Jokes

李颖怡

Who Was the First Man？

A teacher said to her class， “Who was the first man？”

“George Washington，” a little boy shouted promptly.

“How do you make out that George Washington was the first man？” asked the teacher， smiling indulgently.

“Because，” said the little boy， “he was first in war， first in peace， and first in the hearts of his countrymen.”

But at this point a larger boy held up his hand.

“Well，” said the teacher to him， “who do you think was the first man？”

“I don't know what his name was，” said the larger boy， “but I know it wasn't George Washington， ma'am， because the history book says George Washington married a widow. So， of course， there must have been a man ahead of him.”

Something Really Cheap

After being away on business， Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.

“How about some perfume？” he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a $50.00 bottle.

“That's a bit much，” said Tim， so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.

“That's still quite a bit，” Tim complained.

Growing annoyed， the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.

“What I mean，” said Tim， “is I'd like to see something really cheap.”

The clerk handed him a mirror.

A Gentle Reminder

Having been married a long time， my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary， we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted， “Honey， do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years？”

Putting down the newspaper， he looked straight at me and said， “So， you want to switch seats？”

Plums

Mother： I sent my little boy for two pounds of plums and you gave him a pound and a half.

Shopkeeper： My scales are all right， madam. Have you weighed your little boy？