为了理想，我中途转专业

by Steven Dowshen

入读大学后，你有过这样的想法吗——你讨厌当初选的专业，又不敢转，因为中途转专业意味着过去的时间和金钱都打水漂了。英国大学生肯尼在经过深思熟虑之后终于鼓起勇气，放弃医学专业，决心当一名作家。一起来看看他的故事——

Getting to watch 1）cochlear 2）implant 3）surgery should be exciting for any medical student. But in my case， while two doctors were 4）fiddling around in a human 5）skull， I was checking my phone every 20 seconds to see how much longer until I could leave. I didnt belong there； I was only pretending to belong there. The truth was， halfway through university， I knew I didnt want to be a doctor. And I had to decide whether to keep lying to myself， or change 6）course.

Before university， I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. Id always wanted to do English but my parents didnt 7）approve， saying there was no money in it. So I 8）figured Id just pick a career that looked wellpaid， satisfying， and would make my parents proud.“Doctor” hit all three， so I decide to do medicine. I knew all the coursework wouldnt be easy， but didnt expect to find it as hard as I did. I spent many late nights and weekends studying my brains out， but still didnt get good grades. I just couldnt get the material to stick to my brain. By exam time， my grades were 9）crap and I felt like crap， but I thought maybe a medical 10）internship would help 11）boost my spirits. Ironically， my internship was where I realized how little I wanted to be a doctor.

有机会观看耳蜗植入手术对于很多医科学生来说应该是件很令人兴奋的事情。但对于我来说，当两名医生对着一个头盖骨乱搞一通的时候，我却每20秒看一次手机，看看还有多久才能离开。我不属于那里；我只是假装自己属于那里而已。事实上，大学生活过半之后，我知道自己不想当医生。究竟是继续骗自己，还是改专业？我必须做出决定。

上大学之前，我对人生没有什么打算。我一直很想修读英语，但父母不同意，说学英语赚不了钱。所以我认为找一份称心、表面上很赚钱、又能令父母自豪的工作就行了。“医生”这个职业完全符合以上三点，于是我决定学医。我知道课程不容易，但没料到会这么难。我每天深夜和周末都绞尽脑汁地学习，但成绩还是不好。我就是记不住那些资料。到了考试的时候，我的成绩一塌糊涂，我也觉得糟透了，但我以为医学实习会帮我提升信心。讽刺的是，正是实习让我意识到自己有多不想当医生。

Every day Id just go into work and do exactly what I was told， go where I was told to go， and watch what I was told to watch. And then Id go home. It was fun whenever I got to play with expensive 12）microscopes or watch crazy surgeries， but the rest of the time I struggled to get through the day. The other interns， though， practically 13）broke their backs they worked so hard. They were so 14）driven. I thought， “Wow， these other interns really want to be doctors. I obviously dont.” It was a sad realisation that led to a sadder， scarier question： If I didnt want to be a doctor， what did I want to do？

I had two choices—either keep lying to myself or do a different degree. Changing course would make the past two years of university a waste of time and money. I had thought maybe I could 15）hang on a bit longer until I made it to saving lives and making big money. But 16）eventually I realised that though Id hate myself for quitting， Id hate myself more if I ended up being a crap doctor.

After a lot of long walks on the beach， I decided that the last two years were a 17）worthwhile waste of time and money， because they led to me finding out what I really wanted to do with my life. Despite my parents 18）cynicism， all I want to do is write.

It wasnt an easy decision. I was glad to be moving onto something new， but was also disappointed in myself for giving up. My parents took it pretty well—there wasnt any yelling or tears. But I do have to deal with their 19）constant disappointment and 20）nagging about my future. My dad still tries to 21）convince me to go back to medicine. Its okay， though—theyre just trying to look out for me.

I changed my course to English writing and suddenly I was enjoying university. I was still studying my brains out， writing all night and through the weekend， but， this time， enjoying the pain. Id spend hours 22）perfecting a single paragraph until I was happy with it. I was 23）hooked on lectures and class work. I started looking for internships that would give me experience in professional writing.

These past six weeks， Ive been interning at a website as an 24）editorial 25）assistant. I get up every morning， excited to get into work. The day goes by quick as anything. Five hours feels like 20 seconds because Im having so much fun 26）banging my head on the keyboard until good words come out. My editors tell me that I dont need to do any writing for them outside of work， but I do it anyways because I love writing.

Changing course is a major decision， and it can seem like the last one you want to make. But， if you figure out what you really want to do， then it can be the one of the most important decisions you ever make. I needed a couple of years and a lot of thinking to realize that. My advice is to accept the risks and regrets but to focus much more on the benefits. If you are anywhere close to thinking you need to change course， just do it.

每天，我只是去工作，别人叫我做什么我就做什么，叫我去哪里我就去哪里，叫我看什么就看什么，然后就回家。有机会玩弄昂贵的显微镜或者观看夸张的手术，确实挺有趣的，但其他时候我简直是度日如年。而其他实习生则名副其实地卖力工作，相当投入。我想：“哇，其他实习生是真的想当医生，我显然不是。”这个结论引发了另一个更可悲、更可怕的问题：如果我不想当医生，那我想干什么呢？

我有两个选择——继续欺骗自己或者修读另一个学位。转专业意味着过去的两年大学所花费的时间和金钱都付诸东流。我原本想，也许我能多撑一阵子，直到自己可以救死扶伤，赚大钱。但我最终意识到虽然我讨厌放弃（医科），但如果我成了一名蹩脚的医生，我将会更痛恨自己。

在海边进行了多次长时间散步后，我最终决定过去两年的时间和金钱虽然是浪费了，但还是值得的，因为它们让我找到了我真正想做的事情。虽然父母对写作（这个职业）冷嘲热讽，但这是我想做的事情。

做出这个决定并不容易。能够转向新鲜的事情固然让我高兴，但对自己放弃原来的专业也感到失望。父母很快就接受了我这个决定——没有大吵大闹，也没有眼泪。但我确实要面对他们长久的失望以及对我未来的唠叨。我爸爸依然想说服我转回医科。没关系——他们只是关心我而已。

转到英语写作专业后，我突然间就爱上大学了。尽管我依然要绞尽脑汁地学习，晚上和周末都在写作，但这次，我很享受这种痛苦。我会为修改一段话而花上数小时，直到满意为止。我迷上了讲座和课业，我还开始寻找能增加我专业写作经验的实习。

过去的六周里，我在一家网站实习，当助理编辑。每天起床我都怀着兴奋的心情去工作。时间一下子就过了。五个小时就像20秒，因为我埋头苦干，敲击着键盘直到好词出现，这太有趣了。编辑们对我说工作以外的时间不需要我再写东西，但我还是写了，因为我热爱写作。

转专业是一个重大的决定，似乎也是你最不想做的决定。但如果你弄清楚自己真正想做的事情，那么它可能是你做出的最重要的决定之一。我用了几年时间，并想了很多才意识到这一点。我的建议是：接受风险以及后悔的心情，但更要着眼于（日后的）好处。如果你觉得真的有需要转专业，就行动吧。