一言难尽的高中岁月

By+Frank+T.+McAndrewe

Sometimes I think high school is one long hazing activity： If you are tough enough to survive this， theyll let you become an adult. I hope its worth it.

有時我觉得高中生活是一个历时漫长的捉弄游戏：你如果足够坚强，挺过去，就会成长为成年人。我希望这一切都值得。

—美国畅销书作家Laurie Halse Anderson

For better or worse， many of us never forget high school： the unrequited1） romantic crushes， chronic embarrassment， desperate struggles for popularity， sexual awakening， parental pressure and， above all else， competition—social， athletic， academic.

Theres even an entire genre of entertainment that revolves2） around high school. Beverly Hills 90210， Mean Girls， Heathers， The Breakfast Club and Fast Times at Ridgemont High all revisit the conflict and angst of these years.

What is it about this period of our lives that makes it seem more meaningful and memorable than any other？

My research experience as an evolutionary psychologist leads me to believe that many factors interact to make our teenage memories so vivid. But the main driver is the collision between the hardwiring of our brains that took place across several million of years of evolution and the odd social bubble created by high school， which poses an unprecedented social challenge to our prehistoric minds.

In other words， the world that we evolved to be successful in （a small， stable group of interrelated people of various ages） is very different from the holding pen full of teenagers brimming with hormones.

“The Reminiscence3） Bump”

Some look back on high school as the best time of their life and pine4） for those “good old days.” Whether or not this was actually the case， it turns out there may have been some evolutionary advantages to having a rosy view of the past.

But most of us remember high school with an emotional mixture of longing， regret， joy and embarrassment. And strong emotions equal strong memories; even the music from those years gets imprinted on our brain like nothing that comes later.

Memory researchers have， in fact， identified something called “the reminiscence bump，” which shows that our strongest memories come from things that happened to us between the ages of 10 and 30.

What is it about this time of life that makes it stand out from the rest of our years？ Part of it is undoubtedly due to changes in the brains sensitivity to certain types of information during adolescence. Emotions signal to the brain that important events are happening， and the teen years are chock full of5） important social feedback about ones skills， attractiveness， status and desirability as a mate. This is precisely the stuff we need to pay attention to in order to successfully play the cards6） we have been dealt7） and to become socially and reproductively successful.

A Dog-eat-dog World

Memory research may offer hints about why the mental snapshots of our high school years remain so vivid even decades later. But evolutionary psychology can also help explain why so much meaning is attached to these years and why they play such an important role in who we become.

For example， theres a reason teenagers often strive to be popular.

As far as scientists can tell， our prehistoric forebears8） lived in relatively small groups. Most people would live out their entire life in this group， and ones social standing within it was determined during adolescence. How much one was admired as a warrior or hunter， how desirable one was perceived to be as a mate and how much trust and esteem was accorded9） to one by others—all of this was sorted out in young adulthood. A person deemed to be a loser at 18 was unlikely to rise to a position of prominence at 40. Thus， from an evolutionary perspective， the competition of the teen years had lifelong repercussions10）.

Of course， today， those who have unsavory11） high school experiences can move to new places after graduation and start over. However， even though we may be consciously aware of this， the psychological buttons that get pushed in the adolescent brain make us become consumed with12） our social lives during this period.

Popularity can become an obsession， since youll be ranked against the people in your own age cohort13） for the rest of your life. After all， your status as an adult primarily depends upon how you stack up14） compared with them， not with others.

Also， strong pressures to conform ensure that you do not stray15） too far from a friend groups values. Ostracism16） from the group in prehistoric times was tantamount17） to a death sentence.

It all requires forging alliances and demonstrating loyalty to others. The result is a splintering18） of the social world into competing cliques19） that grind each other up in the gears of the social hierarchy.

Mom， Stop Bugging Me！

Back home， conflict with parents is usually inevitable. Parents want their children to succeed， but they usually have a more long-term perspective than that of their teen.

So the things that the parent thinks that the child should be concerned with （preparing for a career and developing important life skills） and the things that the child is emotionally driven to actually be concerned with （being popular and having fun） are often at odds. Parents usually realize where the parent-offspring tension comes from. Kids dont.

Meanwhile， hormones20） fuel the sort of “showing off” that would have increased ones attractiveness in early societies. In young men we still reward， to some extent， the things that would have been essential for success in hunting and combat thousands of years ago： the willingness to take risks， fighting ability， speed and the ability to throw with velocity21） and accuracy. Young women will showcase their youth and fertility. Beauty， unfortunately， continues to be a significant criterion by which they are judged.

Reunion Angst

In earlier times， because you had a personal connection with nearly everyone in your group， the ability to remember details about the temperament， predictability and past behavior of peers had a huge payoff. There would have been little use for a mind designed to engage in abstract statistical thinking about large numbers of strangers.

In todays world， while it is still important to keep tabs on22） known individuals， we also face new challenges. We interact with strangers on a daily basis， so theres a need to predict how theyll behave： Will this person try to swindle me or can he or she be trusted？ Is this someone important that I should get to know or a nobody that I can safely ignore？

Its a task many of us find difficult because our brains werent really wired to do this， and we fall back on23） cognitive shortcuts， such as stereotyping， as a way to cope.

Natural selection instead shaped an innate curiosity about specific people—and a memory to store this information. We needed to remember who treated us well and who didnt， and the more emotional the memory， the less likely we are to forget it. Its tough to forget when the person you thought of as a close friend publicly snubbed24） you， or the time that you caught another trusted friend flirting with your boyfriend or girlfriend.

The result is a strong propensity25） for holding grudges26）. It protects us from being taken advantage of again but can also make for some uncomfortable， anxiety-inducing moments at high school reunions.

To further complicate things， high school is probably the last time in life when people of all sorts are thrown together for no other reason than they are the same age and live in the same area. Yes， high schools are often segregated by economic background and race. But most high schoolers will still encounter more day-to-day diversity than they will later in life.

After high school， studies have shown that people begin to sort themselves out according to intelligence， political values， occupational interests and a wide range of other social screening devices.

At the same time， however， the people you knew in high school remain your default group for engaging in social comparison.

According to “Social Comparison Theory”， we figure out how good we are and develop a sense of personal worth by comparing ourselves with others; the more similar those others are， the better we can gauge27） our own strengths and weaknesses. Because your high school classmates will always be the same age as you—and because they started out in the same place—theres inherently a degree of interest in finding out what happened to them later in life， if for no other reason than to see how your own life stacks up.

Given all this， its no wonder that the English Romantic poet Robert Southey28） once wrote that the “the first 20 years are the longest half of your life， no matter how long you might live.”

无论是好是坏，我们很多人永远忘不了高中时代：无果的暗恋、时常发生的难堪、人气的激烈争夺、性意识的觉醒、父母施加的压力以及比这一切都要命的竞争——社交、运动和学业方面的竞争。

甚至有一整个类型的娱乐节目是围绕高中展开的。《飞跃比佛利》《贱女孩》《希德姊妹帮》《早餐俱乐部》和《开放的美国学府》无不是对高中那些年的苦恼与忧虑的再现。

是什么让我们人生中的这个阶段看起来比其他阶段更富内涵、更加难忘呢？

作为一名进化心理学家，我的研究经验使我相信，青少年时期的记忆之所以格外鲜活，是因为多种因素的相互作用，但主要的驱动因素是经过我们大脑几百万年才进化形成的先天构造和高中催生的奇特人际泡沫之间存在冲突，这种冲突給我们史前形成的头脑带来了前所未有的社交挑战。

换句话说，我们通过进化在其中求得功成名就的世界与高中那棚圈一般的世界迥然不同。前者为不同年龄、相互关联的人们组成的稳定的小群体，而后者则集聚着浑身涌动着荷尔蒙的少男少女。

“记忆隆起”

在有些人的记忆里，高中是他们人生最美的年华，他们怀念那些“流金岁月”。不论事实是否真的如此，研究表明，从进化的角度来看，乐观地看待过去会有一些好处。

不过，我们大多数人忆起高中生活时，心中还是五味杂陈，怀念、遗憾、喜悦和难堪兼而有之。强烈的情感等同于深刻的记忆，就连高中时听过的音乐都牢记在脑海里，无后来者能及。

事实上，记忆研究人员发现了一个叫做“记忆隆起”的现象，该现象表明，我们对于10～30岁这个年龄段发生的事情记忆最为深刻。

究竟是什么使得人生的这个阶段比其他阶段更突出呢？部分原因无疑是青少年时期大脑对于某些类型的信息的敏感度有所变化。情感提示大脑正在发生重要的事情，而青少年时代充斥着各种重要的社会反馈，涉及一个人的技能、魅力、地位以及作为伴侣的受欢迎度。而这恰恰是我们为了精明处事、成功社交、顺利繁衍所需要关注的东西。

你争我夺的世界

记忆方面的研究或许可以提供一些线索，揭示为什么几十年之后高中的日子仍能在我们脑海里留下如此生动的画面。但进化心理学还能解释为什么高中那些年会被赋予如此多的意义，以及为什么高中会在我们成长为什么样的人方面扮演着如此重要的角色。

例如，青少年常力争获得好人缘有其原因。

就科学家们所知道的，远古时期我们的祖先以相对较小的群体聚居。大多数人一辈子都会待在这个群体里，而个人在此群体中的地位在青少年时期就已确定。一个人战斗或狩猎的本领有多令人艳羡？一个人对异性的吸引力有多强？一个人能从别人那里获得多少信任和尊重？所有这些都会在青年时期决出分晓。一个在18岁的时候被认为是失败者的人不太可能会在40岁的时候出人头地。因此，从进化的角度来看，青少年时期的竞争会对一个人产生终身影响。

当然，现如今，高中有过不愉快经历的人可以在毕业之后换个地方，从头来过。但是，即便我们清楚地认识到这一点，在青春期，我们大脑中按下的那个心理按钮仍会使我们在这段时间沉迷于社交生活。

受欢迎这个问题会让人着迷，因为你在余生都会被拿来跟你同龄的那群人对比。毕竟你成年之后的地位主要取决于你跟这群同龄人相比干得如何，而非与其他人比较。

此外，合群的巨大压力会确保你的观念不会与你朋友圈的观念偏离太远。远古时代，一个人若是遭到群体的排挤无异于被判死刑。

种种这些无不要求人们结成同盟并向盟友展示忠诚。结果就是社交世界分裂成彼此竞争的团伙，在社会等级的齿轮上相互碾压。

妈，别烦我！

回到家，通常难免与父母发生冲突。父母希望子女成龙成凤，但是与身处青春期的子女相比，他们的眼光往往更长远。

所以，父母认为子女应该操心的事情（为工作作准备、培养重要的生活技能）和子女受情感驱使而实际关注的事情（拼人气，寻开心）常常不相一致。父母一般会意识到他们与子女的紧张关系源自何处，而子女并不清楚。

同时，荷尔蒙激发了“炫耀行为”，若在人类早期社会，这可能会增加一个人的魅力。就年轻男子而言，我们多少仍会赏识几千年前在狩猎和战斗中取胜所必需的那些品质：甘于冒险，有战斗力，速度惊人，投掷又快又准。年轻女子则会展示她们的青春和生育能力。不幸的是，容颜仍是评价她们的一个重要标准。

同学聚会的焦虑

远古时候，你跟你所在群体的几乎每个人都有个人往来，这样一来，能够详细记住同伴的性格脾气、预期的反应和过往的行为就会大有裨益。对于那个时候的人来说，生就一副能对大量陌生人作抽象统计思考的头脑没多大用处。

而在当今世界，虽然密切关注熟人仍具重要意义，但我们也面临新的挑战。我们每天都跟陌生人打交道，因此有必要预测他们的举动：这个人是想骗我，还是值得信任？这个人是我应该结识的重要人物，还是忽略了也无妨的无名小辈？

这是一件我们很多人感到棘手的事情，因为我们的大脑天生并不具备这种本领，我们只好转而依靠认知捷径，比如依赖刻板印象作为一种应对方法。

相反，自然选择会让我们天生就对特定人群产生好奇——并用记忆来存储这一信息。我们需要记住谁对我们好，谁对我们不好。这一记忆掺杂的感情越是强烈，我们就越发难以忘怀。当一个你以密友相待的人公开冷落你，或是当你撞见你信任的一个朋友跟你的男友或者女友眉来眼去时，你会很难忘却。

这样导致的结果就是极有可能怀恨在心。这能保护我们免于再次受欺负，但也会在高中同学聚会的时候引起一些尴尬和不安。

而让情况更加复杂的是，高中可能是我们人生当中最后一个这样的阶段：各种各样的人纯粹因为同一年龄、住在同一地区而朝夕相处。没错，高中往往也因经济条件和种族而存在隔离的情况，但大多数高中生每天接触的人的类型要比日后接触的更广泛。

研究表明，高中毕业之后，人们就开始根据智商、政治见解、职业兴趣及各种各样其他的社会筛选标准来把自己归入三六九等。

而与此同时，在作社会比较时，你在高中时认识的人仍是你比较的默认参照组。

根据“社会比较理论”，我们通过与他人进行比较来弄清我们有多优秀并形成个人价值判断;其他人之间越相似，越有助于我们判断自己的优劣。因为你的高中同学一直跟你同龄——还因为他们跟你成长于同一个地方——你自然有一定的兴趣去了解他们后来的人生如何，哪怕仅仅是为了看看自己的人生过得如何。

考虑到上述这些，难怪英国浪漫主义诗人罗伯特·骚塞曾经写道：“不管你能活多久，头20年都是你人生最长的一段。”

1. unrequited [??nr??kwa?t?d] adj. 得不到报答的，无回报的

2. revolve [r??v?lv] vi. 围绕

3. reminiscence [?rem??n?s（?）ns] n. 回忆，怀旧;缅怀往事

4. pine [pa?n] vi. 怀念（for）

5. chock full of：塞满的，满满的

6. successfully play the cards：处事得当，做事精明，同play the cards right。

7. deal [di?l] vt. 發（纸牌）

8. forebear [?f??（r）be?（r）] n. 祖先，前辈

9. accord [??k??（r）d] vt. 使受到，给予（某种待遇）

10. repercussion [?ri?p?（r）?k??（?）n] n. 反响，回响

11. unsavory [?n?se?v?ri] adj. 令人不快的

12. be consumed with：对……沉迷

13. cohort [?k???h??（r）t] n. （尤指为了进行统计而被看作一个整体的）一群人

14. stack up：（与其他人或事物）相比;比得上

15. stray [stre?] vi. 偏离

16. ostracism [??str??s?z（?）m] n. 排斥，排挤

17. tantamount [?t?nt??ma?nt] adj. 等于……的，无异于……的（to）

18. splintering [?spl?nt?（r）??] n. 分裂，分解

19. clique [kli?k] n. 派系，小集团

20. hormone [?h??（r）m??n] n. 激素，荷尔蒙

21. velocity [v??l?s?ti] n. 速度，速率

22. keep tabs on：密切注意，严密监视（某人的一举一动）

23. fall back on：转而依靠

24. snub [sn?b] vt. 冷落，怠慢

25. propensity [pr??pens?ti] n. 倾向

26. grudge [ɡr?d?] n. 不满，积怨，怨恨

27. gauge [ɡe?d?] vt. 评价，判断

28. Robert Southey：罗伯特·骚塞（1774～1843），英国作家，浪漫主义诗人