待“客”之道

by Jesse Hunter

Have you ever stolen anything？ Be honest. I know youve at least thought about it. Everyone thinks about it—and believe it or not， most people eventually act on these sinful thoughts， in one way or another. Animals steal food and shelter from each other all the time. Robin Hood is famous for stealing from the rich and giving to the poor. So it seems， in some instances， stealing can be a good thing， right？ If so， then who has this all-encompassing right to decide what can be stolen， and from whom？ To what lengths are the victims of said thievery willing to go， to defend what is rightfully theirs？ If a burglar broke into your home， what possessions would you fight the hardest for？ Or would you fight at all？ As a westerner living in the Far East， I get overcharged so much that it often feels like robbery. But rather than haggling， I always pay the asking price. Why is that， you ask？ I simply remind myself that an extra couple bucks may be pocket change to me， but it could mean a family dinner to a struggling street vendor.

I Attacked Two Burglars shows how far one 60 year-old woman was willing to go to protect her precious heirlooms. I Met My Burglars on Holiday shows how a single burglary can turn an otherwise simple family into a group of amateur detectives， who end up getting a bit carried away. Ninja Hunt follows the trail of a mysterious thief， whose legendary heists sent Staten Island into an all out frenzy. And I Cant Stop Stealing gives you a glimpse into the mind of an “honest” kleptomaniac.

Stealing is wrong， in almost every circumstance. So when is it acceptable then？ Thats up to you to decide. All things considered， I happen to think its alright for people to steal what they really need. But only from those who have plenty of loot to spare. And thieves beware： not everyone is as gracious as yours truly…

你曾经偷过东西吗？请诚实回答。我知道起码你有想过。每个人都想过——而且信不信由你，多数人最终还是为恶念所控，以这样或那样的方式做了坏事。长久以来，动物间相互偷夺食物及地盘。罗宾汉以劫富济贫而闻名遐迩。所以看起来，在某些情况下，偷窃也可以是件好事，不是吗？如果是这样的话，那么谁有这个至高无上的权利来决定什么能被盗，以及能从谁那里盗取呢？受害于上述盗贼的失主们又愿意花多大劲儿来保卫自己的正当财产呢？假使一个盗贼潜入了你的家中，什么财物是你会拼尽全力去保护的？又或者，你会反抗吗？作为一个生活在远东的西方人，我经常被人敲竹杠，感觉与抢劫无异。但比起讨价还价，我总是宁愿付出要价。你会问，为什么要那样？我只是提醒自己，多付的几块钱对我来说也许只不过是笔小钱，但那对于苦苦谋生的小贩而言可能意味着一家人的晚餐。

《老太智斗双煞》一文展现了一位六旬老妪会使出多少力气来保护自己珍贵的传家宝。《我与怪盗的不了“情缘”》讲述了一次盗窃如何将一个原本单纯的家庭变成了一组业余侦探，最终还有点神经兮兮。《忍者“神偷”》讲述了一个追踪神秘窃贼的故事，那位窃贼传奇的盗窃史令斯塔顿岛陷入了彻底混乱。《一个惯偷的自白》一文将带你走进一个“诚实”窃盗癖的内心世界，一窥究竟。

在几乎所有的情况下，偷盗都是错的。那什么情况下是可以接受的呢？那得全由你决定。思虑周详之后，我突然觉得人们窃其真正所需并无大碍。但是只能从囤着大量“不义之财”的人手里窃取。还有小贼们注意了：并不是每个人都像你挚爱的我那般慈悲为怀的……

俗话说得好：“来者皆是客”，古语又有云：“有朋自远方来，不亦乐乎”，照此推断，我们理应待客犹如春天般温暖，可这世间的事物总有两个针锋相对的对立面，让人无法左右逢源：有美，即有丑；有善，即有恶；而这“客”，也就还有那么一种叫做——不速之“客”。他们不请自来；他们“老虎不在家，猴子称霸王”；他们比传说中的“熊孩子”更多了不只一丝的能耐、狡黠和邪恶。

纵览古今中外，这偷鸡摸狗的“客”，可真所谓是遍布全球。中有民间谚语生活总结：“偷风不偷月，偷雨不偷雪。夜黑风变贼作案，风紧雨急狼出窝。”外有莎士比亚出谋划策：“The robbed that smiles， steals something from the thief.”

面对这些不请自来的“客人”，我们要使出多少力气反抗，又或者要不要反抗呢？如何对付不速之“客”，这真是个问题。本期主题将通过四篇文章向大家展示人们与盗贼之间的四段“浪漫”邂逅：其中有人选择以暴治邪，有人选择一笑了之，有人选择追查到底，更有人选择以身试法、以此为乐。总而言之，这待“客”之道还真得具体问题、具体分析，仔细选择一番才好！

——MS