Different Connotations of“Sorry”

Attentive foreigners will find that Chinese people， unlike them， do not frequently say sorry in their everyday lives. It is often the case that the Chinese are misunderstood as being fearful of admitting their mistakes and unwilling to say sorry. The reason they seldom say sorry is mainly attributed to the environment in which they are brought up in a nation that emphasizes practicality rather than form. This requires them to practice shen shi， which means thinking from the very start how not to cause inconvenience to others. If inconvenience is likely， they would rather try to prevent it from happening than saying sorry when it is too late.

The concept of shen shi is to tell people to be careful with anything they do at any time and not to do anything to cause regret to themselves or others. Only thus can saying sorry be avoided. In case of an accident that makes a person regretful to others， an apology should come from his heart and sorry should not be said casually.

In his Moaning Words， Lu Kun， a renowned thinker of the Ming Dynasty period （1368-1644）， said，“One should do things carefully； otherwise， he would have regrets afterward. If he already regrets something， he should make amendments in time. It is no good regretting only.” In other words， while a wise person may have regrets， the occasions to express regret are fewer because his prudence in major matters leaves no room for regret. The key is to look before you leap when handling things or problems. If a person does something that makes him regret it afterward， he may as well think of a way to make amends quickly. It is of no use to simply express regret.

From this， we can see the Chinese principles in dealing with things： one thinks twice， rather than casually， before he speaks or acts. Because for one wrong word you may be blamed； for one wrong act you may be held responsible a long time. Thus， those who know how to deal with people and things are cautious about their words and actions. They mean to avoid mistakes resulting from rashness， rather than merely say sorry for them.

However， to err is human. Confucius teaches us not to make the same mistake again. “The greatest virtue for a person is to be aware of his error and be able to correct it.” This wise saying has great importance even today. For a person， hard-earned merit lies in not being afraid of making an error but in correcting it when he recognizes it and not making similar mistakes in the future.

As China is integrated closer with the world， the word sorry has been widely accepted by the Chinese people. Many have formed a habit of saying it. In fact， when a small error or mistake occurs， a simple “sorry”can win peoples understanding and seek their forgiveness. So why not use it more often？ In reality， some who are afraid to lose face are reluctant to say the three words “I am sorry.” As a result， things turn worse.