Aging Away From Home

By Wang Hairong

There is an old Chinese saying： “When leaves fall from trees， they settle near the roots.” Traditionally， it is believed that people should return to their hometown when they age. In modern times， however， many senior citizens in China move from their hometown to join their children and grandchildren.

As China modernizes， its people become more mobile. Many young people have moved from rural areas into cities and from small and medium-sized cities into larger ones.

“Young people in big cities are under heavy pressure. They are busy with work and family. They hope their parents can help with childcare，” said Qi Xin， a research fellow with the Institute of Urban Studies at the Beijing Academy of Social Sciences.

Having grandparents take care of kids can save money for young parents and give them more time to manage other things. Nannies in big cities such as Beijing can cost around $300-500 a month. Good nannies are as difficult to find as they are expensive. Many young parents are reluctant to hire nannies out of fear that they may mistreat babies.

Living with their children somewhere else is good for elder people because otherwise they may suffer from the loneliness of an empty nest， Qi added.

Family reunion is something to celebrate； yet for a significantly large proportion of seniors， adapting to a new lifestyle is challenging. A survey conducted by China Youth Daily in 2011 revealed that 71.5 percent of the respondents said that they were lonely because they had few friends.

Slightly more than one third said that they had difficulty communicating with locals because of their different dialects.

About half of elders migrating to cities left their spouses behind in their hometown because of insufficient living space in their childrens homes.

Approximately 59.2 percent of elders reported tensions with their children due to differences in lifestyle.

In addition to interpersonal relations， seniors outside of their hometown face other inconveniences. About 61.6 percent of the people surveyed by China Youth Daily said that it is difficult for them to return to their hometown to claim insurance payments because their medical and pension benefits are non-transferable.

New homes

Teng and his wife， a couple in their early 60s， have a daughter they are proud of. Their daughter completed her graduate studies in Beijing and then began working at a research institute in the capital city. Now 37， she is a professor， earns a decent income and owns a reasonably large three-bedroom apartment.

Some years previously， she invited her parents to come to Beijing from their rural hometown in Shandong Province to enjoy a good life with her. However， her parents declined as they still had to take care of their crops and livestock at home.

Then about three years ago， after the daughter gave birth to a boy， the Teng couple decided to come to Beijing to take care of the baby.

While his wife is busy with baby-sitting， Teng has little to do and feels bored. As something of an introverted person， he seldom talks to neighbors. He often sits in the yard， smoking.

Teng enjoys watching his grandson growing up day by day， yet he said that other than that， he has little enjoyment in life. He particularly dislikes the smog and heavy traffic in Beijing. He misses the green fields and fresh air of his hometown.

Compared with Teng， 76-year-old Zhang is comfortable with her life in Beijing. Zhang came from Daqing City in northeast Chinas Heilongjiang Province. She came to Beijing five years ago， shortly before her daughter gave birth.

Now living with her daughter in Beijings Haidian District， Zhang has been taking care of her granddaughter， as well as cooking and cleaning at home. She enjoys teaching her granddaughter how to sing and draw.

Zhang has her own social circle in Beijing. She often discusses how to best look after children with other older women and she has made many friends since coming to Beijing. In the morning， she usually gets up early， and excises together with other senior people. She particularly enjoys taijijian， a form of Tai Chi that uses swords. She also joins other seniors for group dancing. At the weekends， she sometimes plays mahjong and sometimes does some grocery shopping. Other times she visits parks with other seniors.

Zhang admits that she misses her hometown， especially in summer， as it is hotter in Beijing compared to Daqing. Although in Beijing， she has a much more spacious apartment. Her husband passed away years ago， but her two sons still live in her hometown with their now grown-up children. She said that she misses them too.

Not all elders coming to Beijing from their hometown to take care of their grandchildren. Wu， from Shandong， is in her early 60s， and is looking after a man now in his 90s in Shangdi Community， Haidian District.

Wus husband died in a traffic accident when she was 47. Ever since， she has raised her three sons by herself. Wu， still in good health， does not want to live off any of her sons money.

Wu is hardworking and frugal. Even though she can live reasonably well with her salary as a nanny， she still tours the community from time to time to collect recyclable garbage and sells this to make a little extra. She said that she wishes to make more money.

Under anothers roof

Living with their children， some migrant seniors do not feel at home. Differences in lifestyle and in child-rearing customs sometimes lead to conflicts between migrant elders and their children or children-in-law.

Liu， a retired pharmacist from Shandong， moved to Beijing four years ago to look after her daughters newborn son. She likes to tidy up the house. However， she frustrates her daughter， who often has difficulty locating the items that Liu has stored away.

Another source of tension in the family is the grandsons love of candy， which he often asks for. Not wanting to reject the boys requests， Liu often gives him something sweet when he asks. The practice is often protested by her daughter who believes sweets will diminish his appetite for other more nutritious food.

Compared with the relationship between mother and daughter， that between a mother and her daughter-in-law has traditionally been more strained. Zhu， a woman in her 50s， has a rough time living with her son and his wife， both in their late 20s， in a rented apartment inTiantongyuan Community， Changping District.

Zhu came to Beijing from east Chinas Jiangsu Province to take care of her granddaughter， leaving behind her husband and their farm. Zhu is unhappy that rather than being paid to look after the baby， the young couple often asks her to pay for the familys daily expenses， including groceries.

Many migrant elders feel that they have sacrificed a lot for their childrens family， and they can be very sensitive to their childrens words and get upset easily， Lin Zi， a psychological counselor and founder of Shanghaiheadquartered Linzi Counseling， told Beijing Morning Post.

Nowadays， as Chinas social security system improves， more and more seniors are capable of financial independence， yet some of them suffer from mental health problems because their psychological needs cannot be met， said Mu Guangzong， a professor specializing in aging problems with the Institute of Population Research， Peking University.

“Various sectors should pay more attention to migrant seniors，” said Qi， the researcher with the Beijing Academy of Social Sciences. He said that no matter how busy they are， children should spend more time communicating with their elderly parents， and encourage them to make new friends.

“Similarly， the government should reduce policy barriers so that seniors can claim medical and social security payments in their new residency，” Qi said. He also suggests that seniors themselves should be more open-minded and actively adapt to the new living environment.

Some communities have organized activities open to migrant seniors. For instance， the Anningzhuang Community in Beijings Haidian District holds group dance competitions and sports meetings， which are also open to migrant seniors.

This summer， the Beijing Municipal Government granted migrant seniors who have resided in the capital for more than six months preferential treatment usually enjoyed by local seniors. For instance， seniors above the age of 65 can take a bus and visit parks and museums for free.