刁玉
Abstract: This thesis aims to find the proper way to translate the prose poem, a new genre of literary works.Under the translation criteria of "functional equivalence" and "Sublimation theory", two Chinese translations of Gitanjali are compared and contrasted in order to conclude translating strategies of the prose poem.
Key words: prose poem, functional equivalence, sublimation, poetic language
As the finely subtle combinacion of prose and poem, prose poem is a short context composed by sentences of indefinice length line.lt has very limited number of writing theories to apply to thus the translation strategies of prose poem are not yet established. Gitanjali, written by Indian poet Tagore,is a great collection of prose poem and bestowed with the title of Nobel Price. ln the Introduction to Gitanjali(1921),W.B.Yeats described this English version as "this poetry", and he referred to the sentences of Gitanjali as "verses".
Among different Chinese translations of Gitanjali two versions are selected and analyzed here.Bingxin's version, first published in 1950s, is the first Chinese translation of Gitanjali and the most famous one, while Wuyan' s version, first published in 1990s,is considered the most widespread one in China among the translations in recent years.Both versions followed the "functional equivalence" defined by Eugene A.Nida and "Sublimation theory" stated by Qian Zhongshu.The two theories emphasize the equivalence between the source text and the target text, as well as the equivalence between the original reader and the target reader.
These differences in these 2 versions can be classified into three types:(1)phrase choice,(2)sentence order and(3) mood of the poem.
1.Choice of phrase
To illustrate the different phrase choices by Bing and Wu, chapter N0.79 0f Gitanjali is raised here as an example.The total account of words in Wu's version is 285 words, 58 words more than that of Bing's 227 words, which shows the different choices of specific words or phrases:
The original version:"If it is not my portion to meet thee in this life then let me ever feel that I have missed thy sight-let me not forget for a moment,let me carry the pangs of this sorrow in my dreams and my wakeful hours."
Bing:假如我今生无份遇到你,就让我永远感到恨不相逢一一让我念念不忘,让我在醒时梦中都怀带着这悲哀的苦痛。
Wu:如果我今生没有缘分遇到你,那就让我永远恨未相逢--让我时时刻刻念念不忘,在清醒和做梦的时刻都牢记这伤心的苦痛。
Through analyzing, two principles in translaLing prose poem in respect to word choices could be drawn.
(A) The Principle of compression
For the first point Bing chose"无份",a condensed Chinese word while Wu used"没有缘分",a more loosened word for daily use.A similar translating strategy has been taken in the comparison of the third point.According to Nida, "Compression means that poetic language is generally very dense and economical, with very litde redundancy" .At this point it is clear that Bing's version has succeeded more to meet the requirements of "compression" and kept the condense nature of the original one.
(B) The principle of expressiveness
For the second phrase similar word-chosen strategy can be seen when Bing used"醒时梦中"and Wu used"清醒和做梦的时刻".In Chinese,"清醒"and"做梦"should not state together to modify a same moment to avoid misunderstanding. Therefore the natural Chinese translation should be"清醒的时刻和做梦的时刻".
Wu used the unnatural phrase to reduce the intelligibility of readers, while Bing's translation achieved the principle of expressiveness and maintained the poetic language of the original.
2.Order of the sentences
Dealing with the long sentences of the original prose poem, Wu intended to change the order of the sentences or break them down into short sentences, while Bing tried her best to keep the original structure.
The original version( Chapter N0.92 stanza l):" …life will take its leave in silence, drawing the last curtain over my eyes."
Bing:"……生命默默地向我道别,把最后的帘幕拉过我眼前。"
Wu:"……生命把最后的帘幕拉过来遮住我的眼睛,便默默地离去。"
The unusuallong sentence in original text was aimed to catch the readers' eyes thus bring them vivid and floating images.By breaking down the sentences, Wu shifted the focus of the original context, making the condense sentence structure into loosened one, thus violating the original style.
3.Mood of the prose poem
In Chapter N0.76, the question "ShallI stand before thee face to face?" has repeated 5 times.ln Bing's version, these five questions have translated into"我能够和你对面站立吗?"while in Wu' s version, these five questions were translated into statements"我将面对面地站在你的跟前".The cultural connotations of Gitanjali is defined as "the lyrics for the God" by Tagore himself and "Words full of courtesy", by W.B.Yeats.This courtesy before the God is the highlighted manner between the lines of the original text.While Bing followed the original mood,
Wu rewrote it into the indicative mood, thus lost the humbleness in the original text.
As the style is highlighted both in the expectation and the response of the original readers, the reservation of the original style is a must in its translation.According to the analysis of Functional Equivalence by Nida, "One should not translate poetry as though it were prose" .And according to Qian, the poetic spirit of the original poem has to be remained in translation in order to achueve Sublimation.
4.Conclusion
In order to achieve functional equivalence as well as the Sublimation, the style of the original text must be maitained.That is, to define and translate t.he genre as "a new and special type of poem", instead of a prose.Secondly, the translator should be aware of the expectation and the response of the original readers and try his hest to obtain equivalent effect on the target readers. To reach che high criteria of "poetic spirk" , the translator should "formulating verse within the syntax of a prose", which means to choose the precise words to maintain the densely compact, to embed cadences within the prose structure
to keep the images generates naturely and continually through the long sentences. Once the poetic spirit has transformed, the vivid images have occurred, the translation of prose poem is qualified under the
rules of both functional equivalence and Sublimation.