To Be Modest Or Not

Chinese people advocate two kinds of attitudes regarding modesty： “Take a step back and a boundless world appears before you，” and “Feel duty-bound to shoulder responsibility.”

Should we or should we not be modest？ The answer is： there are times when modesty is called for， and times when modesty must not be exercised.

Tending the Roots of Wisdom， a Chinese classic containing traditional Chinese thoughts of Buddhism （by philosopher Hong Zicheng who lived from 1572 to 1620） points out the virtue of modesty：“On a narrow road， one should stop and wait for the traveler from the other side to pass first； when having delicious food， one should set aside one third to share with others.”

This is an excellent way to conduct ourselves in society. If a person always keeps such modesty in mind， his life will be delightful and smooth. Those who seem to always lose actually gain more.

Generally speaking， if there are social conflicts， both parties concerned may be held responsible. Both should take the initiative to show modesty， looking for problems on their own part. To give in first for the reason of modesty is to let time and facts vindicate oneself so that unnecessary quarrels and unscrupulous dealings can be avoided. Such modest behavior is a virtue. In the case of misunderstandings arising among relatives and friends， followed by rumors and false comments， anger or fury will not resolve disputes， while temporary toleration can restore a good image， thus gaining fair appraisal and praise.

To be modest is not to be cowardly； instead it requires confidence and forbearance. It is considered a kind of insight and generosity. He who can control himself has profundity and strength. It is a manifestation of great talent and broad vision. Little forbearance may breed great mischief. If you want to accomplish a great thing， you must bear small pains， but it is not forbearance without end. If so， it is incompetence.

Confucius said， “In terms of benevolence， there is no need for people to show modesty even before their teacher.”Thus， it is not wrong to obey and respect teachers， showing modesty in everything before them， but when practicing justice and benevolence， people should not allow their hands and feet to be tied.

This has two meanings. First， when a persons correct opinion conflicts with his teachers wrong one， he should not be modest but insist on his position. Such an interpretation matches Greek philosopher Aristotles motto， “I love my teacher， but love truth more.”

Second， actively practice what is benevolent or just rather than be inactively modest in front of others.

If modesty is not required regarding practicing benevolence， even before ones teachers， there is no need for modesty before others. Today， when we talk about practicing benevolence， we omit “in front of teachers.” This means that one should not be passive when practicing what is thought to be just and benevolent.

In real life， being modest means relinquishing ones haughty air， being good at making a compromise and taking a humble attitude. Not to be modest is to hold ones head high， maintaining ones dignity and rights， and showing a willingness to surpass others. For a great Chinese man， his bearing should be modest， but only when necessary.