I am growing up day by day and I have some changes.
First, my grades are better than before because I study harder. I am very happy about this and my parents are happy, too. I will go on studying hard to be the top student in my class.
Second, I become more outgoing than before. I was quite① and didnt like to talk with my classmates in the past. But now, I often talk with my classmates, and I get on well② them.
Third, I do more housework at home. My parents work hard to have a better life. So I think I should help them with housework. I often clean the house and wash the dishes.
Last, I am stronger than before because I often do sports. Doing sports can make me strong and healthy.
These are my changes. Do you have any changes?
江苏省赣榆县罗阳中学八(3)班 张言康
陈传光 男,32岁,中学一级教师,江苏省赣榆县罗阳中学,从事教育教学工作9年。江苏省教育学会会员,连云港市优秀教育园丁,赣榆县优秀班主任。有多篇论文在各种杂志期刊上发表并获奖。曾获全国中学生新课程英语语言能力竞赛优秀辅导教师一等奖。
【栏目要求】
1. 根据中考分值给出学生习作的成绩; 2. 划出应修改的地方并标注序号;
3. 根据所标序号进行修改并说明修改的理由; 4. 给学生习作点评<优点与不足>;
5. 请点评名师提供简历一份,包括:学校、职务、 职称、荣誉、教研教学成果、照片一张。
来稿请寄: 430079 华中师范大学外国语学院《中学生英语》 杂志社 收
点评
1. 优点:
随着年龄的增长,我们每个人都会发生一些变化。张言康同学分享了自己的一些变化:成绩越来越好、性格越来越外向、更懂得帮助父母做家务以及身体越来越强壮了。通过这些变化我们不难发现小作者在往好的方向发展。文章结构清晰,文笔简洁、流畅,是一篇值得推荐的学生习作。
2. 需要修改的地方:
①quite改为quiet。quite意为“非常;十分”,quiet意为“安静的”。
②get on well改为get on well with。get on well with sb.意为“与某人相处得很好”。
3. 评分:
按江苏省连云港市中考英语作文满分20分的评分标准,本文修改前可得18分。