A Slip of Paper

The couple held hands. They both cherishedthis marriage very much. They were bothin their late thirties， and married for the secondtime. Their remarried life， however， wasabout as sweet as their first marriages. Theyboth thanked god for giving them the chanceto love each other. He had an eight-year-oldson， and she had a seven year-old daughter.They treated each other’s child as their own.The couple enjoyed the sunbeam of life andmany wonderful things in the world. Theylived years being courteous to each other andwatching their children grow. They were neverseen bickering. Even their children proudlyremarked： “Our parents have never gotten madat each other.”

In fact， they had their share of unpleasantexperiences. Life is all about chores and trifles，and it is quite normal to be at odds. However，they tried to dissolve any barrier and hide anydispleasure between them from others. Afterall， they each had a failed marriage beforeand knew what forgiveness and appreciationof each other meant. Once， he did somethingwrong. She continued to think about it and almostlost her temper. However， she ultimatelyheld it back. Later， she wrote him a note on aslip of paper and placed it on the bedside tablein their bedroom. The note read： Did you dothis today without much forethought？ Soon，he saw the slip of paper and began to blamehimself. He immediately took his pen and repliedon the back of the paper： So sorry， it’s myfault.

After this first time， communicating via aslip of paper gradually became a habit betweenthem.

“My mom is careless in her life. If she doessomething wrong， you can tell me. I will passyour words on to her. If you tell her yourself，she will be embarrassed.” She understood thismessage. Her mother-in-law， who had lived inthe countryside， was now temporarily livingwith them. Once， in good faith， she remindedher mother-in law about some of her bad livinghabits， which had perhaps upset the motherin-law. Thus， she immediately replied on theback of the note： Alright， I will be careful nexttime.

Increasingly， they felt that this method wasquite effective. Writing a message on a slip ofpaper could convey what is inappropriate tosay directly， save the face and self esteem of theother， and avoid embarrassing the other.

“Why did you secretly give your sistermoney？ I’m not stingy！” It was not necessaryto reply to some notes as some were meantonly to ask the other to be careful or to correctsomething the next time. Yet， they tried to replyevery time to show that they were serious andrespected each other. “I’m to blame！ You give itto her yourself next time.”

Later， for a period of time， they stoppedcommunicating through slips of paper. After afew years， once the initial novelty of marriagehad worn off， they didn’t care much aboutcommunication as before. However， they soonresumed the ritual， which had been theirhabit， of reading a note first and then calmingdown for a moment before replying witha pen and paper. After all， face-to-face remindersand explanations were less considerateand less calm. Sometimes， angry wordsspoken only made them unhappy. Thus， theycontinued to use slips of paper.

“How could you glare at me in front of somany people？”

“My eyes are small， but look bigger when they glare.”

At first， they ceremoniously remained seriousin asking and careful in replying. However，bit by bit， they became less serious and learnedto be humorous. Humor could reduce the angerof the other by half. They both came to appreciatetheir own sense of humor， which hadn’tbeen inspired in the past. Time flies. More than30 years passed. Immediately after her 70thbirthday， she passed away. The two childrenworried about him living alone， and asked himto come live with them. He refused， saying hewould maintain his same life in the old housethat kept the memory of their mom.

He missed her all the time， and his eyes alwaysteared up. Those slips of paper， of differentsizes， colors， and ages， had all been carefullykept and tied into several bundles by rubberbands. He took them all out and began to readthem， again. He didn’t read a lot at one time.Instead， he ‘chewed on’ two or three slips everyday like delicious food. He nibbled on themwith pleasure， trying to prolong their delicacyin his mouth.

When reading a slip of paper， he alwaysbegan to recall the year， season， and reason forwriting it. After reading the front， or back， ofeach slip， he would try to guess what was writtenon the other side. If he guessed correctly，he would smile happily. If he couldn’t rememberwhat was written， or misremembered， hewould shake his head slightly， smile， and sayto himself： “I’m too old to remember all thisclearly.”

“Did you do this today without much forethought？”

“So sorry， it’s my fault.”

As he read the notes， his heart began to getwarm. “I’m getting so old. Who could treasureme other than you？” He couldn’t immediatelyremember why she had said this. He rackedhis brain about it， but had only a vague recollection.It was 20 years ago， when a bald， oldman surnamed Tao， who wore a torn tie allyear， wanted to make advances to her， makinghim jealous. Turning over the slip of paper，he saw the correct answer： If Mr. Tao teachesyou sword practice again， don’t let him leanagainst you. It will be laughable. He sheepishlychuckled.

In the evenings， as he re-read the slips of paper，he burned them in front of her portrait. Hedid this so she could relive， together with himfrom another world， the softness and happinessof the years they had shared. Their childrenknew they communicated using slips of paper.Since their father was relieving his loneliness byre-reading them， they didn’t worry about himnearly as much. He passed away， peacefully，after burning the last slip of paper. The childrenwere in tears. The son， choking up， said： “Thisway of communicating had nothing to do withwhether they were deaf， dumb， or neither！” “Ofcourse，” said the daughter. “It was their uniqueway of keeping love alive.”