借景抒情、寓情于景

李奕群

【问题导读】

人生有情感，遇物牵所思。恰当的环境描写有利于推动故事情节的发展，烘托人物的心理活动，给读者身临其境的感受。读后续写中加入适当的环境描写，可以让文章更有画面感，正如阅读中文的古诗时，读到“大漠孤烟直，长河落日圆”，抑或是“明月松间照，清泉石上流”等诗句，我们的脑海里不自觉就会浮现一幅幅美丽的画面。在大自然中，有很多元素，风、花、天空、云朵等。人物的心情也是变化多样的。然而，用英文去描述这么多优美的环境是极具挑战性的。有些学生还会走一个极端，写大量背过的句子，导致续写文章浮于表面。

【名师导学】

借景抒情、寓情于景是写作中常用的手法。环境描写可以描写事件发生的环境，也可以描写人看到的景象或感受到的某种情绪。环境描写只起画龙点睛的作用，环境描写不要写太长，且环境描写一定是为内容服务而不是为了让文章看起来高大上。所以写作的时候千万不要本末倒置，不要一味地堆砌华丽的辞藻，不要寫一些无关紧要的套句或者环境描写。

环境描写在读后续写中的作用：

1. 衬托或突出人物的性格、心理等。

2. 暗示或推动故事情节发展。

3. 增添或烘托某种气氛和意境，奠定全文基调。

4. 揭示主题，深化主旨。

【案例导引】

阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。

The icy wind howled across the empty street and it was an unusually quiet day in theemergency room on the New Year. It was quiet， except for the nurses who were standingaround the nurses’ station complaining about having to work over the New Year， for peoplewere supposed to be spending time with their families and exchanging gifts and wishes.

I was the guiding nurse that day and had just done the cleanup in the waiting room.Since there were no patients waiting to be seen at the time， I returned to the nurses’ stationfor a cup of hot coffee that someone had brought in for the New Year. Just then， a colleaguecame back and told me I had five patients waiting to be evaluated.

I was surprised，“Five， how did I get five？ I was just out there and no one was in thewaiting room.”

“Well， there are five signed in.”

So I went straight out and called the first name. Five bodies showed up at my guidingdesk， a pale short woman and four small children in untidy clothing.

“Are you all sick？”I asked suspiciously.

“Yes，”she said weakly and lowered her head.

“Okay，”I replied， unconvinced，“Who’s first？”One by one they sat down， and Iasked the usual beginning questions. When it came to the descriptions of their symptoms，things got a little vague. Two of the children had headaches， but the headaches weren’t accompaniedby the normal body language of holding the head or trying to keep it still. Twochildren had earaches， but only one could tell me which ear was affected. The mother complainedof a cough， but seemed to work to produce it.

Something was wrong with the picture. Our hospital policy， however， was not to turnaway any patient， so we would see them. When I explained to the mother that it might be alittle while before a doctor saw her， because there were several more critical patients， sheresponded，“Take your time. It’s warm here and there is an atmosphere of the New Year forthat tree with the New Year gifts.”

注意：续写词数应为150左右。

Paragraph 1：

Then she turned and， with a smile， settled her kids in the waiting room.__________

__________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

Paragraph 2：

My colleagues， complaining about working over the New Year， showed sympathy for the homeless family.___________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________

一、故事梳理

這篇文章是以第一人称的视角讲述新年期间当护士们正在抱怨新年节日期间仍要上班时，医院来了5位病人的故事。一位母亲带着四个孩子在新年之际无家可归，护士们都对此深表同情并且想要给他们带来更多温暖。

二、语言分析

通过观察我们发现文章的开头和结尾处都有环境描写。例如：

1. The icy wind howled across the empty street and it was an unusually quiet day inthe emergency room on the New Year.（Para. 1）

冰冷的风呼啸着穿过空荡荡的街道，新年这天，急诊室异常安静。

先观察这一部分环境描写里的形容词icy、empty、quiet和动词howl，虽然没有一个是描写心理的，但是我们很容易感受到人物此处伤感的情绪，这为后文奠定了感情基调：正值新年假期却不能休息，还要继续上班，护士们对此有诸多抱怨。

2. Take your time. It’s warm here and there is an atmosphere of the New Year for thattree with the New Year gifts. （Para. 9）

慢慢来。这里很暖和，并且还有新年的气氛，因为那儿有一棵挂满新年礼物的树。

这一段环境描写出现在那位母亲说的话里。句中的形容词warm 和an atmosphereof the New Year的意象很容易让我们感受到人物此时的心理状态是幸福、温暖的。这也和开头处的环境描写形成对比：同样在医院里，要上班的护士们感受到的是冷风呼啸，而这位无家可归的母亲感受到的却是幸福、温暖。

三、常用招式

环境描写分为客观和主观两种角度：客观角度从环境本身入手，主观角度则从观察者的角度描写环境。通常在描写时主、客观角度交替进行。人物的心情也是变化多样的，但是总体可以分为正面和负面，不同元素的环境描写有不同的作用。

（一）风

1. The wind/breeze， soft and sweet， clicked through tree branches.

微风轻拂，柔和又清新，拨动着树枝。

2. A gust of wind blew and parted the drooping branches of the willow.

一阵狂风吹来，拨开了柳树低垂的枝条。

3. The leaves rustled in the wind.

树叶在风中沙沙作响。

4. A sweet and soft breeze wafted through my hair.

轻柔的和风吹过我的头发。

5. The wind cried wildly like a monster.

狂风像野兽般嚎叫。

6. A gust of wind ships the dust along the road.

一阵狂风吹来，卷起路边的尘土。

7. The icy wind started howling， cutting my face like a sharp knife.

刺骨的寒风开始咆哮，像一把锋利的刀子割在我的脸上。

（二）雷雨

1. The rain came pouring down， and the winds beat against the house.

大雨倾盆而至，狂风拍打着房屋。

2. The drops of rain are huge. Soon， the road was filled with puddles from the rain.

大颗大颗的雨滴落下。很快，路上就满是水坑。

3. Thunder begins to grumble in the distance.

远处开始响起轰隆隆的雷声。

4. The bolt of lightning stabs the sky.

一道闪电划过天空。

5. Suddenly， an earthshaking clap of thunder roared from the storm outside.

突然间，震耳欲聋的雷声从外面咆哮而来。

6. The lights flickered once and died， covering everything in a blanket of blackness.Thunder continued to shake the sky and lightning illuminated the store for seconds.

灯光闪烁了一下，又消失了，让一切都被笼罩在黑暗里。雷声持续不断，似乎天空都在颤抖，闪电照亮了商店几秒钟。

（三）雪花

1. It was still cold and frigid with the snow constantly blowing and whipping onto our faces.

天气极其寒冷，雪花不停飘落，打在我们的脸上。

2. One snowy day， the winds grew stronger and the snow turned into a blinding snowstorm.

在一個雪天，风越来越强，大雪变成了白茫茫一片的暴风雪。

3. The frozen snow crunch under our feet.

结了冰的雪花在我们脚下嘎吱嘎吱响。

4. The feathery snowflakes danced in the night air， making a beautiful picture.

鹅毛般的雪花在夜空中飞舞，成了一幅美丽的图画。

（四）天空

1. The sky is overcast， darkened with gloomy clouds.

天空乌云密布。

2. The sky was a curdled gray burdened with lumps of clouds.

天空是昏暗的灰色，浓云密布。

3. The sky stood far and blue.

天空蔚蓝高远。

4. The color of the sky was changing， first light gray， then dark gray， and finally dark and dense.

天空的颜色开始变化，从浅灰色到深灰色，最后一片漆黑。

（五）阳光、月光、星光

1. The sky was dotted with sparkling stars， shining like diamonds.

天空中点缀着璀璨的繁星，像钻石般闪耀。

2. Clusters of stars decorated the vast sky like sparkling jewels.

繁星像闪闪发光的珠宝一样点缀着广阔的天空。

3. Spectacular pink shades marked the western skyline. The sky darkened and， one by one， the stars shone with a soft light.

绚丽的粉红色的暮色标记着西边的天际线。天空暗下来了，星星一颗接一颗地发出柔和的光。

4. Stars winked at me in a darkening sky.

夜空中的星星向我眨眼。

5. The sun was beginning to set， glittering red.

太阳开始西落，闪烁着红色的斜晖。

6. A glimmer of light spilled into the corridor.

一丝微光泄入了走廊。

（六）水流、河流、海洋

1. The water was deep blue and sunlight glittered on its looking glassclear surface.

溪水湛蓝，阳光在玻璃一样透明的水面闪闪发光。

2. The faint sound of water was tumbling through the valley.

潺潺的水声在山谷里回响。

3. A little way off was a small brook， rushing and sparkling along between green banks.离此不远处，有一条小溪，在绿色的河岸间奔腾闪耀。

4. The beach was bathed in the amberlike sunshine.

沙滩沐浴在琥珀般的阳光中。

5. The gurgle of the stream soothed me.

汩汩的溪水声让我平静下来。

6. The expanse of blue water stretched in every direction to the horizon， frothy waves lapping at a sand beach.

蓝色的海水向四面八方延伸到地平线，白色泡沫状的海浪拍打着沙滩。

7. The ship would lie there mirrored in a perfectly unmoving glossy sea.

船会停靠在那里，映衬在一片波澜不兴的、光彩夺目的海水中。

【参考范文】

（画横线部分使用了环境描写。）

Paragraph 1：

Then she turned and， with a smile， settled her kids in the waiting room. The youngest kid was staring at gifts on the tree， exclaiming something to her mother. Met withrefusal， the wretched creature was on the verge of tears. The guilty mother looked upset，great sorrow clouding her face. Realizing they were homeless， I went back and told my colleagues what had happened.

Paragraph 2：

My colleagues， complaining about working over the New Year， showed sympathy for thehomeless family. Soon we were busy preparing presents for our unexpected guests， who justwanted to stay warm on the New Year. With gifts in hand， the kids couldn’t restrain theirjoy. As they were leaving， The mother hugged each of us and whispered，“You’re ourangels and it’s your love that warms us up！”

【模擬导练】

阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。

On Sunday， Nicholas， a teenager， went skiing with his father at Sugarloaf Mountain inMaine.

They had a wonderful day and decided to drive home to Massachusetts after a finalrun. They took a chairlift to the top of the mountain， where they split up to go down in differenttrails. When the father finished his run， he headed to the parking lot to wait for hisson. However， Nicholas never showed up.

It turned out that a fierce snowstorm had swept into the area as Nicholas was on hisway down. Unable to see far， he accidentally turned off the path and ventured down thewest side of the mountain. Before he knew it， Nicholas was lost and all alone. His way backto the ski trails was blocked. What’s worse， he didn’t have any food or water with him， letalone his cell phone or other supplies. The sun began to sink and he was getting colder by the minute.

Nicholas had no idea where he was. He tried not to panic. He thought about BearGrylls’ survival show Man vs Wild that he used to watch on TV. In the show， Grylls is abandonedin a wild area and has to help himself out. It was time to put the tips he had learnedto use.

He decided to stop moving around. He needed the energy， and the winds weren’t asstrong in the valley where he stood as they were up on the mountain. Plus， there was a betterchance of someone finding him if he stayed put. The first thing he did was to seek shelterfrom the freezing wind and snow. Using his skis， Nicholas built a snow cave. He gathereda huge mass of snow and dug out a hole in the middle. Then he piled branches on topof himself， like a blanket， to stay as warm as he could.

When evening came， Nicholas was really hungry. He ate some snow and drank somewater from a nearby stream so that he wouldn’t dehydrate （脫水）. Then he returned to hiscave and slept.

注意：续写词数应为150左右。

Paragraph 1：

When Nicholas didn’t show up， his father realized there must be something wrong.

______________________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________________

Paragraph 2：

The next day， Nicholas heard the sound of a snowmobile.

______________________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________________

【评价导思】

1. 我的续写文章在语言风格上与前文是否协同一致？

______________________________________________________________________________________

2. 我使用了哪些环境描写？

______________________________________________________________________________________

3. 我的环境描写是否为我的写作内容服务？它们分别起了哪些作用？

______________________________________________________________________________________