趣味英汉对照阅读

姜经志

The Art Collector

A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy （肮脏的） cat licking up （舔） milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take. He knows that the saucer （碟子） is extremely old and very valuable， so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.

The store owner replies， “Im sorry， but the cat isnt for sale.”

The collector says， “Please， I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. Ill pay you twenty dollars for that cat.” The owner says “Deal！” and hands over the cat.

The collector continues， “Hey， for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in （额外奉送） that old saucer. The cats been used to it and itll save me from having to get a dish.”

And the owner says， “Sorry， buddy， but thats my lucky saucer. So far this week Ive sold sixty-eight cats.”

艺术收藏家

一名著名艺术收藏家在城里走着，这时他注意到在一家店铺门口有一只脏猫在舔食盘中的牛奶。他先是一怔，然后恍然大悟。他知道那只盘子特别古老也很贵重，于是就漫不经心地走进店里，提出花两美元买那只猫。

店主说：“对不起，猫不出售。”

收藏家说：“拜托了，我家里需要一只饿猫逮老鼠。我愿意出20美元买那只猫。”

于是，店主说：“卖给你了。”然后把猫递了过去。

收藏家接着说：“嘿，我出了20美元，你能不能把那只旧盘子送给我？这只猫已经习惯用这只盘子，而且也省得我再去买新盘子。”

店主说：“对不起，伙计。那可是我的幸运碟子。到本周为止我已经卖掉了68只猫。”

Crime and Punishment

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary （盗窃） tried this creative defense： “My client merely inserted （伸入） his arm into the window and removed a few articles. His arm is not himself， and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb （肢）.”

After some deliberation （考虑）， the judge

replied， “Well put. Using your logic， I sentence the defendants arm to one years imprisonment. He can accompany it or not， as he chooses.” The defendant smiled. With his lawyers assistance he detached his artificial （人造的，假的） limb， laid it on the bench， and walked out.

罪与罚

一个为一名被控犯盗窃罪的人作辩护的律师，作出了很有创见的辩护。他说：“我的当事人只是将他的胳膊伸入窗户，拿走了几件东西。他的胳膊，不等于他这个人。所以我觉得你们没有理由因其肢体犯罪而对整个人进行惩罚。”

经过一番深思熟虑，法官回答道：“说得很好。按照你的逻辑，我判决被告的胳膊入狱一年。他可以陪它一起入狱，也可不必，随他的便。”被告面露微笑。在律师的帮助下他将假肢卸下，将其放在长凳上，然后走出了法庭。

“Where Do You Want It？”

“Well， Mr. Jones， you are going to have some injections， and then youll feel much better. A nurse will come and give you the first one this evening，” said the doctor.

In the evening a young nurse came to Mr. Joness bed and said to him， “Im going to give you your first injection now， Mr. Jones. Where do you want it？”

The old was surprised. He looked at the nurse for several seconds， and then he said， “Nobodys ever let me choose that before. Are you really going to let me choose now？”

“Yes， Mr. Jones，” the nurse answered. She was in a hurry. “Where do you want it？”

“Well， then，” the old man answered with a smile， “I want it in your left arm， please.”

“你想把针打在哪里？”

“琼斯先生，你得打几针，然后就会觉得好多了。今晚护士会过来给你打第一针。”医生说。

晚上一个年轻的护士来到琼斯的床前，说：“琼斯先生，我现在要给你打第一针。你想把针打在哪里？”

这位老人感到很惊讶。他看了护士片刻，然后说：“以前从来没有人让我选择。现在你真的想让我来选择吗？”

“是的，琼斯先生，”护士回答道。她得抓紧时间。“你想把针打在哪里？”

“嗯，那好，”老人微笑地回答道，“那就请你打在你的左胳臂上吧。”