巧用思维导图，搭建续写支架

陆圆

读后续写要求考生阅读350词左右短文，读完能理清人物关系，抓住人物特征，梳理故事情节，从而预测故事结局。在考场上有限的时间内，合理、清晰、丰富地展开思路，对考生而言极具挑战，而思维导图能给考生提供帮助。笔者结合2020年7月新高考全国Ⅰ卷中的读后续写，展示思维导图的妙用。原题如下：

阅读下面材料， 根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段， 使之构成一篇完整的短文。

The Meredith family lived in a small community， As the economy was in decline， some people in the town had lost their jobs. Many of their families were struggling to make ends meet. People were trying to help each other meet the challenges.

Mrs. Meredith was a most kind and thoughtful woman. She spent a great deal of time visiting the poor. She knew they had problems， and they needed all kinds of help. When she had time， she would bring food and medicine to them.

One morning she told her children about a family she had visited the day before. There was a man sick in bed， his wife， who took care of him and could not go out to work， and their little boy. The little boy-his name was Bernard-had interested her very much.

“I wish you could see him，”she said to her own children， John， Harry， and Clara.“He is such a help to his mother. He wants very much to earn some money， but I dont see what he can do.”

After their mother left the room， the children sat thinking about Bernard.“I wish we could help him to earn money.”said Clara.“His family is suffering so much.”

“So do I，”said Harry.“We really should do something to assist them.”

For some moments， John said nothing， but， suddenly， he sprang to his feet and cried，“I have a great idea！I have a solution that we can all help accomplish（完成）.”

The other children also jumped up all attention. When John had an idea， it was sure to be a good one.“I tell you what we can do，”said John.“You know that big box of com Uncle John sent us？Well， we can make popcorn（爆米花）， and put it into paper bags， and Bernard can take it around to the houses and sell it.”

注意：

1. 續写词数应为150左右;

2. 请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。

When Mrs. Meredith heard of Johns idea， she thought it was a good one， too.  _______________________________________

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With everything ready， Bernard started out on his new business. ________________________________________________

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故事分析：

本文介绍了Mrs. Meredith，乐于助人，在自己的三个孩子John， Harry 和Clara心中播种了爱和善良的种子。当她给孩子们讲述了Bernard小男孩一家的情况，三个孩子都非常渴望帮助他，并且确实想出了一个好主意——即把家里的玉米做成爆米花，让Bernard在社区售卖。接下来两段已给出开头，让考生续写。

段首句分析：

段首句是续写的起点，可以帮助考生预测内容。考生一定要仔细分析这两句话，以避免偏离原文天马行空的想象。

第一段首句When Mrs. Meredith heard of Johns idea， she thought it was a good one， too. 表明Mrs. Meredith认可孩子们的想法。既然如此，接下来Mrs. Meredith应该会鼓励支持孩子们，而孩子们则要分工合作，一步步采取行动去把John的想法变成现实。

第二段首句With everything ready， Bernard started out on his new business. 这句话起着承上启下的作用，前半句呼应上一段的准备工作完成，后半句提示这段应该写Bernard如何卖爆米花，如何和John等人分享快乐，表达谢意，以及适当总结升华故事。另外，值得注意的是本段段首就说Bernard开始卖东西，那么上一段应该要写到他们把这个事情告诉Bernard。

续写方法指导：

续写分两步，先想好情节，再语言输出。情节是支架，那么如何搭好支架，笔者认为可以分三步走：

一、理清人物关系，抓住人物特征

人物是故事的灵魂。只有基于对人物的正确解读，才能合理预测他们会做什么，怎么做。续写部分的人物特征才能和前文保持一致。本文中涉及人物较多，考生可以用思维图画出人物关系，列出人物性格特征：（考试时可以快速手绘）

二、探究情节发展，罗列主要动词

本文主要难点是人物多，动作多，如何根据人物特征进行动作分配，并有条理地描写动作，思维导图可以帮我们理清思路。

首先，考生可以提取头脑中的关键动词，绘制流程图：

Paragraph 1：

Paragraph 2：

这样做磨刀不误砍柴工，既可以让思路清晰，内容无遗漏， 前后不矛盾，又可以节约写作时间，不用边写边想，边想边改。

三、适当补充细节，让内容更丰富

故事线索理清之后，还要适当补充细节，让故事饱满。之前的流程图是人物的主要动作，为了让动作更细致生动，考生可以补充人物的神情、状态和语言描写。即在之前流程图的基础上，补充一些关键词。

如Meridith encourage 可以补充smile，advise等去丰富这个动作。

With a smile， she encouraged them to do it and advised them to make a careful plan.

Bernard sell可以补充语言描写，使人物更鲜活。

Carrying a big bag of pop corns， he began to sell them by yelling，“10 cents a bag， tasty but not expensive.”

有了足够的支架，写作文就是水到渠成的事了，以下就是笔者的一篇下水作文：

When Mrs. Meredith heard of Johns idea， she thought it was a good one， too. With a smile， she encouraged them to do it and advised them to make a careful plan. John， the smart boy， arranged everyones task right away. As planned， John began to make popcorns by preparing corns and heating the stove. At the same time， Carla dashed to buy some attractive paper bags. To inform Bernard， Harry rode his bike to Bernards home to invite him. Not surprisingly， Bernard was amazed at this great project and couldnt wait to come. After Bernard and Harry came back， they packed the sweet popcorns in the colorful paperbags together. Laughter and happiness filled this house.

With everything ready， Bernard started out on his new business. Carrying a big bag of pop corns， he began to sell them by yelling，“10 cents a bag， tasty but not expensive.”Hearing this， many people gathered around Bernard to buy pop corns. One hour later， all the pop corns were sold out， which meant Bernard earned 2 dollars. So excited was he that he shared this happy news with the Meredith family immediately，“Thank you so much. Without you I can never earn money.”Mrs. Meredith held his hands， responding，“No big deal， boy. We are so delighted that we can help.”

点评：

1. 从内容上看，逻辑清晰，情节有序，動作具体，细节丰富。如“去”这个动作，没有用went这种笼统的词，而用了更加具体的词如dashed， rushed， rode bike to等。再比如“sell”这个动作，用了carrying a big bag， yell 等来丰富动作细节。

2. 在语言表达方面，用介词短语，非谓语短语，从句等丰富句式。

由此可见，利用思维导图，学生可以为续写搭建信息支架和思维支架。支架越扎实，越细致，写作难度越低。

读后续写作为新高考的新题型，既考查核心素养，也培养核心素养。对学生而言，它既是挑战也是机遇。学生应该克服畏难情绪，用好思维导图，打开写作思路，逐步提高读后续写能力。

责任编辑 蒋小青