高考书面表达的四维提升——词、句、段、篇

湖北 庞 群

书面表达旨在考查学生的英语写作能力，评价其能否运用相关常识和语言知识进行有效的文字表达，完成特定的交际任务。高考英语书面表达评分原则明确规定，“评分时应注意的主要内容为：内容要点、应用词汇和语法结构的丰富性和准确性及上下文的连贯性”。因此，除了注重词句表达是否丰富、准确外，内容完整、逻辑连贯、结构清晰也是极为重要的方面。书面表达的提升应是多维度的，只有词、句、段、篇秀其外慧其中的文章才能赢得阅卷老师的青睐。

词——准确亮眼

在高考书面表达评分原则中，“应用词汇的丰富性与准确性”是评分时应注意的主要内容之一，丰富多样、地道准确的词汇或短语能够为文章增色不少。

词汇替换

1.I like reading while my sister likes watching TV series.

__________________________________________________________________________________

2.Today many young students dream of becoming famous online.

__________________________________________________________________________________

3.I think reading is very good for us.

__________________________________________________________________________________

4.I really hope that you can consider my suggestions.

__________________________________________________________________________________

5.Would you please help me to turn down the radio?

__________________________________________________________________________________

6.He refused to listen to his father.

__________________________________________________________________________________

7.A new library is being built in our school.

__________________________________________________________________________________

8.Your efforts will be very important.

__________________________________________________________________________________

9.It is more and more important to receive a good education nowadays.

__________________________________________________________________________________

10.The lives of Chinese people have increased steadily in the past twenty years.

__________________________________________________________________________________

素材积累

?普通表达 高级表达 普通表达 高级表达happy delighted good outstanding/extraordinary/remarkable sad depressed/frustrated thank sb for sth be grateful to sb for sth boring dull cause result in/give rise to worried anxious be famous for have a high reputation for use employ rich wealthy/well off big vast/enormous poor needy/badly off new brand new know/realize be aware of different various/a variety of attractive appealing/inviting/fascinating energetic dynamic more and more an increasing number of enough abundant/adequate clever bright/smart/intelligent brave courageous/fearless very extremely/exceedingly only merely clearly obviously/apparently/evidently difficult demanding certainly definitely/undoubtedly on time promptly totally completely/absolutely/entirely finish fulfill/accomplish support advocate/in favour of advantage strength/virtue disadvantage weakness/shortcoming/drawback ability competence important of great importance/significance as soon as immediately/instantly want to do intend to do/desire to do/be eager to do very tired exhausted/worn out be busy with be occupied with/be engaged in sometimes occasionally be made up of consist of/be composed of express convey be used to(doing)sth be accustomed to(doing)sth make up for compensate for try one's best to do sth make every endeavour to do sth choice alternative most the majority of result consequence suddenly abruptly/unexpectedly proper appropriate so therefore/thus/hence/as a consequence should ought to you'd better... you may as well.../you are supposed to...carefully attentively remember keep...in mind get acquire/obtain take the responsibility shoulder the responsibility(to do/for doing...)tell sb sth inform sb of/about sth believe be firmly convinced that...

点石成金

1.用丰富的亮点词汇替换掉普通词汇能提升文章的档次，但这要以准确、得体为前提。熟悉亮点词汇使用的语境才能保证表达的自然、流畅。

2.在日常的学习中，我们要注重亮点词汇的积累，将以上表格不断丰富和延伸，并坚持训练替换思维。只有通过不断地运用、总结，我们在临场发挥时才能避免生搬硬套，做到运用自如。

句——自然高级

高考书面表达评分原则中对第五档作文有“应用了较多的语法结构”这一要求，这些复杂多样的结构的正确运用，可以增加文章语言的层次感，使文章丰富多彩，更好地展现作者的语言运用能力。这些高级句式主要是指定语从句、状语从句、名词性从句、非谓语动词、强调句、倒装句等。

句式改写

1.I don't know what to do next,so I am writing to ask for your advice.(现在分词作状语)

__________________________________________________________________________________

2.Because I am worried about the time available,I made a detailed list of what to do that day.(过去分词作状语)

__________________________________________________________________________________

3.As the final term is drawing near,all the students are occupied with their revision.(with复合结构)

__________________________________________________________________________________

4.The theme of the show is environmental protection.It is of great importance in today's society.(定语从句)

__________________________________________________________________________________

5.His willing heart to help others impressed me most.(名词性从句)

__________________________________________________________________________________

6.Not the grades but your attitude counts.(强调句)

__________________________________________________________________________________

7.We can achieve success only in this way.(倒装句)

__________________________________________________________________________________

8.I passed the physics exam because of your help.(虚拟语气)

__________________________________________________________________________________

9.Today,we use computers not only in our work but in our everyday life as well.(主动改被动)

__________________________________________________________________________________

10.However,measures should be taken to deal with this.(插入语)

__________________________________________________________________________________

素材积累

其他常用高级句式 例句As is known to all,it takes perseverance to succeed.As the saying goes,“Where there is a will,there is a way.”As is often the case,it's the poor who suffer most.状语从句的省略 If necessary,you should turn to your parents for help.Although faced with many problems,they didn't lose heart.wh-ever引导名词性从句 Whatever she says will not make any difference to our arrangements.wh-ever引导让步状语从句 Whichever road you take,it will lead you to the station.祈使句，+and... Follow your doctor's advice,and you will get better soon.祈使句，+or... Take the chance,or you will regret it.the reason why...be that... The reason why you're always upset is that you are under great pressure.not only...but(also)...倒装句 Not only does he speak English fluently,but(also)he is good at French.so/such...that...倒装句 So excited was I that I couldn't wait to try wearing them.Such a precious chance is it that you can't afford to miss it.It was not until...that...强调句 It was not until he read the newspaper that he knew what had happened.If Iwere you,Iwould...虚拟语气 If I were you,I would apologize to him.感叹句 What a splendid moment it is!How worried I am about the exam!the+比较级,the+比较级 The harder you work,the greater progress you will make.It is(high)time that... It is time that they got/should get down to doing their work.be doing...when... I was doing my homework when the light went out.as引导非限制性定语从句?It's obvious that she didn't know the truth.It's widely acknowledged/accepted that light travels faster than sound.It's useless/no use/good doing a lot of work without planning.it作形式宾语 The new method makes it possible to complete the task faster.There is no point/sense(in)... There is no point/sense(in)doing a lot of work without planning.There is no doubt that... There is no doubt that smoking contributes to heart disease.There is no denying that... There's no denying that this is an urgent event.No wonder(that)... No wonder you're tired,you've been walking for hours.it作形式主语

点石成金

1.高级句式的使用要以自然、流畅为前提，生搬硬套的高级句式读起来反而别扭，也会降低阅卷老师的好感。因此，在平常的学习中要经常进行高级句式应用与替换的思维训练。

2.避免过度使用长难句，应长短句交错，主动、被动交错，或增加插入语，使文章抑扬顿挫。

段——丰富连贯

评分原则中的“内容要点的丰富性”要求学生在完成试题规定的任务之外对内容要点增加适当的细节，使文章更丰富。评分原则中的“上下文的连贯性”，以及在对第五档作文要求中的“有效地使用了语句间的连接成分”，明确规定了要使用恰当的衔接词句以增加文章的逻辑连贯性。

段落加工

(2020年全国乙卷书面表达)你校正在组织英语作文比赛。请以身边值得尊敬和爱戴的人为题，写一篇短文参赛，内容包括：

1.人物简介；

2.尊敬和爱戴的原因。注意：

1.词数100左右；

2.短文题目和首句已为你写好。

学生习作第二段：

My father is warm-hearted and always willing to help others.He is also very hardworking and shoulders the responsibility of supporting the whole family.But he never shows any sign of depression or impatience.He is always energetic and optimistic,encouraging us to adopt a positive attitude towards life.

加工后：___________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

素材积累

表观点表列举/并列/递进表转折表因果表时间in my opinion,in my view,from my point of view,as far as Iam concerned,as for...,personally,I reckon that...Detailed...is/are listed below....is/are as follows.Let me explain...to you/share...with you in detail/at length.first of all/first and foremost,second,last but not least firstly,secondly,lastly(and most importantly)above all,to begin/start with,what's more,furthermore,moreover,besides,in addition,additionally,still less,to make matters worse,worse still for one thing...for another...on the one hand...on the other hand...What deserves mentioning/a mention is that...What ought to be laid more stress/emphasis on is that...Similarly,we are supposed to pay attention to...Equal importance ought to be attached to...What calls for special attention is that...?yet,however,while,otherwise,on the contrary,though,although,even if/though,regardless of,whereas,nevertheless,despite/in spite of,despite the fact that...because,as,since,for,thanks to,due to,as a result of,so,therefore,hence,thus,as a result/consequence,consequently,on account of,...which accounts for...,the reason why...is that...,that's why...nowadays,at present,currently,recently,previous,previously,afterwards,after which...,eventually,in the end,at last,afterwards,since then,from then on,immediately,suddenly,meanwhile indeed,surely It goes without saying that...There's no denying the fact that...It is out of question that...Nothing is more important than the fact that...表解释/举例表强调such as,for example/instance,take...for example,that is to say,in other words,to put it simply,to illustrate my point...表总结in short,in brief,in conclusion,in a word,to sum up,all in all,on the whole,in general,briefly,to put it short,to put it in a nutshell I will conclude by saying that...As has been mentioned above...As stated in the previous paragraph...All things considered/Everything taken into consideration,we can conclude...From what has been discussed above,we may safely draw the conclusion that.../I'm secure in the knowledge/conclusion that...

点石成金

1.适当增加细节能使文章内容更丰富，但细节的添加需围绕要点，且不宜在某个要点上添加过多，适当、均匀地添加细节才能保持段落结构的合理、均匀。

2.除了衔接词和短语，恰当的主题句与过渡句也能使段落逻辑更连贯。

篇——完整清晰

高考书面表达评分原则中对第五档作文的要求有“覆盖所有内容要点”和“全文结构紧凑”，这就要求考生认真审题，所写文章应包含所有要点，使内容完整。同时文章的结构应清晰、紧凑，一般以三段式“总—分—总”为宜：

Heading：点题；一两个句子，开门见山(书信一般为写信目的)。

Body：中心记述部分；层次分明。

Ending：小结；呼应主题(书信一般为表达愿望等)。

篇章升华

假定你是李华，你的一位美国朋友Peter想来中国旅行，他写信给你想了解到北京后乘坐何种交通工具旅行比较适宜。请你给他写一封回信，建议他乘坐高铁(CRH/China Railway High-speed)。理由：1.便捷、准点；2.舒适、安全；3.购票方便、价格适宜。学生习作：

Dear Peter,

I'm expecting you to come to China.To answer your question about the best transport in Beijing,I'm writing to provide my advice.I think China Railway High-speed is the best means of transportation.We all like it because it's safe and always arrives on time.It has a great many different lines and can reach every province,so it is very convenient.And it also has very good service.You can buy the ticket easily and conveniently and the price is not that expensive!CRH makes our life better and is outstanding in the world.I believe that you will be satisfied with it.

Yours,

Li Hua

请从高级词汇、丰富句式、段内衔接与篇章结构四个维度对该作文进行升华。

__________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________

点石成金

虽然本文按“词—句—段—篇”的顺序分析了书面表达四个维度的提升方法，但实际的写作应是从宏观到微观的过程，先构思篇章布局，后确定段落层次，再加入亮点句式，最后换用高级词汇。因此，高考书面表达的完成过程应按以下步骤：

1.认真审题，要点完整；

2.谋篇布局，结构清晰；

3.增加细节，衔接连贯；

4.丰富句式，表达自然；

5.高级词汇，运用准确。