赵伐
How To Get Work Done
There are basically two ways to get work done. One way is working individually and the other is working in a team. Of course, they each have their own characteristics.
The former, working individually, can allow people to do things in whatever ways they like. Besides, people can also solve problems by themselves. The latter, however, is quite different. It requires team spirit. As is known to all, two heads are better than one. Many people can talk over problems together. What's more, people can learn from each other in team work.
Personally, I prefer to combine them together. Because working individually can help me build up my ability to stand on my own feet while working in a team gives me a chance to acquire experience from others.
这篇作文要求学生就完成工作的方式来表达自己的观点。人们完成工作的方式通常有两种:独立完成和合作完成。两种方式各有特点。我们可以按照以下三块内容来安排行文:①独立完成意味着自行安排、自己解决问题;②合作完成意味着一起讨论、相互学习;③我喜欢的方式和理由。
这个选题属于议论文,议论文一般要有论点、论据和论证。应该说,这篇作文虽然篇幅不长,但这几个部分都包含了。总的来说,解题正确,结构清楚,行文流畅,语言表达较少明显错误,上下文之间注重衔接。也有适当引用,如“two heads are better than one”,说明该生平时注重语言资料的积累。
但也存在一些问题,如:
1. 语法问题:Because从句不能单独成句,所以作文的最后一个句子要与前面的这个句子合二为一。
2. 连接词的使用问题:过多地使用连接词,尤其是有些部分之间并没有很强的逻辑连接关系。比如“Of course, they each have their own characteristics.”中的“Of course”跟前文缺少“理所当然”的联系。第二段的每一句之间几乎都有连接词(Besides, however, As is known to all, Whats more),也给人一种太频繁的感觉。
3. 句子的组织结构问题:有些句子显得比较松散(loose)。英语平均句长要超过汉语,希望学生能学会写编织得较好的句子。“The former, working individually, can allow people to do things in whatever ways they like. Besides, people can also solve problems by themselves.”完全可以改写为“The former, working individually, can allow people to do things in ways they like and to solve problems by themselves.”
4. 代词的使用问题:作文中存在主语频繁变换的情况,比如,“The former, working individually, can allow people to do things in whatever ways they like. Besides, people can also solve problems by themselves.”这两个句子,完全可以用一致的主语来统摄,第二句不妨改换为:“It can also allow people to solve problems by themselves.”另外,汉语中的习惯是重复出现某个名词,如“人们”这样,“人们”那样。但在英语中,下文中出现上文某个名词,则会用代词等替代,如“Many people can talk over problems together. Whats more, people can learn from each other in team work.”中,建议将第二个“people”改为“they”。
How To Get Work Done
There are basically two ways to get work done. One way is by working individually and the other is by working in a team. Each of these has their own specific characteristics.
The former, working individually, can allow people to do things in ways they like and to solve problems by themselves. The latter, however, is quite different. It requires a team spirit. As everyone knows, two heads are better than one. People can solve problems by talking together and they can learn from each other through team work.
Personally, I prefer to combine these two approaches, because working individually helps me build up my ability to stand on my own feet while working in a team gives me the chance to acquire experience from others.
(点评:陈科芳|浙江外国语学院英语学院)