屈颖
【栏目要求】
1. 将学生习作根据中考分值给出成绩; 2. 在应该修改的地方划线并标注序号;
3. 根据所标序号进行修改并说明修改的理由; 4. 给学生习作点评<优点与不足>;
5. 请点评名师提供简历一份,包括:学校、职务、 职称、荣誉、教研教学成果、照片一张。
投稿邮箱: zxsyy2007@163.com或whzxsyy@163.com
来稿请寄: 430079 华中师范大学外国语学院《中学生英语》 杂志社 收
本 期 点 评 名 师
易艳华 女,现任教于湖南省永州市冷水滩区竹山桥学校,主导中小学双语教学,提倡发展与培养学生阅读兴趣,增强学生运用语言的技能,系骨干教师和学科带头人;主持永州市教改课题《中学生英语故事阅读与写作技能开发研究》,有多篇论文在省级发表和获奖,并辅导学生多次获奖。
My mother works in Shenzhen. Last month she goes① back from Shenzhen. She bought me a new skirt. It was colorful. I was very happy. When I tried it on, I found that it didnt fit me at all.
“Im sorry, my daughter,” my mother said to me, “Youre growing too fast. I dont know how tall you are now. I buy② you a new one in our hometown.”
I went to the clothes shop with my mother happy③. She bought me another one. It was pink. It fit me very well. Frankly speaking, I liked the colorful skirt best because it was very beautiful. In the evening I gave it to my little sister. How happy she was!
1. 优点:
小作者通过写裙子这件小事来描写母爱,语言细腻,真挚感人,这是一篇不错的学生习作。
2. 需要修改的地方:
① goes改为went。保持前后时态的一致性;
② buy改为will buy。用将来时态表示“打算做什么”;
③ happy改为happily。用副词修饰动词词组go with。
3. 评分:
按照中考英语作文满分15分的评分标准,本文修改前可得12分。