If You Are the One:Love at First Sight

By+staff+reporter+ANAIS+CHAILLOLEAU

THIS conversation made me realize just how enthralling this show must be， for many people. Indeed， each episode –broadcast on Jiangsu TV every Saturday and Sunday evening – scores almost 40 million viewers， not including those who watch it online after its initial airing. Feicheng Wurao， translated into English as If You Are the One， is among the three most popular TV shows in China.

Standard Framework

The format is simple： a dating show along the lines of the U.S. classic The Dating Game. Twentyfour beautiful singles assess one young man who is gradually introduced to them as the show progresses. In front of each woman is a podium equipped with a light – signifying their passion for the male candidate – which they turn either on or off at the end of each round， during which videos are shown about the candidate giving details of his job， hobbies， and past relationships， and which include friends giving their opinions of him. Each game ends when all 24 women have turned off their light. If the man successfully “keeps their passion alight，”he must then select two finalists to pose questions to before making his final decision.

Certain additional twists add spice to the show. After coming onstage， the suitor must choose the woman that has the most appeal for him， but does not disclose his “crush” until the game is over. Thus， whether the young woman concerned leaves her lamp lit or not， the young man can carry on courting the girl of his dreams. Conversely， during each round any or all of the 24 women can go for the “light explosion” option that signals strong attraction for the candidate， and remain in the running.

Feicheng Wurao is hosted by TV presenter Meng Fei， whom the show has brought national popularity. His ready smile and winning manner give the program its amiable， humorous ethos， which he livens up with jokes and quips. Psychoanalysts Le Jia and Huang Han， who are part of the shows regular line-up， comment on candidates videos and replies in efforts to encourage viewers to give deep thought and consideration to love and married life. This mix between wisdom and entertainment is a main ingredient of the shows success.

Magnifying Glass on Chinese Society

The glory days of early dating shows were in the West with The Dating Game in poll position. The program lent tempo to housewives humdrum lives between 1965 and 1973. Today， however， Westerners appear to favor the Internet over the small screen as a medium for meeting people， to the point where they have lost interest in such TV shows.

In China， where marriage remains a major topic of public discussion， the dating show trend has far from ebbed. Upon coming of age， Chinese sons and daughters are constantly urged by their parents to find suitable matches. A single Chinese woman celebrating her 30th birthday is considered al- most tragic. China has always attached paramount importance to family and offspring. And because China is traditionally a patriarchal society there is widely held belief that the role of wife and mother is equally， if not more， important than that of a whitecollar working woman. Finally， as a result of the family planning policy launched （and recently relaxed） in China during the 1970s， the younger generation generally comprises sole children in each family unit. They are consequently under far greater parental pressure than earlier generations to carry on the family line.

In the wake of Chinas economic and social progress， numbers of shengnü （literally， “leftover woman”） are nevertheless growing. Shengnü is the name given to women in their late twenties， many of whom have been through postgraduate education and have well-paid jobs， who are still single. Dedicated to their careers， they dont make the time to meet potential spouses. Nor are they willing to compromise in their quest for Mr. Right.

This TV show， therefore， reveals a social phenomenon daily observable in contemporary China. Young viewers can identify with these contestants， most of them in their 20s or 30s， in search of life companions. To Anne-Sophie， this is why Feicheng Wurao scores full marks： “Maybe lots of young Chinese women， like those on the program， havent found their significant other， so the show helps them to see that they are not alone. All 24 women competing are beautiful and talented. Theoretically， they should have no difficulties finding a husband， especially in China， where men outnumber women. But they are part of a more demanding generation， made up of educated and privileged urban women who expect to find the most suitable mate， even if it means delaying marriage.”

Controversy

Despite its flashy-color setting， sometimes highvoltage and other times mushy music， and its gig-gly ambience – all of which suggest that this TV show may be a bit dumbed down – Feicheng Wurao opens a window on actual Chinese society. A society with all its pros and cons.

In 2010， a comment by 22-year-old female candidate Ma Nuo prompted a nationwide reaction. To rebuff a suitor envisioning romantic bike rides， the venal young girl let out the now famous quip：“Id rather cry in a BMW than smile on a bicycle.”It sparked a national controversy： is this individualistic， materialistic young generation willing to sacrifice traditional values on the altar of money？ Things reached a pitch where the Chinese government stepped in. The State Administration for Radio， Film， and Television now has a say during the recruiting process and censors certain amoral remarks， which are daily more common as Chinese youth become more emancipated and laidback. The show is nonetheless still a far cry from the more brazen Western dating shows such as Next or Dismissed.

Anne-Sophies comment： “I sometimes dont understand participants choices， especially when they dont reveal their feelings， as wed like （because we are， in one word， romantic！）. Girls seem really pragmatic as they choose men with the best financial status， whereas boys seem superficial as they take on the most beautiful and pliable women.”

She suspects that what we see is not completely genuine. Chinese people seem too much at ease and sometimes depict themselves as caricatures， exaggerating one characteristic to the extent that it takes over their entire personality. However， former participants have confirmed in a wide range of interviews that， although they were given certain advice， everything the viewer sees is real. But candidates are carefully cherry-picked： only those who are young， good looking with a singular personality or atypical hobbies are selected. “Those girls are not stupid： they are there to put on a real show， not to teach the audience some values，” is Anne-Sophies belief. “Besides， any blatantly materialistic remark quickly arouses a buzz on the Internet， which proves that Chinese people react. Perhaps that is the real goal of this TV show： to make people talk and think.”

Quest for Love across Borders

When I asked Anne-Sophie whether any particular contestant ever caught her eye， she admitted：“One day， there was a handsome， nice and apparently intelligent Russian boy. As far as Im concerned， he was appealing in every way， but no girl kept her light on for him. Incredible！ And I thought laowai （foreigners） were a real hit with Chinese girls.”

This TV show， inspired by the Australian program Take Me out， welcomes foreign as well as Chinese contestants. This open-mindedness reflects Chinese society in all its diversity， but also cultural clashes. Most of the time， foreigners pass the first round， but are ultimately dismissed. There are several possible reasons for this. First， certain question-answer games highlight harderto-accept cultural differences， generally those dealing with family and money. For example， a great number of Chinese girls expect their husband-to-be to buy a decent home right after the wedding. This is the tradition in China but not in all Western countries. We should also bear in mind that choosing a foreigner may be considered risky for a girl who is looking for a serious relationship. Western people have a reputation for being fickle and flirtatious in their relationships. It could well be that a Chinese girl may regard a guy with too many exes （lets say above five） as an ear-ly “goodbye.” In any event， the general consensus is that even if a foreigner is seduced by a “beautiful mermaids call，” he is likely， sooner or later， to go back to his home country. Foreigners that sign up for this TV show， it must be acknowledged， do it more out of curiosity than anything else. Standing under the spotlight on a TV show in your adopted country is an achievement， an adventure， an experience！ Probably none sincerely expects to find their better half this way.

This was the confession that Justin Yang， a U.S. citizen of Chinese descent， who got the chance to leave the show arm-in-arm with a beautiful Chinese girl named Jiang Yu. But they shared only one evening together， Justin revealed in the University of Californias newspaper Daily Bruin. Anne-Sophies comment： “I dont think the relationship formed during the show usually lasts， bearing in mind that there is strong motivation not to leave the stage alone. Most important are the letters contestants later receive from admirers who have watched the show.”

Originally a small-budget TV show filmed by a regional broadcaster， Feicheng Wurao has grown to a scale where people outside of China are now also invited to take part. The first three overseas special editions targeted Australia， the U.S. and England， and scored record Chinese viewing audiences.

Although Feicheng Wurao is the most popular dating TV program， it is not the only one to move Chinese hearts. Take Me out， One out of 100， Lets Go on a Date and Run for Love are also out there！ With all this choice， it must surely be possible to find the right one. Nowadays， there are all sorts of methods available to seek out the ideal life partner： TV， Internet， gatherings for parents to exchange information on their marriageable-age offspring， speed dating， collective dating， or maybe even messages in bottles thrown into the ocean for the more desperate suitors... How about you？ If you are still looking， how do you hope to find the love of your life？