花甲之年的消防梦

by Andrea Peterson

When I was a child， my mother and I were trapped in a burning building in Los Angeles. We were forced to sit out on the second floor 1）window ledge because the only exit was blocked. When the firemen came， they said， “Throw the kid down！” I thought， “Wow， I can actually jump out a window！” I didnt know enough to be scared.

The firemen caught us and I remember thinking， “Yes， this is what I want to do when I grow up.” I remember standing there， a 2）feisty， 3）runty little redhead， saying， “Im gonna be a firemen just like you！” They laughed and said，“Youll be a good mommy， youll be a good teacher， maybe youll be a nurse， but you can never be a fireman.”

I went on to study 4）aviation technology at college. From where I was seated， the only woman in class， I had the distinct feeling I was being watched. I turned around and there was this very handsome man. Dennis and I hit it off instantly， and were together for four years， before getting married in 1979.

小时候，我和妈妈曾被困于洛杉矶的一栋着火的大厦里。我们被迫坐在二楼的窗台外，因为唯一的出口被堵住了。当消防员到来时，他们说：“把孩子扔下来！”我想：“哇，我居然可以真的从窗口跳下去！”那时，我还不太懂什么叫害怕。

消防员把我们接住了，我记得自己当时想：“没错，这就是我长大后想做的事。”我记得自己站在那儿，一个不安分的红发“小矮人”，说：“我要当一名像你们那样的消防员！”他们大笑起来，说道：“你会成为一位好妈妈，你会当上好老师，又或者你会是个护士，但你永远也不会成为一名消防员。”

后来念大学，我学的是航空科技。作为班上唯一的女性，我坐在座位上明显感到有一种被人注视的奇特感觉。我转过身去，发现了那个很帅的男人。丹尼斯和我一见钟情，谈了四年恋爱后，在1979年结了婚。

But time 5）took its toll， and Dennis got very sick. As a Vietnam War veteran and pilot， he transported the dreadful 6）Agent Orange for 18 months. When he came back from Vietnam， doctors diagnosed him with cancer.

By the time he died six years ago， his body had completely shut down. He said， “This isnt living. Im ready to go. But what are you going to do？ How will you manage？” I told him Ill be fine， which gave him peace， and that was the end of that. I was mentally exhausted， physically destroyed and I needed time to heal.

A y e a r later， when I was 61， one of the villagers wrote an interesting article about riding in a local ambulance for the day. I had no idea such opportunities were available. My neighbor works for the fire department， so I went with him when he was on duty and within minutes we had a life or death ambulance call. All I could do was comfort the victim， but I wanted to do more. So I joined the next class to get an 7）emergency technician license. Soon I started riding on the fire calls， and the more I did it， the more I kept thinking， why didnt I do this when I was 20？

不过岁月不饶人，丹尼斯患了病，并且病得很厉害。作为一名越南战争的老兵和飞行员，他有一年半时间负责运送可怕的橘剂。当他从越南归来，医生诊断他患上了癌症。

六年前，当他去世时，他的身体已经完全垮了。他说：“这不是生活。我要走了。但你怎么办呢？你怎么熬过来呢？”我告诉他，我会没事的，这让他心情平静，然后他就这么走了。我那时已经精疲力竭，心力交瘁，需要时间来疗伤。

一年后，我61岁了，村子里有人写了一篇关于与当地的救护车随行过一天的有趣文章。我当时并不知道有这样的机会向大众开放。我的邻居在消防局工作，因此当他执勤时，我便随他一起出勤。不出几分钟，我们就收到了一个性命攸关的救护车呼叫。我所能做的是安抚受害者，但我想做更多。于是，我参加了下一门课程，希望取得急救员资格证。不久后，我就开始随火警召唤出动了，而我参与得越多，就想得越多：为什么我在20岁的时候不干这个呢？

I was appointed to the fire department， and after a year I told my chief I wanted to be a firefighter. I showed up for training， looked around the room and there were around a dozen or so guys who were 18-21 years old. They looked at me， and asked “Are you one of the instructors？” I said， “No， Im one of your fellow students！” There was a stunned silence and a hostile feeling came over the room. Maybe because I was older or I was a woman， but I was there and it didnt 8）sit well.

The things they taught us were very technical； with plenty of studying and physical 9）workouts （I gained 10 lbs. of muscle just to handle the 60 lbs. of equipment）. The instructors expected me to drop out in a week， and there was no 10）encouragement from anyone.

At the end of the course， we had a very intensive practical exam， putting out real fires in a “burning building.” Then we had an extremely difficult written exam， and you needed a 70 to pass. It seemed impossible， so I asked a very kind-hearted instructor when I could try again.

He looked at me and said， “I know you and Im sure you passed. Well go over it together. You read me your answer and Ill tell you if its right or wrong.” I didnt 11）keep track but after a while he said， “Do you realize youre up to number 87 and you only need 70 to pass？”

I collapsed， crying， in a heap at his feet. I thought， “Oh no， I shouldnt be doing this because it isnt professional” but it was better than my wedding day！ It was the happiest day of my life.

I remember laughing and shrieking and singing the whole way home. I bought an armload of flowers because thats what my husband wouldve done. I got some champagne and stayed up all night telling friends and family. I was 66 years old when I received my firefighter 12）certification， which supposedly made me the oldest person， or at least oldest female ever， to be certified in the state， and possibly all of New England.

Why am I destined to do something so difficult， that most young men cant even do it？ Ill never know. I know I cant do this forever， and it breaks my heart. I worry that as I age—will I still have the 13）fortitude to move forward？ All I know is Im living my dream and to this day I still dont believe it.

我被委派到消防局，一年后，我对主管说，我想成为一名消防员。我去参加训练时，在房间环顾四周，看到里面大概有十多个年龄在18到20岁的男子。他们看着我，问道：“您是我们的其中一位导师吗？”我说：“不是，我是你们的其中一个同学！”顿时，一阵骇人的沉默，一种敌视的情绪弥漫整个房间。可能因为我年纪大，又或是因为我是个女性，呆在那里，我有点格格不入。

他们教授的内容技术性很强，需要大量的学习和体能测试（我增加了10磅的肌肉就是因为要拿60磅的装备）。导师们都估计我一周后便会放弃，而且没有人对我说鼓励的话。

在课程结束时，我们有一个强化实战考试，要在一栋“着了火的大厦”里灭火。接着，我们将要接受一个难度极高的书面考试，必须达到70分才算合格。那看起来简直不可能，于是我向一名热心肠的导师咨询何时我能再考一次。

他看着我，说道：“我认得你，我很肯定你考试通过了。我们一起核对一下吧。你把你的答案念给我听，我来告诉你是对还是错。”我当时没搞清楚他的意思，但过了一会儿后，他说道：“你知道吗，你的分数高达87，而你只要有70分就及格了？”

我崩溃了，大哭起来，瘫软在他脚下。我想：“噢，不会吧，我不应该这个样子，因为这个表现太不专业了”，但那真的是比我结婚那天还棒！那是我一生中最高兴的日子。

我记得自己一路又笑又叫，哼着歌儿回了家。我买了一大束花，因为如果我丈夫还在的话，那是他会做的事。我喝了点香槟，彻夜不眠地向朋友和亲人报喜。当我拿到消防员资格证时，我66岁了，这一点估计让我成为了本州，也有可能是整个新英格兰年龄最大的消防员资格获得者，或者至少是有史以来年龄最大的女性获得者。

为什么我要做一些难度这么高的事？这些事连大部分年轻男子也未必胜任。我永远不知道答案。我明白自己不能永远干这行，这让我很伤心。我担心，随着我年纪渐长——我是否还有这样的毅力奋勇前行？我所知的是，我正活在自己的梦想中，到今天，我依然无法相信。