读后续写要写好，“五读四写”要做到

雷霜

读后续写，顾名思义要先读，然后再写，那么，在读的过程中要注意读什么呢？在写的过程又要注意哪些呢？本文以2017年11月浙江卷高考题为例，说明“读”至少要包括五项内容，“写”要注意四点。

阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写的词数应为150左右。

A Vacation with My Mother

I had an interesting childhood. It was filled with surprises and amusements， all because of my mother—loving， sweet， yet absent-minded and forgetful. One strange family trip we took when I was eleven tells a lot about her.

My two sets of grandparents lived in Colorado and North Dakota， and my parents decided to spend a few weeks driving to those states and seeing all the sights along the way. As the first day of our trip approached， David， my eight-year-old brother， and I unwillingly said good-bye to all of our friends. Who knew if wed ever see them again？Finally， the moment of our departure arrived， and we loaded suitcases， books， games， camping equipment， and a tent into the car and bravely drove off. We bravely drove off again two hours later after wed returned home to get the purse and travelers checks Mom had forgotten.

David and I were always a little nervous when using gas station bathrooms if Mom was driving while Dad slept：“You stand outside the door and play lookout（放哨）while I go， and Ill stand outside the door and play lookout while you go.”I had terrible pictures in my mind：“Honey， where are the kids？” “What？！Oh， Gosh ... I thought they were being awfully quiet.” We were never actually left behind in a strange city， but we werent about to take any chances.

On the fourth or fifth night， we had trouble finding a hotel with a vacancy. After driving in vain for some time， Mom suddenly got a great idea：Why didnt we find a house with a likely-looking backyard and ask if we could set up tent there？David and I became nervous. To our great relief， Dad turned down the idea. Mom never could understand our objections（反對）. If a strange family showed up on her front doorstep， Mom would have been delighted. She thinks everyone in the world is as nice as she is. We finally found a vacancy in the next town.

Paragraph 1：The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we brought with us.

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Paragraph 2：We drove through several states and saw lots of sights along the way.

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一、读懂大意，理清脉络

在续写前，首先应读懂所给材料，理清故事的主要人物及人物之间的关系，读懂主要情节，理清故事脉络。因为读后续写不是无视所给短文的独立创作，必须要延续原作者的写作思路，所以续写部分与所给材料要语义衔接、前后连贯。我们可以从标题、六要素、语篇结构、情感变化等方面对前文进行解读，从而帮助我们顺利地进行续写。

1. 读标题

通过标题A Vacation with My Mother，可知本文为记叙文，中心人物是妈妈，主要事件为度假。

2. 读首句

由首句I had an interesting childhood可知，作者有一个“有趣的”童年，可推知本文是讲童年趣事。通读文本可知，本文讲述了“我”和爸爸、妈妈及弟弟一家四口自驾去祖父母和外祖母家旅游，由于妈妈的健忘而发生的一系列有趣的事情。

3. 读要素

记叙文有六要素，即为时间（when）、地点（where）、人物（who）、事件（what）、原因（why）、经过及结局（how）。在读文章时，我们需要特别关注这几个关键要素，因为这是我们获取文章主要内容的重要途径，我们可以利用表格的形式对这个故事的六要素进行分类，如下图所示：

4. 读结构

文章结构是文章部分与部分、部分与整体之间的内在联系和外部形式的统一，是谋篇布局的手段。任何一篇文章都有其结构特点，我们在读前文时，应关注文章结构，这对我们顺利完成续写有很大的帮助。通过分析可知，这篇文章的结构模式属于总分式，如下图所示：

5. 读情感变化

语言是作者表达其情感的有力工具，正所谓“言为心声”。人物感情的变化往往对情节的推动发展起关键作用。当读者抓住了人物情感变化的主线时，文章的主要情节就更加清晰明了。

本文中，作者的心情变化可以用以下表格来表示：

二、根据文本线索， 展开合理续写

1. 依據文章大意，确定写作内容

通读全文可知，故事的人物是作者一家人，事件为奇怪但却有趣的旅程，事件发生的原因就在于作者妈妈的健忘。

第一自然段是文章总起段，首句“I had an interesting childhood”奠定了全文的基调是积极正面的。告诉我们，作者的童年是有趣的，充满了惊喜与快乐，都是因为有一个可爱善良但健忘的妈妈。尾句“One strange family trip we took when I was eleven tells a lot about her”是此篇文章的中心句，引出了主要事件family trip。

第二、三、四段分为围绕妈妈“loving， sweet， yet absent-minded and forgetful（善良与健忘）”的性格特征而展开。

第二段，讲述了因妈妈忘记钱包和旅行支票全家不得不折返。体现妈妈健忘。

第三段，我和David在加油站洗手间心惊胆战，唯恐妈妈把我们忘在了加油站。体现妈妈健忘。

第四段，因酒店客满，妈妈提议找个院落搭帐篷过夜被我们集体拒绝的事情。体现妈妈善良。

所以续写的第五段也应该描述一件在旅途中发生的能体现妈妈性格特征的事件。

续写的第六段为结尾段，记叙的内容应该是这趟旅行的结束部分，可以与首段进行呼应，再次突出旅程的有趣。

2. 依据关键信息，设计故事情节

续写第一自然段的首句为“The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we brought with us”，这句话要引出接下来的续写内容，需要我们认真分析。此句话中的关键词为tent。在第四自然段中，妈妈已经提到了找个院落搭帐篷过夜，被我们集体否决。在续写的这一段中，不可能再次否决使用帐篷，否则故事就不能顺利进展，所以此段应围绕帐篷展开写作。为了突出妈妈的健忘，可以把情节设置为妈妈又一次把帐篷遗忘在酒店或营地等。

续写第二自然段的首句为“We drove through several states and saw lots of sights along the way”，这句话是环境描写，衬托作者愉悦的心情，所以在这个自然段应描绘我们一家快乐度假的场景。我们可以通过以下问题来设计情节。

3. 依据情感变化，烘托故事气氛

在整个故事中，作者的情感变化为unwilling—a little nervous—nervous—relieved—happy。在续写的后两个自然段中，可充分利用这条情感线来烘托故事气氛，使内容更加饱满。表示心情愉悦及旅途开心的表达有：

4. 依据语言特点，选择恰当词句

为了使续写部分能与所给短文在风格上接近一致，我们可以从句式结构、语法结构、词汇选择和修辞手法上进行分析。此篇文章的语言特点如下表所示：

三、优秀范文

Paragraph 1

The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we had brought with us. But then we were half an hour away from the hotel， where the tent was left behind. Dad recommended buying a new one， while Mom insisted on our going back to fetch it， saying“Forgetful people like me may lose things repeatedly， so its unwise to give up the tent.”Finally， we got back the tent and hit the road again. If Mom hadnt been that absent-minded， it would have saved us the trouble of going back again and again.

Paragraph 2：

We drove through several states and saw lots of great sights along the way. One day， towards evening， we found a great camping site at the foot of a high mountain. David and I helped Dad put up the tent， and Mom was busy preparing supper. When the setting sun cast an orange light over the mountains， the tent was set up and the meal was ready. Sitting around the camp fire， we talked and laughed. Every time we mentioned the funny incidents of the journey， a pleasant smile would spread over Moms face.

[范文點评]

此篇续写情节合理。第一段主要讲述了妈妈又把崭新的帐篷遗忘在了酒店，我们不得不再次返回宾馆去拿帐篷，再次凸显了妈妈的健忘。

第二段描写了我们在高山底下找到了一个很棒的宿营地，全家人围坐在营火旁谈笑风生的幸福场景。

续写两段符合故事发展逻辑。

在语言层面，灵活运用了较多词块，使文章生动形象，如leave behind，insist on，give up，at the foot of，put up，be busy doing等。高级句式运用娴熟自然，如where引导的定语从句，if引导的非真实条件从句，when和every time引导的时间状语从句等。

在衔接方面，恰当使用了逻辑关联词，如but，while，so，finally等，使文章衔接自然、层次清晰。

在动作描写上有David and I helped Dad put up the tent， and Mom was busy preparing supper等。

环境描写上有When the setting sun cast an orange light over the mountains， the tent was set up and the meal was ready，最后一句为点睛之笔，作者说每次我们提到旅途中的趣事，妈妈脸上都会洋溢着愉快的笑容，与首段完美呼应，且升华了主题。

综上所述，读后续写要写好，“五读四写”要做到。

责任编辑 蒋小青