从自卑到自信

After I came to America when I was 12， I started gaining weight. Back in China， my friends and I walked everywhere. But in New York I was scared to get lost in my neighborhood， so I got into the habit of staying home. I just sat around all day eating.

By the time I was 16， I had stopped growing， but my weight kept increasing. I was 52” and weighed 155 lbs. People began teasing me by calling me “fat guy， ”“short guy” and “big head.” I dont think they meant to be cruel， but those words really hurt. Telling them to stop didnt work， so I usually ignored what they said or tried to tease them back.

The truth is that it really hurt my feelings. Sometimes when I see myself in the mirror， I hate myself and ask why I have this body. I want to have a hot body and a handsome face. Being short and chubby makes me sick， and I feel jealous of my friends.

No One I Could Talk to

My heart felt like it was lost in the desert， waiting for someone to offer me water to drink. I had nobody to talk to about my true feelings. I dont talk with my parents when difficult things happen to me， because I dont want them to worry. They work long hours and theyre very tired when they get home late at night.

I wouldnt want a teacher to get involved because I think that could make things worse. And I worry that if I talk to my friends about it， theyll think I cant take a joke. They might stop sharing things with me.

Shaping Up

For a while I blamed my parents. I decided it was my mom and dads fault that I was short since they were short， too.

“Is your height what caused me to be short？” I asked my mom one day.

“What？ It isnt me who caused you to be short， I fed you healthy foods，” she said. “Its your problem that youre too lazy to go outside to get some exercise！”

I thought she was probably right. Although my height was out of my control， I had the power to get more fit. So I asked my mom to sign me up for the YMCA， where I could work out. She was happy and told me if I worked hard at it， Id see results.

The first day I went to the YMCA， I saw many perfect bodies with six packs and big muscles. I felt ashamed of my body. But I decided to learn to swim. It took me two months to teach myself； I practiced by observing other people.

As I practiced， I could feel myself getting stronger and faster. I thought I was fast enough to try swimming in the fast lane， but after a few laps， a man told me I was too slow. I felt really bad. My first thought was that my short legs and arms prevented me from swimming as fast. I also tried weightlifting， running， and the stationary bicycle. But I didnt know how to use the equipment correctly. I felt hopeless and gave up on the YMCA.

I started staying home every day to play computer games. On the Internet you can create an avatar， or character， that looks any way you want it to. No one called me fat， short， or small. My life online felt better than my real life， and I got addicted to computer games. Soon， Id gained five more pounds. I realized I was sitting in front of the computer too much， trying to forget the real world. I decided to give the YMCA another try.

A Triumphant Moment

Since then， Ive gone to the YMCA more often， and even made a friend there who helps me out with equipment that I dont know how to use. He also taught me how to keep my weight down. Now Im training regularly and I feel good.

It has paid off. One day my friends asked me to go play basketball with them. We separated into two teams. I was the last one to be chosen because I dont play that well. At first， every time I tried to get the ball as it bounced off the backboard after a shot， the other team was like a pack of tigers hunting for food. I couldnt jump in between them and get the ball for my team.

Then， suddenly the ball bounced into my hands. It was like someone hit me with a stun gun—I didnt think I could move， but I took the chance and shot the ball with my arms. The ball flew toward the basket and went in. I was so happy that Id scored for my team.

At that moment I realized that I had the power to achieve. I might have different abilities， and maybe I dont look as good as some others， but my differences are what make me who I am. I started to play different sports and discovered that I like handball. Its fun， and you dont need to be tall to be good at it. I really enjoy it.

自从12岁来到美国以后，我的体重便开始增加。以前在中国的时候，我和朋友们总是四处走动，但在纽约，我很怕在附近走丢，所以养成了宅在家里的习惯，整天就坐在家里吃东西。

到16岁时，我就没有再长高，但体重仍在不断增加。身高5英尺2英寸（约1.57米），体重却达155磅（约70.3公斤）。人们开始取笑我，喊我“胖子”、“矮冬瓜”和“大头”。虽然我觉得他们并非出于恶意，但那些话真的让我很受伤。我叫他们不要这样，可是不起作用。所以我通常不去理会他们说什么，或者试着反过来取笑他们。

然而事实是，他们的做法确实伤害了我的感情。有时候，当我看到镜子里的自己，我恨自己，会问自己为什么我有这样的身体。我想有火辣的身材和英俊的相貌，这又矮又胖的模样让我恶心。我真嫉妒我的朋友。

无处诉苦

我的心就像在沙漠里迷路了一样，等着有人给我水喝。没有谁能倾听我的心声。遇到困境，我不会和父母诉说，因为我不想让他们担心。他们在外辛劳了一天，晚上很晚才回家，已经很累了。

我不想让老师插手，因为我觉得那样可能会使情况变得更糟。我也担心如果我和朋友们说起这事，他们可能会认为我是个开不起玩笑的人，以后可能就不会再和我分享东西了。

振作起来

有一阵子，我把这事怪罪到父母头上，认定这是父母的错——我矮是因为他们也很矮。

“是你的身高导致我这么矮的吧？”有一天我这么问妈妈。

“什么？不是我导致你矮，我给你吃的都是健康的食物，”她说。“那是你的问题，因为你连到外面做运动都懒得去！”

我想，或许她说得没错。虽然我的身高不是我能掌控的，但我还是有能力让身材苗条一点。于是我让妈妈帮我报名参加基督教青年会，在那里我可以进行锻炼。她很高兴，并对我说只要我努力，一定能看到成效。

我去青年会的第一天就看到许多有六块腹肌和壮硕肌肉的完美身材，我为自己的身体感到羞愧。我决定去学游泳。通过观察别人，我用了两个月的时间自学游泳。

随着不断的练习，我感觉到自己变得越来越强壮了，速度也越来越快了。我认为我的速度已经够快，可以到快速泳道试试水，可是游了几个来回之后，有人对我说我的速度太慢了。我感觉很糟。我首先想到的是我的小短腿和小短胳膊制约了我的速度。我也试过举重、跑步和骑固定自行车，但我不知道如何正确使用那些运动器械。最后，我在绝望之中放弃了青年会。

我又开始每天窝在家里玩电脑游戏。在网上，你可以创造一个替身或角色，把它打造成你想要的任何样子。在网上，没有人会喊我胖、矮或小个子。我的网络生活比我的现实生活感觉好多了，于是我开始沉迷在电脑游戏之中。很快我又胖了5磅（约2.27公斤）。我意识到我坐在电脑前太久了，试图忘记现实世界。于是，我决定再回青年会试试。

胜利时刻

从那时起，我去青年会的次数多了起来。我还和那里的一个人成为了朋友，他不仅教我使用运动器械，还教我如何让体重降下来。现在我定期去锻炼，感觉很好。

我的努力已经初见成效。有一天，我的朋友们叫我一起去打篮球。我们分成两队，我是最后一个被选的人，因为我打得不是很好。一开始，每次我想抢篮板球的时候，另一队的人就像一群猎食的老虎似的，我一点也插不上手，没法为我们队抢到球。

突然，球弹到了我的手中。我就像被电枪击中一样——我感觉动弹不得，但我抓住了机会，振臂投篮。球飞向了篮筐，进了！我为我们队得分了，我高兴极了。

那一刻，我意识到我有能力实现目标。也许我的能力和别人不同，或者不像其他一些人看起来那么棒，但我的与众不同之处才是真实的我。我开始尝试各种不同的运动，并发现自己喜欢手球。这运动很好玩，而且你不需要身材高大才能玩得好。我乐在其中呢。