Setting the Rules

A generational shift impacts how moms view local customs in China By Chen Ran

SKILLS TEST: A total of 121 yuesao take part in a professional skills competition in Guancheng District, Lanzhou City,northwest China’s Gansu Province, on April 18, 2012

Whenever Carol Richman went outside for a walk with her newborn Liliana Mei in Beijing, she was surprised that senior women would offer parenting tips.

“In America, I don’t think anyone would approach a stranger and tell her that something she was doing with her child was wrong,” said the 30-year-old lecturer at China Agricultural University.

The “wrong” thing Richman did, in local eyes, was taking almost daily walks so soon after delivery.

According to Chinese traditions, yuezi or con fi nement practices for the first month after childbirth is critical for motherhood adjustment and full recovery of the reproductive system. It is widely believed that a new mom who strictly follows this tradition will better rejuvenate.

Hence, there are some rules that can be traced back over 2,000 years. For instance, it is suggested that new moms stay at home, keep warm and avoid cooling foods as well as physical exercise to avoid aches and pains in old age.

“I think many such traditions are interesting,but a bit dif fi cult for Westerners to understand,”Richman told Beijing Review. “For example,most Americans I talked to thought that staying in bed or in the house for one month after the birth of a child was absolutely crazy.”

Other things that Richman drove locals“crazy” with went far beyond a daily walk. Back on her feet the same day, she showered about an hour after her baby was born, and about three weeks later she climbed to the top of the Datong’s Hanging Monastery in neighboring Shanxi Province.

“Americans don’t have a lot of traditions that everyone follows after giving birth. But I appreciate Chinese honesty and how much people here care about my baby,” she noted.

In similar circumstances, Tracy Lu, a math teacher at a Beijing-based international school,found that none of her Western colleagues followed any rules after childbirth.

Lu, 32, who used to work in Singapore after gaining a master degree in education, noticed that other Asian communities there, such as Malays and Indians, also have confinement rules. For Malays it is 44 days and 40 for Indians,both longer periods than the one-month yuezi in China.

Although dietary requirements and other practices among the above mentioned groups might vary, they share the common ideas of promoting blood circulation, strengthening joints and boosting milk supply for breastfeeding.

However, yuezi stereotypes such as no baths, hair washing, teeth brushing, cooling foods and drinks as well as outdoor activities,bothered Lu long before she met her Mr. Right.

“My knowledge of yuezi came from my mom, aunties and TV dramas. It sounded like a month-long house arrest,” Lu stated. “I was totally scared.”

The online communities

Lu is a member of China’s post-80s generation,the first generation born after the nationwide family planning policy was introduced in the late 1970s. With a population of over 200 million,the group is also regarded as great bene fi ciaries of the country’s opening-up policy and booming economy. Now the group is of childbearing age.

In the past decade, the number of newborns in China hit 15 to 17 million annually,even reaching 20 million in some years due to the auspicious implications of Chinese Zodiac animals such as dragon and pig, according to Lu Jiehua, sociology professor at Peking University.

When she found herself pregnant in 2011,Lu started researching and preparing. Besides reading books and consulting family mem-bers, she resorted to online communities like childcare forums and a social media networks for mother-and-baby information. Five months ahead of delivery, she drew up a yuezi shopping list. “It was summarized from the experiences and reviews posted online by new moms. I was happy to see that 90 percent of the stuff proved useful,” she noted.

“Unlike their parents, most of the post-80s generation is the only child of their families.They grew up lonely and had no idea about raising a kid,” said Wang Huainan, former Google’s Asia CMO and co-founder of babytree.com, one of the biggest mother-and-baby websites in the country.

“However, this group is familiar with the Internet,” he said. “It meets their needs in searching for information, exchanging and sharing experience, and also recording the lives of their newborns by writing diaries or uploading photos and video clips.”

Emerging social media platforms such as twitter-like Weibo can also be an important tool for new mothers.

Jin Beibei, 31, created her Weibo account in October 2010 and has nearly 700 followers. She updated her status right after giving birth to her son in April last year. “I am so proud of becoming a mother. For me, posting on Weibo during yuezi is an emotional release,” Jin said. “What really matters is sharing.”

Wang Jing, Jin’s classmate in high school,echoed her view. Besides providing updates on her newborn’s progress, Wang also wrote reviews mother-and-baby products during yuezi. “To be honest, I didn’t care much about the rules like no TV or Internet to keep radiation away,” she said. “Reading and updating Weibo posts are part of my life.”

Via Weibo, Wang has also kept up to date with a obstetrician at Peking Union Medical College Hospital named Zhang Rongya, who has nearly 1 million followers.

Wang learnt a lot from Zhang’s posts. The“no bath or teeth brushing rule,” according to the doctor, only came about when hygieneconditions were not guaranteed in old times. In fact, new moms are encouraged to shower as long as she stays warm.

HI BABY: A woman holds her newborn at Fugu County Hospital in northwest China’s Shaanxi Province on May 15, 2012

“It is one of my major sources for yuezirelated information,” said Wang, who gave birth to a son in September last year. “Plus, I’m willing to share the awesome stuff I used since pregnancy with more moms-to-be.”

helping hands

Traditionally, family members take care of mothers and their newborns during yuezi. But in recent years, more and more young parents prefer to hire a yuesao or “confinement lady”for assistance.

A yuesao, aged between 30 and 60, usually stay with new moms throughout the yuezi period. Unlike nannies, a yuesao provide spostnatal care, teaches and assists parents with feeding,nursery set up and sleep. A yuesao can either work 8 to 9 hours during daytime or be on duty 24/7. In Beijing, some 50 domestic worker agencies have over 10,000 contracted yuesao.The monthly salary for a mid-level yuesao increased from 500 yuan ($60) in 2001 to 5,000 yuan ($770) in 2011.

“I think my job is meaningful. I’m more than a nanny. I’m a family helper,” said Liu Dongxia,56, a cert ifi ed yuesao.

Coming from Laishui County, north China’s Hebei Province, Liu worked on a farm before taking a two-month yuesao training course in July 2010 when the profession became popular across the country.

“I have two children, which means I experienced yuezi twice. But what I learnt from the course renewed my knowledge,” she told Beijing Review.

Besides theory on nursing and postnatal care, Liu, who is serving her fi fth family, was also required to learn basic psychology in order to cope with possible postnatal depression.

“Today, it is not all about rules and taboos,but a philosophy that focuses on a new mom’s health, both physically and mentally,” she noted.

Similar to yuesao, yuezi centers, aimed at high-end clients, have also emerged in recent years. In Beijing, a monthly package, including an individual room with a king-size bed, daily mother-and-baby care, massages and SPA,swimming as well as set meals, can cost between 50,000 yuan ($7,800) to 280,000 yuan($44,000).

“Yuezi is not a matter of physical condition,but of perception,” wrote Dr. Zhang in an article published on the Chinese website of the Financial Times. “Based on my own experience during yuezi,I prefer to absorb the essence of both cultures while leaving ridiculous rules behind.”

Lu, who gave birth to a girl last September,agrees with Zhang. “Before delivery, my Western colleagues asked about my plans for yuezi. I told them I hired a yuesao and would follow the rules with a critical eye,” she told Beijing Review.“Everything worked out just fi ne and I realized yuezi is not the great mystery I had thought it to be.” ■