Nonverbal Communicating

Men and women have a very different nonverbal way of communicating. For this reason， it is very hard for one another to understand what the opposite sex is trying to say. Mens body language is much more reserved when talking to women. Men try not to make eye contact； they usually stay father away from women when talking to them. Men avoid other peoples body space while talking， tend to recline or sit back when talking with someone， and they are much more fidgety while listening to someone else. These cases all show the impression of disinterest. On the contrary， women are completely different. They give others the feeling that they are much more interested in what the speaker has to say. Men interrupt others quite frequently， while women rarely interrupt someone. Men rarely pick up on others nonverbal cues they try to give off. Men， even when interested， tend to frown and squint while listening， which gives off a feeling of disinterest， but women smile and nod as if they are paying attention to every word that is being said to them.

Men tend to cock their head to the side and look at the other person from an angle when listening， while women tend to look at the other person directly facing them with their head and eyes facing forward when listening. Men provide fewer facial expressions in feedback and fewer reactions， while women more. Men tend to display frowning and squinting when listening. Women display smiling and head-nodding when listening. Men stare more in negative interaction， while women lower their eyes more to avoid gazing in negative interaction. Seen from the above differences， men and women do speak in different ways.

Chapter 2 Causes of Gender Differences in Language

After exploring the gender differences in language， we must wonder why do these differences exist. There are many causes of the gender language： physical ones and social ones. Since men and women live in society and communicate with each other in society， the social causes are the most important causes， and here I will explore them.

2.1 Labor Division

Labor division can lead to gender differences in language. Since long ago， men and women have been divided to different task groups. For example， in ancient China， it is common that men sow and women weave. The division of labor is originally divided by biological differences since ancient era. Women are physically weaker than men and take responsibility of bear. Therefore they more often stay at home. Then， men have to find a way feeding the family， hunting food and provide their securities.

In earlier society， men were major in hunting， farming and other hard labor work， while women mainly gave birth to， raised children and did the housework. This labor division is inherited even till today. For example， the word housewife means those women who stay at home and do household work， and the word breadwinner refers to those men who work to raise a family outside. As to the cause of this labor division， just because men were and are bigger and stronger than women. Even today， many women are successful in many circles and may be even more successful， which still can not eliminate peoples deep-rooted thought—men should work out and women should work at home. In the second place， despite biological differences， characteristics of women and men are unlike.

This kind of labor division， of course， will make men more and more confident and women more and more conservative， which will appear in their language.

2.2 Social Status

Except for labor division， men and women have different status in society. In matrilineal society， women were dominant in economic life. So women had a higher social status than men. With the development of productive forces， men turned from fishing and hunting to agriculture and bred. Because men were stronger than women and women took much time and efforts to care children. Gradually， men became more and more important in social economy and had dominance over women， who had to depend on them. Women lost their social， economic and family status， even their right of name. The different labor division leads to different social status. It has been clear in ancient and modern society. Nowadays although women are employed outside， people still persist that women are mainly in the role of wife and mother.

Men and women have different status， habits and functions in society. Men are often the economic resources of families. They are the pillars of families and women will depend on men to make choices. This will cause men to use tough and taboo moods and women use soft moods. Men intend to control things even women， while women seem obedient.

Since men are dominant in politics and economy from long before， they show greater superiority over women. They talk just to enhance their social status and gain face honor， while women seem more submissive and talk to show respect to establish friendship with others.

We can use language to signify status differences such as the selective use of formal versus informal pronouns in different languages. For example， speakers of languages such as French， German， and Spanish have to consistantly choose between a more formal or more intimate form of address. For instance， French has vous and tu， German has sie and du， and Spanish has used and tu （Stella Ting-Toomey，1999）.

Obviously， differences in social status between men and women cause the differences in their language. That is why men express things directly and give report talk to gain respect and face honor， while women express things indirectly and give rapport talk to gain friendship and sympathy.

2.3 Psychological Factors

Apart from the causes of labor division and social status， another cause is psychological factor. Peoples psychology changes when the environment differs. For example， when it comes to remember things， men prefer to understanding before memory， while women the contrary. Moreover， men are logic-oriented while women are emotion-oriented. To make it clearer， here is another example. If a man is fired one day， he will ask why and express his thoughts directly to his boss， while a woman may firstly feel ashamed or angry， but she will not express her anger and leave instantly.

Men do have an emotional reaction， but it is secondary. A woman's first reaction to most situations is emotional： I'm angry， I'm upset and I don't know yet. It is a personal， more subjective and gut-level reaction. A woman automatically attaches herself to a situation and reacts emotionally to every detail in that situation...She does have a logical reaction， but it is secondary.

In everyday life， clearly， men are dominant in physics， politics and some other jobs requiring high technology. On the other hand， women do mainly some service jobs like nurse and so on. That is because men are prominent in logic and they are usually determined and brave. Differently， women are good at language learning and some other memory-oriented things. Moreover， men has stronger desire of possession and controlling than women.

These psychology differences will cause gender differences in language. Men want to control their life， and just speak out what they think. Unlike women， they put logic before emotion.

Chapter 3 Conclusion

The subject of gender differences appears to have engaged peoples' curiosity for as long as people have been writing down their thoughts， from as far back as the writing of the creation of Adam and Eve， to its current popular expression in books such as Men are from Mars， Women are from Venus. The assertion that men and women communicate in different ways， about different things， and for different reasons seems to go un-argued and is accepted as true by many.

From the above， it is clear that communication is not that easy. To well understand and get well with each other， most importantly， to achieve effective communication with people from all over the world in this global village， which is changing fast， we must master a good understanding of gender differences in language and know how to manage misunderstandings. Gaining certain knowledge and grasp certain skills in communication will minimize misunderstandings to achieve effective communication.

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作者简介：陈雪飞，女，江苏泰州人，广西民族大学教育科学学院教育管理硕士在读。